Love Yourself and Learn From Your Relationships

Love Yourself and Learn From Your Relationships

 

Learn from your relationships

 Relationships are an amazing way to get to know ourselves! They are part of our everyday life and play a great role in our spiritual and healing journey. 

 We are meant to be in partnership with others and we all have the opportunity to utilize our partnerships to grow and learn. But how? Keep reading!!

 

The Divine mirror

Our partners are reflecting our own beliefs and energy and simultaneously we are mirroring theirs. This mirroring effect that happens when we are in a relationship is there to teach us about ourselves so that we can start to take the finger off one another and bless that relationship. You can take it as an opportunity to observe the parts of yourself that are reactive. 

 This process of the mirror effect is happening all the time. When we have poor relationships we feel lost, and tired. We often try to find approval in others. This happens because we have not found our true identity within ourselves, so we are looking for that truth in others. 

 

Where are your feelings coming from?

It is common that when we are in a relationship, all kinds of insecurities that were already within us begin to rise up. All these insecurities, this needy energy, limiting and irrational thoughts that are inside us need to be let go off.

 When this happens, the relationship starts to feel heavy. We might think that this person in front of us is trying to hurt us or cause us pain, but instead, this is an opportunity for learning, for getting to know ourselves and ask ourselves: where our feelings are coming from? Is it from past wounds? Is it from insecurities? Is it something that we can fix ourselves, instead of blaming the other person.

Look within yourself

Healthy and thriving relationships are possible for all of us, but to get there is to begin to take the finger off one another and look within ourselves.

Sometimes you can find this energy going on inside you that raises when you spend time with your partner. But instead of being angry about it, you can be grateful for this person who is helping you see more of yourself, more of what is going on within you, and more of your true-self so you can let go of all of that.

“Who am I? Who is my divine soul self?” When we find this divine mirror and start to utilize it, we have the opportunity to grow more and start answering these questions.

Give and receive love from the heart

 

What is to love from the heart?

To love from the heart means that there is this deep, receptive, kind, compassionate, loving energy of listening to another and not try to change them or fix them. This love is already okay, there is no need to seek to control. It’s all about loving another genuinely and authentically and let the other be exactly who they are.

All of us could get to learn the way of the heart. The way of the heart is the way we find peace within our being. Love within our heart that is soothing, gentle, and kind. The more that we love this way ourselves, the more that we are open to having someone come into our lives who love themselves and others this way. 

Have the courage to say NO to the ego!

Any kind of fears, judgments, any shaming, blaming, that is not the way of the heart. 

The ego way of love is very needy, very control and safety-seeking. Therefore, it’s constantly trying to avoid its feelings of abandonment.

Some people ask me “how do I know if I am loving from the heart?”. Well, these are some of the clues: the heart doesn’t point fingers, the heart is wise and when it feels that there is pain that is coming up, it does not project it on to another. It lets the pain come up and move through.

The way of the heart is the way to love.

It is within your sacred heart that you will find freedom. You will find compassion and understanding, there will be no judgment, no suffering, just genuine love from the heart.

It is a beautiful gift to begin to learn how to love in this way.

It is not selfish to love yourself first

How self-loving have you been?

I am sure that you have heard before that you can’t love others if you don’t love yourself first.

How self-loving have you been in your life? It is really important to have some education about self-love and understand the difference between that and being selfish. 

Are you self-caring and self-nurturing to yourself? Do you feel like you are constantly giving and caring for others but not for yourself?

Hold yourself in the sacred space of consistent love.

When we learn equal giving and receiving within ourselves, it is when we truly learn how to give and receive love freely. Seeing yourself, listening to yourself, not waiting for others to see you, is a beautiful act of holding yourself in the sacred space of consistent love.

However, when we are trying to control the other person, their actions, their thoughts, when we are looking for their constant approval, then we are being selfish.

Forgive yourself

You might have something in your life that you can’t forgive yourself about, and is stopping you from self-love. The soul and the heart have already forgiven you, but have you? Has your ego forgiven you? You will wait forever for the ego to forgive as it is not capable of forgiveness.

If you are waiting for someone to forgive you, you could be waiting your whole life.

But you can always forgive yourself, right this moment. Stop the constant self-judging and blaming and forgive yourself. What’s stopping you?

 

Daily Self-loving Practice

There are many ways of being self-loving. The practice of breathing itself is self-loving. Here is a daily practice that won’t take much time but will definitely help you:

Everyday set an alarm for every two or three hours to remind yourself to take a few deep breaths. Spend these few seconds breathing and loving yourself, checking in with yourself.

Practice placing your hands over your heart and saying out loud and as best you can from your heart your name: “I’m here for you. I see you, and I love you.”

Remember to stop and re-connect

It is important to stop a few times a day and take a few seconds to re-connect with yourself, to become more conscious of what’s going on.

When we are unconscious, flow is not happening, but stress. That’s why I encourage you to take this journey with me and become more self-loving, self-nurturing, self-caring. That is not selfishness!

Keep Learning!

If you enjoyed this article and would like to learn more, check out these two audio messages I recorded about the same topic. They also include a breathing practice at the beginning!!

https://raganthomson.com/self-love-is-self-nurturing-not-selfish/

https://raganthomson.com/your-relationship-with-yourself-mirrors-your-relationship-with-others/

 

more blog posts: 

Practice Self-Acceptance and Find Your Divine Self

Practice Self-Acceptance and Find Your Divine Self

Accept yourself as you are & know your true divine self

The beginning of the year is always the time to prioritize our lives. It is common to set goals and intentions like going to the gym, losing weight, or learning a new skill. I would like to propose a new resolution: to accept yourself as you are and get to know your true divine self.

When you increase your consciousness, you step into your divine power and become the greatest gift of your life. A gift to yourself, to the world, and others. Isn’t this a beautiful goal for the new year and decade?

Get Rid of Distractions

To step into action and reach our goal, we need to get rid of distractions. There’s conscious distractions and unconscious distractions. How many of you get distracted by waking up and getting worried about what you are gonna do for the day? The need to be successful, or have other people tell you how good you look.

The ego is constantly trying to make you look externally for what you need, makes you think that you can make your life better through external needs. But the secret is inside yourself: you are getting distracted from getting to know your true divine self.

Quiet Your Inner Critic

 

How much time do you spend looking at the mirror having shameful thoughts about your body, or thinking of something you did or said that you regret, or how often do you have body-shaming conversations with other people where you talk about what you consider your “physical imperfections”?.

The truth is that all the time we spend shaming ourselves, we are taking precious time away from our purpose, we are not doing the work that we came to do in this world that currently needs us so much. That’s why it is so important to set an intention to be more conscious about your thoughts, to quiet your inner critic enough so you can see what makes you who you are, and recognize your worth. It is imperative to quiet your inner critic.

Stop Avoidance

Hopefully what’s most important to you is your soul. Who are you as a soul? You need to get to know your soul, so you can embody it. But to do so, first, you have to start paying attention to what is going on inside you.

Some parts of us need our attention, and if we don’t get in touch with ourselves to bring light to our inner shadows, we will always keep that struggle inside. We can heal from everything but to do so we need to stop avoiding our pain and stop avoidance in general. We need to confront it and embrace it.

Practice Meditation

Pour compassion upon yourself, and do meditations that allow your soul to rise. Even if it is just a quick mental exercise, it is important to do a scan of the mind, body, and spirit to help you re-center and configure yourself so you are more awake and conscious for the day.

Some days you might feel as if your day is not flowing, and you are struggling to go through it. It is often that we are not centered, we are not balanced, we are in a sleeping stage. To wake ourselves up, we need to check-in and connect with ourselves and the best way to do this through practicing meditation.

 

Recognize your Worth

Being conscious of your thoughts is the first step to start healing. Recognize your thoughts, feelings, and pain, welcome them, and separate yourself from them. Then set the intention that you’re willing to accept yourself in all aspects. Here are three exercises that will help you celebrate your strengths and accept your weaknesses:

1. Celebrate your strengths:

Worksheet from self-esteem-experts.com


List what you honor and appreciate about yourself—your gifts, talents, skills, and abilities. Here are some questions to consider while making your list:

  1. What do I appreciate about who I am?
  2. What are my strengths?
  3. What do my friends appreciate about me?
  4. What do I like about others? Which of these characteristics do I have?
  5. How would people who love me describe me?

When you have completed your list, read it aloud while looking in a mirror.

  • Begin each statement with the words, “[Your name], I love your…” (e.g., “Joan, I love your sense of humor! Joan, I love your willingness to help others!”).
  • Begin each statement with the words, “I love my…” (e.g., “I love my commitment to feeling good about myself! I love my openness to learn new things!”).

2. Accept Your Weaknesses

Worksheet from positivepsychology.com.

  1. Make two columns on a sheet of paper; call the first column “Negative Beliefs about Myself” and the second column “Affirmations.”
  2. Come up with somewhere between five and ten negative beliefs that you hold about yourself (e.g., I’m fat and unattractive, I am not lovable, I can’t do anything right).
  3. In the Affirmations column, create a positive belief that you can use to confront the negative belief and implement as an affirmation in your life (e.g., I am okay just the way that I am, I am worthy of love, I accept myself exactly as I am).
  4. Once you have an affirmation for each negative thought, say your affirmations out loud at least once per day to help them stick.

Be Your Best Friend

In this process of self-acceptance, you need to always remember to be kind and gentle. Would you say to a friend the things you say to yourself?

I found this beautiful reflection and statement by Rosie Molinary on her book Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance:

What if you could only hang out with one friend for the rest of your life? One friend is all you get to see you through the birth cries and the death cries, the celebrations and the losses, the laughter and the tears. One friend. Choose carefully.

Now, what if I tell you that this is not just a reflection question. There will be just one person that walks alongside you throughout your whole life. There is going to be one person there for everything. She’s already been chosen. She is you. Do you treat yourself as well as that friend you chose? Do you give yourself as much self-respect and patience and care as that friend gives you, as you give that friend? In the end, you will be all that you’ve got.

But way before that even, you are the only one who is always with you. You are the most immediate person you’ve got, and you should have your own back. You should believe in you, respect you, care for you, and treat you well. You should matter to you. What could be worse than spending the rest of your life with a bully, a mean girl, an insensitive disrespectful drag? I really can’t think of anything.”

If you enjoyed this article, we suggest to go and check out some of our other work as well. The other week Ragan released an in-depth audio message through her “Steps on the Journey” Podcast series. This episode “End Avoidance and Step into Acceptance” dives deep into self-acceptance, avoiding inner-reality, and showing yourself more self-love and compassion.

Take a listen: “End Avoidance and Step into Acceptance”

Hope this article was helpful! Let us know what you thought about the article by sending us an email on our contact page.

Keep up to date with Ragan through her social media platforms and newly released youtube channel.

The Law of Giving and Receiving

The Law of Giving and Receiving

Giving and Receiving With An Open Heart

As the year comes to an end and the Holiday season goes by, it is a great time to appreciate the gifts that we can give and receive from the heart. You might find yourself feeling stressed over the gifts that you have to give others: you don’t know what to get them if it will be enough, you are worried about how much money you need to spend, etc. 

It’s time to let go of the collective way of doing things and let your Soul lead the way! When we decide to open our hearts and choose to give and receive freely, we start saying no to materialism and yes to soulful appreciation and connection. What better time to practice than the Holidays?.

Our Yes Universe Is Always Giving and Receiving.

The world operates through a dynamic exchange, creating a constant flow of energy between ourselves and the Universe. This is why, when we give with an open heart, there is a natural reaction of receiving that happens.

The intelligence that runs the Universe honors your giving actions always and all ways. The more you give graciously and from the heart, the more you will receive, as you will keep the abundance of the Universe circulating in your life.

So knowing that your kindness will always be rewarded, why not practicing it more often?.

We live in a Yes Universe. The Universe says “yes” to what we say “yes” to. If you say “yes I have nothing” or “yes I am weak” then the Universe will say yes to these things, but if on the contrary, we say “Yes, I have everything I need” or “Yes, I am strong”, then this is what the Universe will give back to us!.

Give Graciously and Receive Gratefully.

 

Sometimes you might feel like you give but never receive anything back. This energy unbalance might be due to your ego getting in the process. A very important aspect of this universal law of giving and receiving is that it must be done willingly and from the heart, without expecting anything in return and always thanking the Universe for what we already have. Graciously and gratefully. 

The way to do things from the heart is letting go of your ego. As humans, we love to love, and acts of selfless giving offer the opportunity to feel this pure genuine way of being. Practice being genuine, soulful and loving!

A Less Materialistic Holiday Season: visioning exercise.

Sometimes we get wrapped up in an aspect of the holiday that is more materialistic based. I recorded a visioning session to help guide you through the Holiday season and experience the essence of giving and receiving in a way that is highly conscious, and highly spiritual. My goal for this visioning exercise is to make you feel the essence of your energy field and spirit being in tune with giving in a way that is unconditional and it is done from the heart:  Give and Receive from the Heart: Visioning Exercise.

What non-materialistic gifts could you give to your loved ones?

One of the most beautiful gifts is buying a journal for someone and write for ten, fifteen days, or as long as you wish, the reasons why you love them and appreciate them so much. Or maybe take that person for a walk on the beach and bring some food to share and enjoy some quality time together in the sun. Beautiful words, appreciation, and time are gorgeous and memorable gifts to give. 

*Three steps to start giving and receiving from the heart:

*From The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, by Deepak Chopra.

  1. Wherever I go, and whoever I encounter, I will bring them a gift. The gift may be a compliment, a flower, or a prayer. Today, I will give something to everyone I come into contact with, and so I will begin the process of circulating joy, wealth and affluence in my life and the lives of others. 

  1. Today I will gratefully receive all the gifts that life has to offer me. I will receive the gifts of nature: sunlight and the sound of birds singing, or spring showers or the first snow of winter. I will also be open to receiving from others, whether it be in the form of a material gift, money, a compliment, or a prayer.

  1. I will commit to keeping wealth circulating in my life by giving and receiving lives most precious gifts: the gifts of caring, affection, appreciation, and love. Each time I meet someone, I will silently wish them happiness, joy, and laughter. 

Say yes to giving graciously, receiving gratefully, and watch your life improve and change dramatically in a way that is heart-centered, loving, prosperous, and abundant. It’s magical, it’s real, and it is available to you!

If you enjoyed this article, we suggest to go and check out some of our other work as well. The other week Ragan released an in-depth audio message through her “Steps on the Journey” Podcast series. This episode “Giving Graciously and Receiving Graciously” dives deep into more about our “Yes” Universe that is ready to gift you as you give graciously and receive gratefully.

Take a listen: “Giving Graciously and Receiving Graciously”

Hope this article was helpful! Let us know what you thought about the article by sending us an email on our contact page.

Keep up to date with Ragan through her social media platforms and newly released youtube channel.

The Art of Manifesting: 10 Steps to Create the Life You Want

The Art of Manifesting: 10 Steps to Create the Life You Want

Manifesting is an art available to all of us that will help you see your wishes fulfilled.

By practicing the art of manifesting, you will also learn some habits to lead a happier and healthier life, as well as living consciously and gratefully.

 

Remember that you can join me at my upcoming workshop in Montecito, California to learn more in-depth about the art of manifesting! For more information, click here.

 

Here are 10 steps to learn the art of manifesting

and create the life you want:

Step 1

Live in your Higher Self

In order to learn to manifest your own reality, you have to first change the perspective you have of yourself. You need to believe in your divine power, which is always available to you once you know how to access it.

From this new perspective of yourself, you are not a body but a soul. You are your higher self.

Step 2

Observe Your Self

Have you heard before that “we are what we think about”? This is one of the basic principles of manifestation.

Through your thoughts, your words, and your actions you build your own reality.

If you wish to manifest the life of your dreams, you need to monitor and align your thoughts and feelings with your dreams.

Step 3

Get rid of limiting beliefs

Things are not “just the way they are”.

You have the power to choose how you want to live your life, and change it accordingly. But first you need to believe that this is a possibility for you.

Everything that you have believed as possible has gotten you to where you are currently in your life. So keep yourself open to new possibilities and know that they are completely available for you.

Step 4

Imagine your wish already became true

Imagination is a powerful gift that will help you in the process of manifesting what your heart desires.

Practice seeing your wishes as already accomplished, imagine what it feels like and be thankful for having what you wanted (even if it’s just in your imagination!).

Aligning yourself with the feeling of your wishes fulfilled will help you believe this is your reality and get rid of limiting barriers and thoughts.

Step 5

Stay away from other people’s opinions

Don’t allow external influence to take you away from your intentions.

Your job is to believe and stay focused on your final goal.

Other people might discourage you with their words or bring negative energy into your life.

You need to stay independent from these outside circumstances and keep your attention on your desire and intention.

Step 6

Go from “I am not” to “I am”!

As it was mentioned above, our thoughts, words, and actions determine who we are. Through your inner dialogue, you have the power to change the concept you have of yourself.

Think of all the things that you consider lacking in your life, then accept that you created the life you have through your conditioning thoughts, actions, and beliefs.

Start practicing changing your language in your inner dialogue, from “I am not”, or “I wish I was” to “I am”.

Step 7

Believe in yourself

The process of becoming a manifester can be a difficult one.

Imagination plays a big role and you need to be patient and stay focused on your intentions and the image of having your wish fulfilled.

Believe fiercely that you have the divine power to make your dreams a reality, and banish all doubt from your mind.

Believe in yourself and trust that you will attract the energy that will provide you with what you want.

Step 8

Be grateful

This is not only a step in the Art of Manifesting but in life! Being grateful keeps you happy and aware of how great a life you already have.

Gratitude is a great exercise that will make you appreciate and enjoy everything in life, as well as create positive emotions that will help you in your journey to manifesting!

Step 9

Come from a place of love 💜

When you live from a place of love, you avoid attracting the ego into your life.

The ego is always looking to make you act based on your insecurities, fears, jealousy, or other negative feelings.

If you practice gratitude and see yourself as having already what you want, you will stay in a place of love, and convey this feeling to the world.

Step 10

Accept that you have enough

If you accept that you have enough and practice being grateful for the life you have, you will stop the needy energy and more of what you actually desire will come your way.

Manifesting consists in turning our thoughts into a materialized fact.

The art of manifesting is the art of staying truth to your higher self, believing in your divine power, and bringing your own reality into form.

 When you manifest, you become a conscious creator of your own life.

 To know more about this skill, join me at my upcoming workshop in Montecito, California. To learn more about this event, click here

 

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