The Voice of the Real You with Dale Halaway

The Voice of the Real You with Dale Halaway

My mentor and close friend Dale Halaway returns to share our experiences and talk about the voice of the real you, and how important it is to become self-expressive and let your voice be heard.

Dale is the founder and director of the Dale Halaway International and Sage Teachings That Inspire.

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Audio Transcript

Below is an edited transcript for all of our bibliophiles and hearing impaired community members. We hope you enjoy!

RAGAN: Hello everyone, this is Ragan Thomson. Today, we are going to explore the topic of the voice of the real you. We are going to take a deep dive into this topic with our guest Dale Halaway, my mentor, close friend, and founder and director of Dale Halaway International and Sage Teachings That Inspire. But before we begin, let’s start with some questions for our listeners.

RAGAN: Have you ever felt like your voice was not your own? Where did you pick up the wounding that caused your voice to shut down? How important is it to become self-expressive and let your voice be heard? Did you know that when you reawaken your throat chakra, you reawaken to an entirely new life full of healthy communication, most importantly, with you? 

RAGAN: My guest today is founder and director of Dale Halaway International and Sage Teachings That Inspire. Dale has been influencing the lives and careers of thousands for almost 40 years. That is amazing. He is one of the world’s leading authorities on personal and business transformation, entrepreneurial success, and real leadership development. He has been in my life for many years. I’m losing track now, I don’t really know, I think we are coming up on a decade together in this life. I have attended many seminars with him over the years, I think I’ve reached around over 40 seminars, all of them being extremely powerful, life-changing, very beneficial seminars that have truly shaped my life in much more profound ways than I ever expected.

RAGAN: It’s helped me in my business, with money, with relationships, my relationship with my children, finding soul family members, really just starting to know myself better more and more over the years because of the seminars, because of what we do, which is intensives together. I do personal coaching with Dale. He really has been just a very, very important person in my life. I know he has been this for too many, many others on the planet, thousands of people now. He is just has a heart of gold. Recently I said he had a heart of … a pure platinum heart. That is absolutely true. I don’t know another human being on this planet that cares more about this planet than he does.

RAGAN: Well, it’s so good to have you, Dale, so happy that you’re here with us today. It’s such a pleasure to be with you. Thank you so much

DALE: Oh my gosh. I am very happy to be here with you, and indeed it’s a pleasure once again, the honor is mine.

RAGAN: Well, let’s launch into the topic together.

DALE: Sounds good, let’s do this.

RAGAN: Okay, great. We’re talking today about the voice of the real you. Actually, recently I just came up with the topic, and it’s a topic like I was saying earlier, that has been very meaningful in my life to truly start to find my throat chakra opening again when it was very shut down in this life. I know it’s still on its way just to stay open all the time. This is a very big deal. I think people don’t realize the work around the chakras. I know you do a lot of education around the chakras, and I’d like to explore that with you today a little bit. And just for the listeners right now, to explain a little bit more about what I’m talking about, the story of when I once had my throat chakra open, communication that came in was very open as well. I was very vibrant. I came in, I’m very awake, very joyful. In fact, probably for some people around me, it was a little bit too much.

RAGAN: For many people I know on the planet, they’re dealing with that right now. They come into an environment or they come into a family where maybe their voice is too much and then they start to shut it down. That’s just a simple way of saying it. I know that happened to me. There was a lot of vibrancy and almost what was considered hyperactivity in accordance with my family. As they saw this child that really had so much to say all the time with such sensitivity and emotionality, it started to seem in some way to them may be annoying or what do I do with this child? And I know there are probably many other listeners right now that might resonate with this.

RAGAN: In reference to my story, there was this, again, being very open, very bright, very awake, great communication, healthy communication, I thought that I was doing with others. Then as time went by more and more, I began to see that my throat chakra just began to close. And then I think it was around age probably, I think it was around age 16, 17 years old. It took about 17 years to officially close, where I literally could feel this moment where I was attempting to speak to certain people in my life, especially my father at the time, and I literally could not get the words out. I was trying to speak very quickly, I could feel my throat was itchy, it was burning. I literally had learned to stifle my voice to survive in that environment. That being said, I know you have your own story of your past around your voice and your throat chakra. I’d like you to share it when you’re ready as well and respond.

DALE: Yeah. Well, this is something that happens with most people. In fact, to be quite specific here now, on average, most people start to shut down around the age of five, or at least that’s the way it’s been up until now. Somewhere around the age of five, six, seven years of age, something happens in our life with our upbringing or around our upbringing that traumatizes us, impacts us like a Muck-Truck coming down the highway. It just nails us on an exterior level to the point where we get really scared or we become very confused or we start to feel really lost around something’s not right here. But when we’re five years old or seven years old, our brain hasn’t fully developed yet, so no matter how hard we try, whatever this experience is that we just had, we’ll never be able to make it compute for us at the age of five.

DALE: And so therein lies part of the where this journey begins of this shutdown mode. So we can shut down somewhere around that age, perhaps not fully as you just shared in your story, meaning something happens around that age and then it takes another 10 years or so with a few more experiences that accumulate during that period of time where, by the time we reach the age of 16 or 17, then now it’s really shut down. Of course, today we’re talking about the voice, but there are other parts of us also that we can also shut down.

DALE: This is going to be something that’s very unique to individuals. So, for example, you and I where we’re out in the world coaching, and we’re out in the world teaching, and we’re broadcasting, we’re using our voice so to speak professionally right now to serve. So most of us in that category have had some kind of experience. I won’t say everybody, but a lot of us have earlier on in life where something happened where we started to shut down our voice. Other people, that’s not their calling. They’re not to be teachers, they’re not coaches, they’re not using their voice to broadcast on a more professional, collective level in the way that we’re doing it, and so, therefore, their experience around that shutdown experience early in life is going to be a little different to them. I always like to say that so that those who maybe didn’t completely shut down their voice, we don’t lose them, that they’re able to connect too that perhaps they had a different experience than say, we did, around our voice.

DALE: But even with that, the voice is the effect. It’s never the cause. So when we look at, you referred to it as the throat chakra which in Sanskrit script, that’s how it’s referred to. In modern times, I’ve morphed, or not I, but I use a different languaging as a way to help more people better understand this. I refer to them now as the energy centers. So we have an energy center that’s very specific around our throat, but we also have an energy center that’s very specific just above our eyes at the center of our forehead. We have another energy center right around the center of our chest. We have another one that sits in the center of our solar plexus. We have another one just below that, and we have another one below that, we even have another one below that. We also have others that are even above those that I just mentioned.

DALE: Then we have secondary ones, so this can get pretty deep rather quickly if we wanted to go there. I mean, we would need more time to really do this justice. But what that means is that the throat energy center, the throat chakra is … many times the cause of what actually causes it to shut down is found in another energy center. And usually, it’s in one of the lower three. It’s in the lower part of the body, is where this actually gets housed or resides. In other words, when the impact happened, it happened in a way that affected us in that part of our system, energy system. And then of course, usually they go unchecked. In other words, nobody’s paying attention because part of whoever contributed to this shutdown mode also is shut down. 

DALE: So it’s also important to recognize that our parents too were shut down because they too had a childhood. And somewhere in their childhood, the odds are, they also got shut down. For example, their throat energy center could be shut down, which also means that another energy center that makes up their entire system of energy is also shut down. And more than likely, it’s that center that got impacted. And then whenever that happened, it went unchecked, because again, when it’s a child and a parent, or a child and a sibling as in older sibling, or an aunt and uncle, or just somebody that’s older, usually what that means is, that somebody has already been shut down, therefore they’re numbed down from this or unconscious towards this, so they’re not even aware at that point of the effect that they’re having on their seven-year-old son by doing whatever it is they just did, whatever that is.

DALE: Again, in all fairness to them, something probably happened, maybe even if it’s like to them at the age of seven. But again, it goes unchecked, it gets forgotten about, it’s buried somewhere within the consciousness, more specifically speaking, the subconscious, and then it sits there. And then as it sits there, it starts to accumulate more of it’s like energy to itself the longer it sits. So now, the person reaches the age of 17 and now something very specific happens around, in this case, let’s say the voice, or the throat, that literally cause the shutdown.

DALE: So in my case, what happens is … It didn’t happen at 17 for me, it happened at 12. I was literally on a radio show, somewhat similar to this. Now, I wasn’t speaking the way I’m speaking today, of course, I was only 12 years of age. The reason why I was on the radio show is because I lost my dog. And I was with my family, we were in another city visiting extended family, and my dog went missing. And so I got on radio shows and started putting out the broadcast. What my dog looked like, and I’m 12 years old, I’ve got a family, I’ve got siblings, and everybody’s really sad. If there’s anything you can do, we’ve got a little bit of a reward. And unique enough, we found the dog.

DALE: But in that process, the person that was one of the broadcasters who was doing the interview, he decided to mock me, and he got really ugly on air. He ended up putting me down, and criticizing me, and making fun of me, again, I’m 12 years old. Now, of course, what he doesn’t know at the time was that I had already been impacted. Another one of my energy centers had been impacted more than once earlier on in life. So that was all sitting there, all had gone unchecked until this moment in time at the age of 12, where I’m on a mission to find my dog sincerely but it happens to be with a real jerk of a kind of a guy that has very little awareness, very little consciousness of the effect his words are about to have in this case on me.

DALE: And so when he goes there … Now, I’m using the voice, right? I’m using the voice. I’m specifically using my voice. I’m using my energy center, my throat energy center that is, as a way to find my dog. I’m on a mission. This is my purpose now, and now I’m being made fun of on-air. Well, this hits me like a brick wall. I take this very, very hard. I cry on air, I get really upset and I freeze to the point of where I cannot get a word out of my mouth. On that very day, I started to stutter. My stuttering grew into a speech impediment. By the time I turned 17, I was diagnosed with a serious speech impediment. And yet at the age of 11, there was no trace of me having a stuttering problem at all. It only started at the age of 12 during this experience in the studio when I was on this mission to find my dog.

DALE: Now, some would say, like my mother when she was alive, that that’s what caused my stuttering. So for the longest time, we thought that’s what caused my stuttering. So for years, because I struggled with this all the way until my 29th year. And I was out on the stage speaking, I started speaking, I started doing seminars at the age of 19. So I’m in front of hundreds of people during my 20s many times. I had my own television show back during those years. And here I was, this stuttering, what I appeared to be, or what I thought I was a fool, a stuttering fool. I mean, how would anybody listen to somebody for even an hour that stutters a dozen times in the course of that hour. That never computed to me during those years.

DALE: And so for the longest time, I was attempting to solve something, resolve something, heal something, dealing with it based on this storyline that my stuttering started at the age of 12 in this radio studio while I was on this mission to find my dog. And nothing could be further from the truth. What that was, that was an effect that showed up in my throat energy center. What was causing it or what had already caused it had impacted me in one of my lower energy centers. That’s why it took me to the age of 29. It took me a long time, and I was focused because it was so embarrassing. I mean, if you can imagine, getting up on stage and 200 people sitting out in your audience and they’re waiting for you to start speaking, and there you are in the first couple of minutes and you get tongue-tied. Then you take them on a little journey for sometimes three minutes, you can’t get one word out.

DALE: It was incredibly embarrassing, humiliating. And yet, I kept on doing it, which was, sometimes I thought I was going crazy. Well, like, why would anybody do this? But obviously, at some point, I made the connection. No, I needed to do just that, because every time I did that, I became even more motivated to resolve this. I became more motivated to heal this. And eventually, I did. But it was because I recognized what I’m sharing here on our podcast together, is that this was the effect, this was not what was causing it. That radio show that day did not cause that, it triggered it. It was like sitting there all along just waiting to be triggered, meaning it was sitting down in one of my lower three energy centers.

DALE: But then when I found it and I got to the cause, what was so interesting, I healed it within six months. But now is in the right area. I was in the right part of my energy system, I was where it was at the causal level. That’s what I was working with. And once I went there and started working with that, it was only months away and cleared it up. Then I had all kinds of people coming to like, “How did you do that?” Because I didn’t go to a doctor, I didn’t go to anybody. Because back in those days, quite frankly, nobody really understood it. They didn’t know where to go, so I was on my own in those days to, if I’m going to figure this out, it needed to be in the way that I did or otherwise, I would have gone on stuttering probably into my 30s and maybe even into my 40s. Or who knows, maybe I would’ve done something stupid to myself like some people do just because it’s so embarrassing.

DALE: This is one thing you can’t hide. How do you hide a stuttering problem? You can hide a drinking problem, you can hide a sex problem, you can hide a gambling problem, I suppose for at least a while, but how the heck do y’all hide a stuttering problem? Every time you open up your lips, it gives itself away. So anyhow, that was one of my stories from back in the earlier part of this life.

RAGAN: I remember you telling me the story before, I hadn’t heard all those details. I remember feeling that what was so cool about your story was that you ended up having this phenomenal experience in those speaking engagements where people … you’re meanwhile judging yourself maybe as this fool, and then later hearing from the various many audience members that thought you were a phenomenal speaker, and that you work through it. I think that’s something powerful to be speaking about and noting right now for our listeners is that you really stepped into your fear.

DALE: Yes.

RAGAN: I’m guessing, I’ll let you answer this next, that the causal center, the energy center that caused the stuttering to begin, the true trauma was also fear-related.

DALE: Yes. Oh, big time. The way this trauma, this cause went in, I mean, I was not only traumatized, but I was also terrorized in terms of some of the experiences I had when I was younger. And so, yes, that’s where it was, and that’s where it got trapped, and that’s where it sat for the longest time. Then as I said, went unchecked for the longest time, and quite frankly, nobody would even want to go there because it was an area it would be really scary to go to. And even myself, even when I started tapping into it, I had moments where I was scared of what I was ultimately dealing with when I was working with it at a causal level.

DALE: But from the speaking side, the speaking side became my blessing, it became my grace. Because as you’ve heard before, yes, I was hard on myself, there’s no doubt about it. But that was one of my issues, that was one of my lower energy patterns. I could get really hard on myself, like over the top hard on myself. And clearly, this was a grounds for me to really get hard on myself because, again, I could never compute. How would they sit there and listen? But then again, the experiences that I had, I couldn’t compute them either earlier on in life. Just like somebody who’s five, six, seven, eight years of age, when these types of things occur, it’s impossible for that boy, or that girl to compute, to break this down, to make sense of it.

DALE: So that’s one of the reasons why it goes into suppression, why we bury it because we don’t know how to break it down. Our brain is not developed enough, and the people around us, for the most part, they either don’t even know what’s going on, or if they do, they have no idea how to break it down either because it possibly brings something up for them of a more scarier nature, so to speak.

DALE: But during those years it was very, I suppose, interesting because I did get incredible feedback. Just people were so beautiful with me and so supportive and would come back again and again. Then at the end, they would do standing ovations. And people sometimes would line up just waiting to say hello to me or thank me. Again, none of it computed. But when I got to the point where this was all resolved, I’m so glad it happened the way it happened because it left me with so many incredible memories, real memory. Not the type of stuff you read out of a book, it’s the type of memories that also get planted in your system. These are real memories. They were positive memories, they were victorious memories, they were memories of people, lives were being touched, and they were being helped, and they were inspired, and it caused them to go and do things in their own lives they were standing up to that they used to be afraid of.

DALE: I didn’t realize of course at the time, but they thought it was just so freaking brave for this guy to get up on the stage and be in front of hundreds of … not just once, but sometimes I’d do it like three times a week. This went on for years. I learned later that the audiences were just … that in itself was inspiring. That caused them to start to do things in their own world, like, “Wow, if he can do that, my gosh. And I’m thinking my problem’s so big. I take my problem and I compare it to his and my problem all of a sudden became small. So if he can do what he’s doing, what’s my issue? Time to pull up my bootstraps and let’s stand up to whatever I need to stand up to and start to face that stuff so I can get on with my life as well.” Because ultimately, come to the end of the day, that’s what it’s all about Ragan. As you know, it’s about really moving forward in our lives, moving onward and upward, expanding ourselves, connecting with our soul, our true self.

RAGAN: Which is one of the greatest ways, if not the greatest way to find our voice again.

DALE: Wow.

RAGAN: Isn’t it? To actually take the action steps of moving forward. It’s one thing to talk about it and say, “Oh I want to do that. Or I saw that in a book, and I’m watching a movie.” And to actually say, “You know what? No, I’m going to try that. I’m going to do that. I’m going to step into my life.” So to our listeners to really, again, accentuate how to begin to awaken your voice and through your story, I’m just hearing so much, so I just want to speak about a couple of things I heard, which is, first off, I know if to reawaken my own voice, was to start to confront my father. Just start having conversations with him that were difficult and challenging because I knew that if I was to say something where there was any vulnerability because that was his thing. If there was vulnerability and there was a button, he’d push. Then I’d feel more vulnerable, and I’d get weaker, and I’d cower down. This is all before I even left the home go to college at age 18.

RAGAN: So I started to really learn that if I’m going to heal this, I need to start being brave and have conversations with him that are challenging and speak up for myself. And that’s of course, well, now I’m starting to learn about myself and my voice through singing, through acting. Really getting into performance, starting to really express myself, to really be angry, be sad, to have these emotional experiences on stage that really let me use my voice. So getting into some of the strategies for our listeners of how to reawaken the voice. Stepping into your fears, getting into your life. What is it that you’re afraid of? Actually embracing it and walking forward towards the fear versus running from it.

RAGAN: I mean, clearly, I’d terrified too to be on stage with a stutter in front of hundreds of people. This is an amazing story. I mean, you healed your stutter in six months. To me, that is so incredible and hopefully extremely inspiring to those who are listening because anyone and everyone according to your story can heal their voice. And the strategies, like I was saying, of the singing, acting, doing endeavors or entering into experiences in life where you’re actually using your voice. You’re being challenged even though you’re afraid. Public speaking, going to, I think there’s something called Toastmasters, really challenging yourself in front of people even in just a small capacity.

RAGAN: I recently had a client, well, not recently, I’ve actually been working with her for a few years. And where she was at the beginning of our time together and where she’s at now with her voice is like night and day. I mean, she used to speak like a little mouth, “Hi, it’s so nice to be here with you.” And now it’s like, “Hi, my name is.” And with confidence and strength. And for us, the journey to get there had a lot to do like you’re saying, with these energy centers. I mean, the amount of fear and trauma that she experienced in her childhood, as I did, as you did, this is extremely common, we’re just now coming into more conscious parenting.

RAGAN: It’s not uncommon at this point that many of the adults on the planet right now had parents that might have not been so conscious. And again, like you were saying earlier, no judgment upon our parents is what I’m just making really clear once again to the listeners. And it wasn’t always easy and we experienced whatever we experienced with our parents who possibly were not quite so conscious. What do I mean by they weren’t conscious? I mean, they weren’t aware of how they were treating us. They weren’t checking in with you day-to-day and saying, “Hey sweetie, how are you feeling today? You look sad, how can I help you?” I’m just making an example here.

RAGAN: Just really checking with the emotional life of their child, of me, of you. Getting to know the real you rather than maybe the you that they saw that they wanted you to be, or you should be, or maybe they really don’t have time for. So the real you got stifled, the real you got pushed down. At the same time, the real you got pushed down, so did your voice. And the power and the importance of our voice, just it’s extraordinary, it’s a gift. And the benefits, we can go in those together for a minute. I know that you get to be self-expressive. You get to … It’s like you, I don’t know the words I’m looking for. It’s like by you getting to express the real you, by you getting to express yourself, your truth comes through your words, your truth comes out through your voice.

RAGAN: Again, someone who can’t speak, not that they can’t speak their truth, maybe they can do it through sign language or whatever, as long as we have the ability to express, I think that’s in whatever way we can, our voice is also a channel through which we as a divine being get to express ourselves onto the planet with our gifts, our skills, our talents. I mean, literally, there’s that much weight on the voice. And so it was for me, if I had decided just to keep my voice shut down, I would never have found acting, I would have never found singing, I would have never found these creative outlets that became so important to me for many years in this life, that brought such joy in my life and happiness and still do. For you, I’m hearing from what you were saying, some of the benefits for you to have found your voice through being brave and speaking in front of people is you end up inspiring, sounds like thousands of people, so beautiful.

DALE: No doubt about it. Yeah, many people were inspired, and still to this day still inspiring people through the use of my voice. You said a couple of things there that I’d like to respond to. In my case, yes, once I started dealing with what was causing this stuttering, I was able to heal the stuttering in approximately six months or so. But that did not mean to say I was out of the woods just yet. What was happening with me is my voice was broken. And so in order for me to even start using my voice, I had to repair my voice first and foremost. And so now of course, back then I didn’t understand what I’m sharing with you right now. This is all been years of reflection back on this particular experience that I had with myself.

DALE: So I got to the point, by the time I turned 30, I was no longer stuttering. Or if I did stutter, it would be hit and miss, it was no longer a lifestyle for me. But I was not out of the woods yet. And even though, by the time I turned 30 I was considered to be one of the better speakers in the country. I could get on the stage in front of a thousand people and I could captivate their attention for hours on end, sometimes days on end, done it many a time. And so you would think that I had it all worked out, but I did not.

DALE: In fact, since then, I’ve worked with a lot of speakers who are also very good at speaking on the stage. But you know what Ragan? When it comes to entering into a tough conversation with somebody else, they suck at it. They freak out. Some of them feel like they’re going to have a heart attack and hadn’t even opened up their mouth yet. It’s just the idea that this is going to be a tough conversation or a scary conversation with another human being. This could be a conversation with one of their parents, it could be a conversation with their significant other, it could be a conversation with their best friend, it could be a conversation with one of their customers. And next thing you know, they feel like they’re having a panic attack. Just the thought of having that conversation. What is that? They have not yet learned how to use their voice properly.

DALE: So what I realized in this, what turned out to be a long process for me is I started off this life and shortly thereafter my voice got broken. So not only was I misusing my voice, my voice was broken. Not only had I shut down from my voice, my voice was broken. So first and foremost in my situation, that needed to get repaired. And it did. And then once that got repaired, then it was a few years later that I realized I’ve got some issues around speaking up for myself. Oh yeah, at this point, I’m in my early 30s. The speaking thing, at that point, I’d already done a thousand seminars. I mean, come on, if you ride a bicycle a thousand times, even if you suck at it at the beginning, I’ll bet by the time you get to the thousandth round, you’re probably going to be pretty good at riding that bike, right? Would you agree? Of course. Who would not? Absolutely.

DALE: Well, the same thing with speaking. Once you get up on the stage and you do it a hundred times over a period of a couple of years, somehow some way, you’re going to start to get good at it. But that doesn’t mean to say that you’re using your voice properly. Back at home, you could be misusing your voice. On the stage, you could be one way, and back at home, you could be a bear. You could be really aggressive with your voice. Or you could be like a mouse with your voice, and you don’t say anything better yet, you withhold information and you withhold information for weeks on end. Your mate, your partner, or your fan doesn’t even know you’re even doing this. They think they’re dialing into you, they know exactly what’s going on with you. They have no idea that you’re withholding information from them because you have a problem with using your voice properly in your day-to-day world, even though you can be on the stage speaking to a group of 100 people. See the difference?

DALE: I went through what turned out to be an intense process that went on for, quite frankly, I’m not going to even say how long because it went on for a long time for me. Now, eventually, I got to this place of where not only can I use my voice professionally when it comes to serving people, assisting people, which is really important to me, but I can also use my voice when it comes to how I’m choosing to live my life day-to-day. And not only can I use my voice when it comes to living my life day-to-day, I can use my voice now constructively, productively.

DALE: And as a result, I now get a very different result in my life because of the way I now use my voice versus the way I was using my voice, say in my 30s. I hadn’t worked this out yet. I had resolved my stuttering problem, yes, but I hadn’t worked out what I just shared, not even close. I didn’t even know this was even going on in my early 30s. It took me my 30s to start to uncover what was actually happening. I had been misusing my voice and I didn’t even know that’s what I was doing as a way to keep it shut down. Even though you got me on stage, you would think I was the best at using my voice. Yeah, on stage, but not in my day-to-day life. And it was only when I got to it in my day-to-day life and I resolved that I healed that full-on.

DALE: Then what it did, it took what I already knew how to do really well on stage, and it took it to a whole other level. And now, to this day, I get constant comments, and compliments, and acknowledgments from people as you know about how it is that I impact their lives. Of course, I’m always using my voice as you know. But that has more to do with, I started utilizing my voice correctly, which meant I had to go head to head with my issues that I had trapped within my energy center where my voice was being used incorrectly.

DALE: And because our throat center is directly connected to our power center, so if we’re using our voice incorrectly, what that means is we’re misusing our power. And when we misuse our power, what that really means is, we create consequences for ourselves, also known as karma for ourselves. Now, we can be completely unaware of this, but karma doesn’t care. Karma could care less whether we’re aware of creating karma or not. It’s completely impersonal.

DALE: So in my life when I was really aware of this, there I am out in the world. Yeah, I’m speaking on the stage. I’m doing a great job, standing ovation after standing ovation. Awesome. People are loving it. They’re getting great value out of it because obviously, they’re learning something about themselves when I’m teaching, but it looks like I’ve got this thing all worked out. It turned out I didn’t have it all worked out. It turned out, it took me another 10 years to get it really all worked out. Actually, it took me a little longer than 10 years because in my case, I didn’t really have a teacher in my corner because when I was going through a lot of these years ago … In other words, I’m older than 30, I’m even older than 40 kinds of thing here. And so back in those years, you just didn’t have these types of teachers, or if you did, they were so underground. I mean, you had to really search for them and there was no internet. So the likelihood of you finding these type of teachers was not all that high.

DALE: So I ended up resolving my stuttering problem, I ended up having to uncover this on my own, or with the help of my guides and guardian angel, so it really wasn’t completely on my own. But nonetheless, I got to this place and then everything else just started to refine and it refined so beautifully because now what was happening, not only was I using my voice properly, but I was also now learning how to use my power correctly, which was now changing my karmic consequence. It was transforming my consequence into blessings now. So everything in my life was now changing for the better.

DALE: And of course now, this also becomes a source of inspiration for people that get really close to me because they see this going on, and sometimes it inspires them to want to go further along their own journey. Like, “Wow.” Again, just like back in the days when I was stuttering, “God, if he can do it, with what he’s got to work with, then the odds are I can do the exact same thing.” And so it still to this day, that’s why I say it still inspires people wherever they’re at along their journey to take the next step.

RAGAN: So what I’m hearing is there is this ability to find our voice, our real voice in a way that is coming from the truth of who we are, the light of who we are, and the love of who we are. This, the truth, our truth. And that takes time to figure out, it’s what I’m also hearing with what you’re saying. It’s not something you’d start a project you accomplish overnight.

DALE: Right.

RAGAN: And so just to our listeners to know that to do so, to discover your true voice and to discover the true you, the real you, I highly encourage getting a teacher, or getting a program, or finding a seminar, or finding a class, or a workshop, something that you feel connected to begin the journey of reawakening your voice and using your voice properly. I also was hearing may be what you and I both experienced and many other adults that now are attempting to do this, that maybe their families, or their parents, or whatever environment they were in had more of a controlling, manipulative, lower dense nature of the way they were communicated to. Just as an example what could have happened.

RAGAN: I know that was what I experienced, more of an authoritarian controlling voice, which I also began to take on and feel small because of all the different ways that we go with it. So for those out there, again, to our listeners that may have had that experience and they’re wondering, “What the heck is going on with my voice? Why do I act this way? Why am I having trouble in my relationships? Why do I feel that sometimes I just can’t communicate correctly?” I mean, my goodness, I remember my own marriage just really at some point just going, “Oh my gosh, am I able to communicate correctly? Why am I not feeling like I’m getting heard here?” Like really feeling like I was hitting a wall, and with your help and with my own inner work, really starting to see what that was about.

DALE: Yes.

RAGAN: Again, just really just hopefully helping our listeners know that there is a way to heal, and there is a way to heal your voice-

DALE: Sure there is.

RAGAN: And it can be done. And if we can do it and continue to do it, then they can do it as well.

DALE: Big time.

RAGAN: Yes. Okay. Thank you so much, Dale, for being here with me today. I’m so grateful. It’s been such a wonderful experience, and I’ve loved exploring this topic with you. So now, I would love for you to share with everyone if you have any upcoming offerings that you’d like to share about in the world. I know there’s a seminar coming up in Santa Barbara, so if you would please share with us all.

DALE: Sure. Well, yes, we always have a seminar coming up each and every month. If you go to and click on where it says live seminars, you’ll always get whatever the seminars are that are coming up over the next couple of months. The one that you just referred to that’s coming to Santa Barbara on September 7th and 8th, that weekend, will be a seminar titled Power of Achievement or what we call POA, and it’s a seminar that’s just … it’s a great seminar for anybody. Anybody that wants to become better at getting things done in life, anybody that wants to move the needle forward in their life and start moving in a direction where they get more fulfilled with what it is that they’re focused on, engaged in, this is the seminar for them.

DALE: Well, actually all the seminars we get great feedback on, but this one, in particular, it’s those people that just love to get things done. They love to achieve things, they love to accomplish things, and whenever they get an opportunity to tweak that dial, so to speak, to where they get better at it, they become more efficient at it, they become more effective at it. I mean, they just raise their hands and just say, “Sign me up, I want to go. If you can show me how to do this, just even increase the dial by 10%, I’m in.”

DALE: And as you know Ragan, the seminars are always a lot of fun. They’re very meaningful, they’re deep. It doesn’t matter what the topic is. This one is on the Power of Achievement, but if you stay in the know and check our website, or better yet, get on our list, sign up for our newsletter, we have all kinds of things we do for free, as in free resources, we’re always giving out to anybody that’s a part of our list that we email to on a regular basis, which then also keeps you in the know of the coming seminar or whatever that might be.

DALE: And if this is not the one that’s in resonance with you for whatever reason, then there’s a good chance the next one or the one after that will be. There’ll be one that all of a sudden just will speak to you in the most profound way and somehow, you’ll just know that’s the one that would be best for you to attend or participate in.

DALE: And lastly, if you get in early enough, we always have a really a generous discount. If you get in early enough for that particular seminar, so another reason to stay in the know. Go to, get signed up for our newsletter or just go on and click the “Live Seminar” button and it’ll take you exactly where you need to go to learn more about whatever it is that might be coming up.

RAGAN: Wonderful. Thank you so much.

DALE: You are welcome so much.

RAGAN: I’ll be at that seminar.

DALE: Yes, front row.

RAGAN: Yeah, as usual. I really am looking forward to it.

DALE: Yeah. Well, and what’s it like for you when you’re in a seminar? If you can just encapsulate because you’ve been to so many of them as you said at the opening of today’s show. I mean what is it like to you?

RAGAN: It’s like being in a heavenly dome. I mean, the frequency there is such a high electric frequency that you bring and it really is, we call it the heavenly dome experience. And the energy in the room and having various people doing the work together, really going for it, going inward, you feel very supported, there’s a lot of compassion in the room. There’s a lot of just a lot of deep connection, raw or real connection with the people that are there, so that’s really spectacular.

RAGAN: I know that’s why I love teaching and doing events, getting live warm bodies in a room. I think that’s there’s a real lack of that on the planet, so the seminars really bring that back into our life. Having warm bodies that you can hug and look into each other’s eyes. Then your teachings of course, ancient, beautiful teachings that are practical, and grounded, and effective. You really are in a room and experience that is very unique, and I think that’s very rare, that’s what you bring on the planet. I know that every time I go, I’m just so excited to be in the room, I’m sad when it ends. I think it’s a minute is passed and it’s over. It goes so fast you’re like in a time warp. So just the frequency, just that high, beautiful, lovely frequency. I really do see it as heaven on earth within the experience of the seminar room. At least that’s what I think it would feel like, or what it should be like, and where we’re headed. Profound really.

DALE: Beautifully said.

RAGAN: Thank you. Love you.

DALE: Ditto.

RAGAN: Today’s episode is brought to you by The Consciousness Network. The Consciousness Network’s mission is to establish, promote, and advance conscious communities. It contributes to local and global well-being through its ongoing programs, which serve as meeting spaces, training grounds, resource pools, and a support network to help the Santa Barbara and Southern California community fulfill its potential and impact the world. The Consciousness Network strengthens the bonds between all of us, creating relationships through which true healing, service, and transformation can take place.

For more information and to sign up, The Consciousness Network® may be contacted at

RAGAN: So if you enjoyed being with us on this podcast today, I would really love it if you joined me on my website. It’s and on my website, you’ll find any upcoming events. If you prefer to get into an event, there is even a place that you can buy your tickets for the events as well as testimonials you can check out there, as well as audio and podcasts. This is all free on my website. I have been hearing repeatedly from people not only and locally and around the world that they’re getting a lot of benefit out of hearing the audios which are offering wonderful hearing techniques for you to bring into your life. So I hope that you also join me and partake in these free offerings. As well as you can follow me on social media at Ragan underscore Thomson. That would be so wonderful.

RAGAN: So thank you so much for joining me today with Dale. This was so wonderful to be with you here today and explore this wonderful topic, this beautiful topic. I feel my heart is feeling really open and warm, and I hope yours is too, and you learned something really extraordinary for yourself, or very helpful, or meaningful for yourself, hopefully, life-changing in some way. And so thank you, thank you so very much. Many blessings to you. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day. Bye, Bye.


Spiritual Awakening and Conscious Living with Forrest Leichtberg

Spiritual Awakening and Conscious Living with Forrest Leichtberg

In this Podcast episode of  From My Heart To Yours, Forrest Leichtberg and Ragan Thomson share their personal awakening experience and discuss how we all have a choice to become more conscious and spiritual, and the way this decision can change our lives for the best.

Forrest Leichtberg is the founder and president of The Consciousness Network, a growing networking and event organization in Santa Barbara that helps people share their knowledge, power, and growth potential for the betterment of humanity.

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Thank you and have a spectacular month,

-Ragan 💜

Audio Transcript

Below is an edited transcript for all of our bibliophiles and hearing impaired community members. We hope you enjoy!

Ragan Thomson: Hello. Hello. Hello. My name is Ragan Thomson. Today we are going to explore the topic of the awakening experience. We are going to take a deep dive into this topic with our guests, Forrest Leichtberg, the founder of The Consciousness Network, a network designed to provide authentic ways to help connect people for the purpose of elevating their lives through health, business, and conscious relationships. Before we begin, let’s start with some questions for our listeners.

Ragan Thomson: What is spiritual awakening? How do you know when you are truly beginning to wake up? Is there very stages to the awakening process? What’s some of the symptoms of the awakening process? Is awakening a process that takes time, effort, and discipline? How worthy is it to fully awaken and what are some of the benefits of doing so?

Ragan Thomson: At the tender age of 17, Forrest, barely out of high school found himself fighting for his life in a surgical suite, and if he survived facing an arduous multi-year recovery process. Flash forward to 2018, and we find that 26-year-old Forrest not only survived, he is now living out his dream of giving back to the world and gave him a second chance.

Ragan Thomson: He found his purpose as a Santa Barbara-based entrepreneur running The Consciousness Network, a growing networking and event organization with a mission to help people share their knowledge and power and growth potential for the betterment of humanity.

Ragan Thomson: Thank you so much. This is so great to be with you, Forrest. Thank you so much, Forrest, for coming today for this podcast with me. I’m so happy to be here with you.

Forrest L.: I feel the same way. Thank you, Ragan.

Ragan Thomson: I was really looking forward to it.

Forrest L.: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Likewise.

Ragan Thomson: Forrest and I have been in each other’s lives for… I’m wondering how many-

Forrest L.: Gosh, three years,

Ragan Thomson: Three years now?

Forrest L.: Three or four years.

Ragan Thomson: Yeah, three or four years.

Forrest L.: Somewhere around that?

Ragan Thomson: Yeah. I’ve already… I love this topic because first off, my own experience with the awakening experience has been profound and I’ve known you for these years and I’ve watched you go through quite an experience of awakening. I think just even being in your life as your friend, and here we are in Santa Barbara doing our best to bring forth as much light as we can through the ways that we do, and bringing forth growth and the ability to get into whatever kind of workshops or get connected whatever people that they would like to have in their lives to help them move forward in their lives, in a conscious, more healthy way.

Ragan Thomson: I think we both have that in common. So this has been really fun to be a part of each other’s lives in this way, and just watch our own being changed through the experience, I think of bringing that… the work that we bring to the community. I’ve watched us both change and grow. It’s exciting for me to bring this topic, the awakening experience today to us.

Ragan Thomson: For me, I wanted to bring it forward because I think there’s so many people on the planet that are going through an awakening experience right now, more than ever before. Right? I think that before… I know for sure, before I’ve been doing this work for almost 20 years, and I still remember the first conscious company I started, I guess now it’s been about a decade ago and this company is called “In The Loving”.

Ragan Thomson: I remember the receptivity that was there was so much different than it is now. I think it’s a lot of fun as a teacher and a healer now to just be on the world sharing about this work because now there’s those out there saying, “Wow, I’ve heard about that,” or, “I’m a part of something like that,” or, “I want to be a part of something like that. What’s available?” There’s so much more available for their growth and evolution as a soul on this planet.

Ragan Thomson: That being said, we’re talking today about the awakening process. For me, watching myself wake up before was not as easy as it is now, is what I’m trying to say. Right? I remember when I was a child, there was so little understanding of who I was because there was this really bright light child that came into their environment and they were, I think just overstimulated in some way by me. I really think that I came in to rock the boat inside that family, and I sure did because I think that my energy and my really truly coming and so awake, and like I said, with just the high level of energy, was a little intense for everyone.

Ragan Thomson: There was like, “Wow, you’re so emotional, you’re so intense. You’re so sensitive. You have just way too much energy. We need to do something with this energy.” Therefore, I led into my career of sports, which led into what I would say going asleep again. Therefore, after that, moving into this kind of masculine environment, I began to fall asleep. Right? I think we all have our story in that regard. I want to hear a little bit more about your story of what you feel the awakening processes has been about for you in your life and your history. I just gave you a short glimpse of mine. I’m so curious about your story in regard to the topic.

Forrest L.: My story… Thank you for asking.

Ragan Thomson: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Forrest L.: My story, really my spiritual journey began about 10 years ago, maybe 11 years ago, and I was just a teenager and in high school, ninth or 10th grade. I found myself being fascinated with meditation and psychic phenomena, and different books by… There was a book called “Ishmael”. I forgot the author’s name, but people like Deepak Chopra and Marianne Williams, I used to read their books. It was fascinating to me.

Forrest L.: Then I found Eckhart Tolle. It was first… For the first time, my world opened up to these ideas. Then what happened is, I was struck with an illness and this illness was so painful for four to five years that I felt that it was either I was going to discover a way to navigate through that and come out the other end stronger than before and healed, or I just felt like I didn’t have a choice other than that.

Forrest L.: What I didn’t realize at the time that I was in so much pain, was the incredibly beautiful value that was contained in that experience. To me, the spiritual awakening process has a lot to do with the values that we awaken to. It seems like those values across all the major world’s spiritual traditions, you find some of the same values. Compassion, awareness, and growth, serve this community, these more spiritual values.

Forrest L.: I think that the awakening process, at least in my own worldview and the way that I’ve experienced it, has been the awakening to these values into the way that I conduct my life, into the way that I conduct my daily life. Am I being kind? Am I being compassionate? Am I being thoughtful? Am I growing in awareness? Am I pursuing my own personal growth? Am I keeping in mind, not just my own needs but extending my care and my love and care to those around me?

Forrest L.: To me, that experience of having that illness, what it did, was it forced me to face the reality of mortality at an age that most people in our culture don’t face or think about much. Facing mortality brought forth the questions of, “What’s really going to make my life most meaningful?” Because it’s like, “How long do I really have? How long does my family have? How long do the people I love really have?” The greatest awakening that I experienced in my life, at least one of them was rooted in that experience of facing mortality from this illness.

Forrest L.: Although one might look at an experience like that and say, “That’s so bad, that’s so horrible,” I don’t look at it like that anymore. It’s looking back in hindsight, hindsight 2020, I only see it as a gift. But see, I think each person has a choice to make, whether experiences like that and others, whether they’ll use that to fuel their own awakening, to fuel their own deepening process, or if they’re going to fall into a victim mindset and let it reduce their experience of life to something that doesn’t feel very joyful. I think we all face that choice. For me, becoming more conscious, becoming more spiritual, is about infusing our daily decision making and choice making with these values.

Ragan Thomson: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Powerful. What a courageous choice that you made to decide to move, is what I’m also hearing, right? You said there really wasn’t any other choice. Actually there was, as far as I can see, there was another choice, which was to probably be sick and possibly die.

Forrest L.: That was the other choice. I didn’t say it.

Ragan Thomson: I know you didn’t say it and I heard it. So it takes great courage and I have felt the same way at that young age of 15, when I was very sick as well and was sick with an eating disorder, right? That level of self-deprecation, self-abuse, self-persecution, self-doubt, which so many humans on this planet are dealing with can lead to whatever it leads with. That might happen to manifest into a very serious eating disorder with Anorexia and Bulimia. Other disorders exist, right? Other addictions exist, other habits exist that are unswerving. Let’s just put it in a mild positive way. Right?

Ragan Thomson: And they’re so prominent on the planet right now. I guess where I’m leading to is this, to our listeners, to let them know, just as you, just as I, decided one day to say, “I want to live,” I think that’s just is will, right, it’s the human will, and everyone has human will, everyone has that choice to make.

Ragan Thomson: When we talk about awakening, I think a lot of people are like, “What does that even mean? What does it mean to spiritually awaken?” Here we are giving our stories and I’d like to just dive in a little bit more of what that really means, right? What does… Because I really think there’s a lot of these terminology is being thrown around on the planet and some people really just don’t know what you’re talking about, right?

Ragan Thomson: We might be having listeners today that have experienced a high level awakening already, or are just getting started or haven’t even begun the process. In regards to spiritual awakening, what I saw is just like you’re explaining, it was this being who we truly are and knowing who we are and feeling that light this, that brightness, perhaps, that is who we are, right, God in the body. It’s amazing, right? Our true soul self, right?

Ragan Thomson: In that place we are unique, we’re divine, we’re an emanation of God, but there’s nothing lacking. Then you enter into this plane of existence on the human plane and you’re dealing with the environment, you’re dealing with stress, you’re dealing with people and their issues and their unresolved karma, and the media, and magazines, and TV, and whatever. Strife, challenges that you experience with other people. I believe those are on a spiritual path, typically have some higher level abilities and they may not even be aware of. One of them could be to be extremely sensitive and empathic.

Ragan Thomson: I don’t know about you, I just absorb my environment. It wasn’t just my own unresolved material I brought into this life that helped me fall asleep again, which I didn’t know how to work with because I didn’t have a teacher. That goes into one of our questions today, right? Like how do we wake up anyways? If we want to wake up, how do I do that? I’m so lost right now. I’m so stuck in my stuff. I think for… I don’t know, I didn’t get into this with you yet and I’ll ask this question next, but I believe every illness doesn’t just start at the illness. There’s something that happened before that brought you there. Right?

Ragan Thomson: When someone says, “Well, I have this addiction or I have this problem,” right, or, “I’m feeling really depressed,” or, “Now I’m on these antidepressants,” which is taking over the planet, there’s energetic issues within themselves that they were dealing with that maybe way before that disorder, that illness, before that addiction took hold.

Ragan Thomson: For me, there was just a lot of missed basic needs that were to be met as a child, right, just being heard, being seen, being listened to, being emotionally connected with, being understood. Very essential wonderful basic needs of a child. I certainly did not feel like I got all those met. There was… My parents did the best they could. So this is another very important note of this podcast today, is we are not judging our parents here. It’s just the truth is, there was just some missed marks, if you will.

Ragan Thomson: As a child being extremely empathic and sensitive, which most of the children I’m thinking of that have now become adults that are also struggling with an awakening process, most likely, were like us in some way. With that sensitivity and that emotional need for more than they got. Right? I think with that, that being met, I know my primary specialty right now is inner child work because so many adults are walking around with a trapped, traumatized child inside them that has never grown up.

Ragan Thomson: Therefore, there’s this kind of not understanding oneself, “Why am I still doing the same things? Why am I still acting the same way as I used to as a child? Here I am, wanting to move forward and be an adult and be strong and be wise, and thrive in my money, and thrive in my business, why do I look around and other people are doing that, but I’m struggling with this? What’s going on here?”

Ragan Thomson: There are flies that there could have been a time just like again, myself and yourself, that there was some sort of emotional trauma or build up of this energy that caused the kind of going to sleep again. Forgetting who we are, forgetting about our gifts, our skills, our amazingness, our uniqueness. And that I believe is what gets to come back our line as we wake up. Right? Here you’re talking about these beautiful values that you’ve started to step into and realize, what another incredible gift of waking up that we start to learn about our soul. We start to learn about our souls’ lessons, our souls’ values.

Ragan Thomson: These are some of the benefits, right, to waking up and which I don’t think we talk about that very much. And that how common it is for those to fall asleep in this planet because it’s not designed to keep us awake. As a parent, I have really been trying my very best. Number one, I said this just the other day to a teacher that I work with, a spiritual teacher, and I said, “My greatest goal is to keep my children awake.” That’s it.

Ragan Thomson: Literally, if they leave my house and go on to their next part of their journey, that if I could keep them awake, that would be the greatest gift I could give to my soul, to myself, to them. And that’s it.

Forrest L.: I think that’s an amazing gift that you’re giving your children. Certainly, I know so many of us would have loved to experience that kind of childhood and these values and being awake is a part of the arranging process. Thank you for doing your part in raising part of the next generation-

Ragan Thomson: Thank you.

Forrest L.: … to take the light that you’ve brought into the world in your own unique way and to pass it on to them.

Ragan Thomson: Thank you. It’s an undertaking and I’m doing my best.

Forrest L.: I commend you, although I do not know what that’s like quite yet.

Ragan Thomson: Thank you. Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Ragan Thomson: Yeah, and that being said, kind of reversing in that question, which is, do you feel like… What I’m attempting to do is help our listeners to connect with, were they awake? Did they fall asleep? Are they waking up again? Do they not ever fall asleep or have they just been awake the whole time? I don’t know. It’s individual, unique experience that we’re dealing with here.

Ragan Thomson: Do you feel like there was some energetics that were going on in your house or do you remember what might have led to the illness, anything emotional or that could have led to that illness?

Forrest L.: Well, I feel that one of my closest mentors for almost 10 years was a medical intuitive, and she was an attorney before she found her abilities as a medical intuitive. Her teachings and the fundamental core of her teachings are that, behind physical symptoms, she teaches about the messages behind your physical symptoms. That your physical symptoms have messages for you. For example, if you have some disorder happening, physical disorder happening, that chances are, for most people, it would be rooted in some kind of emotional, mental, energetic imbalance.

Forrest L.: Even in the eastern healing traditions, Chinese medicine, they view the beginning of illness as when it begins in this subtle body, they view the physical manifestation of that imbalance as a later stage in the manifestation of the imbalance. Let’s say you have something show up in your physical body. According to eastern healing traditions, that would be part of a later stage of the problem.

Forrest L.: They’re really viewing this in a more holistic sense that, “What’s the source and the root of these physical problems and how can we address them before they become physical problems?” It’s a fascinating area.

Forrest L.: I felt on the other hand though, that I do believe that our spirits, God, our spirits, our soul, will give us certain experiences that we need to have for the evolution of our consciousness, for the evolution of our character, of our… really to meet our life’s purpose.

Forrest L.: For me, I do strongly… I hold the belief that my own unique physical challenges that occurred back when I was a teen were more related to my spirit saying, “Hey Forrest, it’s time to wake up to certain things,” rather than being a direct result of an energetic imbalance.

Forrest L.: Now, I’m certain that I have experienced physical disorder, I have resulted in an inner imbalance, but I think that particular one when I was young, I think that was meant to be there. I think it was set up. For people listening to this, the one thing that kept me going was the awareness that there was something greater or something beyond the current present circumstance, and even though it wasn’t an intellectual awareness, it was more of an intuitive awareness.

Forrest L.: If people can just… Again, if you’re listening to this and you feel like your unhappy about your life in some way, if you can tap into some awareness that there’s a possibility of transcending whatever area of your life that there’s a possibility there, I think that, that could be a first step for people. Just knowing, or believing, having faith, and feeling into the light that’s both beyond the present circumstance but in some mysterious way also within it.

Ragan Thomson: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Yeah, that’s super. I connect with that very much because I do remember a part of my experience of coming out of my specific illness, there was something that I latched onto. I remember specifically throughout the entirety of that many years of being sick, was that I just felt like there was so much to be hopeful for in my future.

Ragan Thomson: There was this like regardless of what I was dealing with, there was something inside me that could see outside of the illness and say, “No, there’s a lot to be hopeful for. There is a lot to be excited about. I have a lovely family.” I just kept latching on to what was out here just to give me that inspiration to keep going, even when there were days where I didn’t want to keep going, and I think that’s a really profound important piece of this today. Because I think that all humans are consistently seeking hope and meaning in life, right, and more than we know.

Ragan Thomson: I read this book and it’s another wonderful self help book. I’m not going to give the title today. It’s a lovely book. It was all about that. It was all about how humans are consistently trying to seek hope and find a meaning in life through interesting ways. Sometimes… An example was a man had lost his grandfather. He never met him. He lived somewhere clear across the world. Although he didn’t know him, all of a sudden his grandfather, before he passed, was sick and he said, “You know what, I don’t know why I’m doing this. I’m going to travel across the globe and I’m going to start taking care of this grandfather I’ve never even met.”

Ragan Thomson: His dad was a strange from his father and he said, “I’m going to do it.” He ended up spending his next five years taking care of this grandfather he’d never met. It became this powerful experience of trying to figure why he even ended up here, who is this man, and he helped his grandfather very much for those years. It’s just an example. He felt a lot of… he had so much meaning in that experience. Right?

Ragan Thomson: He didn’t even know why he was there or what he was doing there, yet he found so much meaning in this experience and it taught him a lot about himself. I think what I’m hearing you say is for we as humans to… Again, I think with will, finding that will within yourself to say, “You know what, enough is enough. There is so much out there beyond what I’m feeling right now.” Because the ego, let’s just be honest, is extremely self centered. We’re just, “Me, me, me. My, my, my. I, I, I,” right?

Ragan Thomson: It’s like all day long, if you could just, “I want this, I need this, I have this,” right? It’s just constantly saying these messages and, “Acquire more and I need more and I want people to like me,” and we all have an ego till we don’t. Right? I believe that the ego was consistent until we transcend it, is trying to get us to be very self-centered. Right?

Ragan Thomson: I think with enough self-centeredness, as we know, or as we see on the planet, someone eventually can go to sleep. It’s not a light place to be in to not see outside yourself and think globally or think about other people or… Clearly, from your awakening process as you’ve shared, that became so primary for you. You could feel it. You wanted to serve humanity. That is something I love about you, I know that about you and I believe that is a part of the waking process. You become very selfless.

Ragan Thomson: I remember another… something I said once I started to get well, as I just was so excited to live life to the fullest. I was like, “I need to have experiences.” I felt like all of those years were a little bit lost, which is not true, but at the moment that I did, I felt that there was a waste of time.

Ragan Thomson: I was like, “Wow, there was so many years where I was just depressed and supposedly light,” right, out there, “I’m good, I’m fine.” How many of us try to put on a happy face when we’re actually internally struggling? I said, “Enough. No, I can’t even pretend like I’m not struggling now. I am obviously struggling.”

Ragan Thomson: Coming out of that struggle with myself really more than anything, and for you, I understand you’re saying that you were presented perhaps the illness to help you wake up more. That does happen. That absolutely can happen. For me it was it led into the illness. Right? There was a lot of missed markers and I believe there’s a lot of karma I was working through and different facets.

Ragan Thomson: Then there was this getting well period. I just remember I was just like, “Wow, I want to help the world. I want to go do things. I want to be a…” What another cool, wonderful part of waking up unto oneself again? Whatever you are unique to you as a soul, that will come online again. I’m curious if you want to provide to our listeners today, any kind of ideas or possibly strategies or anything that’s helped you or perhaps you’d like to present today to our listeners as ways to help them move into a state of awakening.

Forrest L.: Sure. Well, first, I want to acknowledge something you said earlier about the ego, “Me, me, me.” In Tibetan Buddhism, I’ve done a fair amount of studying of Tibetan Buddhism. One of the core premises in Tibetan Buddhism that I learned is that the cause of suffering is that part of the mind that human beings have to say, “What’s me, me, me, what’s in it for me?” The secret that they teach is to turn that inside out, right? To flip it around and start asking, “Well, what’s in it for them?” Or, “What’s in it for us?” Right?

Forrest L.: I think just the practice of that is very helpful. I spent some time last year in New York City. Having grown up in southern California, I knew my life here well, but sometimes it takes an experience of contrast to appreciate something more or to wake up to the reality of something in our world that you’d never would have before.

Forrest L.: Going there, I saw, of course, there’s magnificence and there’s affluence and then there’s also the people on the subways begging for one penny at a time. When I saw that during my time there, I spent a few months there, I realized, “Wow, people can really use my help. People can use your help, people can use the help of any of us.” The need was more apparent.

Forrest L.: Here in southern California, which is where we live, most people have to look for that kind of suffering. But in places like New York City, it’s common to see it almost everywhere you go. It was very valuable because it was like, “Wow, there are other people who will actually benefit from what I have to give.” I didn’t quite recognize that I have something to give until I went there and saw the need clearly.

Forrest L.: I think that it can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking that, “Hey, what can I give? What do I have? What gifts do I have to share?” I think… The fact is that there’s room for everybody’s gifts to come into service in this world. That’s one way. I think is just service, a commitment to service, and realizing that there is a need that you can fill and help fill in a beautiful way, and in a meaningful way, and in a way that the person on the receiving end will find value in or even a miracle in.

Forrest L.: That’s one way, I think, is to serve. Then of course there’s practices. Self-discipline is one of those core values that’s found across spiritual traditions. Self-discipline, applying it to this practice of being of service, but also practices like meditation and mindfulness and volunteering your time for the homeless shelter, or for a non-profit charity, giving money, being charitable.

Forrest L.: These practices can… Any practice that helps us become more well, that helps us thrive. Whether it’s your diet, your exercise routines, meditation, service to others, getting some sunlight. The more we can thrive, the more we can serve. I think the more capacity we have to serve is the more capacity we have to find a meaningful experience of life. Self care, really self- love, self-care through practices and self-discipline is really important.

Ragan Thomson: In regards to what you said, Forrest, I just really feel this kind of full circle for where we began, which is this idea that the awakening process from what I’m getting from our conversation is so much about finding what it is in this life that brings meaning to your life and lights you up. Right? It feels really good to give. It really does. It also feels really good to receive and it really is meant to be a reciprocal experience.

Ragan Thomson: I do believe though, as we give and as we receive and we continue to do that beautiful dance, that it’s like we’re filling up our tank, is that there’s this internal vessel, right, that we have and it’s like a tank. It just gets more and more full. That being said, it’s almost like, “Oh, I don’t know where to begin. Where do I… What teacher, what structure, what strategy, what holistic program, what meditation should I do?” Just start somewhere. Just start adding in a discipline that works for you. I think that’s something really important for our listeners because I think there is now a lot of options.

Ragan Thomson: I remember back in the day, I wanted to explore getting into a charity and serving. It was one of the best things I’ve ever done. I’m still working with this charity in LA and it’s been so life-changing. All I did was, listen and look and I found it, and here I am 10 years later still working on the board of the charity and volunteering, one of the most amazing things I’ve done in this life.

Ragan Thomson: I completely agree with you. Just my last point here is to our listeners, is just to research. We have an incredible amount of information at our fingertips, and obviously on Google. That’s one way. Then just start something. Start something and try something and watch yourself begin to shine and wake up and feel better and better. It’s quite possible for all of us.

Ragan Thomson: Thank you so much, Forrest.

Forrest L.: Thank you very much.

Ragan Thomson: What a pleasure being with you here today.

Forrest L.: It’s an absolute pleasure to be with you.

Ragan Thomson: Yeah, this was awesome. I really care about you and love you and I’m just so happy that you’re doing the work that you’re doing and look forward to hearing about it more. I would like to offer you an opportunity right now to share anything about what you’re up to, what’s going on in your life, what you want to share with the listeners right now so they know more about what’s happening in the world of Forrest Leichtberg.

Forrest L.: Sure. Well, my main focus… Thank you. My main focus right now is this nonprofit organization that I’m running called The Consciousness Network, which it’s premise is that, for a way more awakened world, the constituency of the world, it has to awaken, the more awake the constituency of the world is, the more healthy the world will be.

Forrest L.: It’s a consciousness network based in Santa Barbara. If you want to learn more about ongoing programming, speakers, like… we did a collaboration with Deva Premal in May, Jack Canfield in July, Katie Hendricks, Gay Hendricks, Dr. Dan Siegel, and a lot of other luminaries and authors and speakers.

Forrest L.: When you go to these events, you not only receive information and inspiration from the speakers, but it’s really about connecting with a community of others who are in their awakening process. These values that you’re learning about are being reinforced by a whole community of hundreds of people. Feel free to learn more at You can sign up for mailing lists and get all sorts of updates.

Ragan Thomson: Nice.

Forrest L.: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Ragan Thomson: Yeah. Another wonderful way to wake up, right, joining in community.

Forrest L.: Absolutely.

Ragan Thomson: You feel that support and that synergy and just feel, yeah, just know that you’re not doing it alone.

Forrest L.: Absolutely.

Ragan Thomson: So powerful.

Forrest L.: Absolutely.

Ragan Thomson: Yeah. Thank you.

Forrest L.: Thank you.

Ragan Thomson: Thank you for the work that you’re doing. Wonderful. Thank you.

Forrest L.: Thank you for your work.

Ragan Thomson: Today’s episode is brought to you by The Consciousness Network. The Consciousness Network’s mission is to establish, promote and advance conscious communities. It contributes to local and global wellbeing through its ongoing programs which serve as meeting spaces, training grounds, resource schools, and a support network to help the Santa Barbara and southern California community fulfill its potential and impact the world.

Ragan Thomson: The Consciousness Network strengthens the bonds between all of us, creating relationships through which, true healing, service, and transformation can take place. For more information and to sign up, The Consciousness Network may be contacted at

Ragan Thomson: If you enjoyed being with us on this podcast today, I would really love it if you join me on my website is On my website you’ll find any upcoming events, if you’d prefer to get into an event, there’s even a place that you can buy your tickets for the events as well as testimonials, you can check out there as well as audio and podcasts. This is all free on my website.

Ragan Thomson: I have been hearing repeatedly from people not only in locally and around the world, that they’re getting a lot of benefit out of hearing the adios, which are offering wonderful healing techniques for you to bring into your life. I hope that you also join me and partake in these free offerings. If you can follow me on social media at Ragan_Thomson, that would be so wonderful.

Ragan Thomson: Thank you so much to all my listeners today. I am truly grateful to have gotten to spend this time with you. It really is such a pleasure and a privilege. It’s an honor to serve in this way. Hopefully this conversation has helped you in ways that are going to be extremely beneficial for you and your life, to help you further in deepening your awakening process. Perhaps it’s the beginning of your awakening process. If that is to be so, I am so excited for you because what’s in store for you is a much more peaceful, joyful, loving, and authentic life.

Ragan Thomson: That’s what’s available for you just as it is for me, as it is for Forrest, this is what’s available for all of us. The more that we do this, the more that we choose to wake up. We’re not only giving this as a gift unto ourselves, our soul, we’re gifting all of humanity. That is what I believe to be true is why we are here. Thank you. Thank you. I am grateful. Have a beautiful rest of your day. Blessings.


Choose to Change and Live your Best Life

Choose to Change and Live your Best Life

In this Podcast episode, Ragan Thomson invites fitness trainer and founder of Bond Fitness, Jenny Schatzle to discuss how self-love, acceptance, and change improved their lives for the best.

Recognizing that you have an issue is the first step to make a change in your life. Once you see and admit you have a problem, you can work on it internally in order to develop your external reality.

Tune-in to enjoy this compelling conversation about the power of change!

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Send us an email through our contact page on what you thought about Mays “Choose to Change and Live your Best Life ” Podcast with Jenny Schatzle. We would love to hear your thoughts, feedback, and especially suggestions for upcoming guests Ragan should invite to talk with in the future!

Thank you and have a spectacular month,

-Ragan 💜

Audio Transcript

Below is an edited transcript for all of our bibliophiles and hearing impaired community members. We hope you enjoy!

RAGAN: Hello. Hello. Hello everyone. Hi, my name is Ragan Thomson. I’m so happy to have you here today on the podcast. Thank you so much for coming and visiting with me and being on this podcast. Today we’re going to explore the topic of choose change and choose to truly live. We are going to take a deep dive into the topic with our guest, Jenny Schatzle, the creator of the Jenny Schatzle Program, which is now Bond Fitness. Her own unique fitness and nutrition program that is now a global movement, it’s so awesome.

RAGAN: But before we begin, let’s start with some questions for our listeners. What are some of the ego attachments that many are currently facing on the planet which is leading to the denial of change? How does positive thinking really works towards creating beneficial change within someone? Is your slant more to the positive or to the negative in your life?

RAGAN: What are some healing methods and modalities that can create long term lasting positive internal change? What are some of the ways to create true lasting change in your life? What do you feel change in oneself results in? How does the soul benefit from change?

RAGAN: All right. So what I’d love to do now is just move us through a little bit of breath work just to help us get more centered in the space together and just more common our spirits. Just be here and be here right now. The breath is so powerful at doing just that. So I’m just going to move us through a series of five breaths and I’d like us all if you can, and it’s available at this time to close your eyes, if not, that’s all right too. You don’t need to close your eyes. If you can, please do.

RAGAN: So, I’m going to start us on our first breath here in a moment. I am going to count to three. On the first breath, I’d like you to move your breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. On the outbreath, please make a sound. So really let that sound out. And as the breath moves through a series of five, by the fifth breath, I would like for you to really just make a loud kind of outbreath sound, really just let it go. Just letting it all go. Okay.

RAGAN: So we’re going to start with our first breath. One, two and three (deep breath). One, two and three (deep breath). One, two and three (deep breath). One, two and three (deep breath). Your last breath, really let it go. One, two and three (deep breath). Thank you. Just moving in just to a normal, deeper breath right here and just remembering to breathe throughout the entire time at this podcast as much as you possibly can. Thank you so much.

RAGAN: My guest today is Jenny Schatzle. Even at an early age in Minnetonka, Minnesota, Jenny Schatzle was a force of nature. After moving to Santa Barbara, Jenny found her calling as a trainer, but she wasn’t living a healthy life herself. Everyone has toxic anchors weighing them down; food, alcohol, gambling, sex, pain, self-worth, people pleasing, etcetera. These are the elements that keep us from our best selves, is what Jenny says, of her early life as a trainer. Until we realize, forgive and move on, we’re all trapped in someone else’s story.

RAGAN: So after years not living to her fullest potential, she dedicated herself to a new lifestyle, one focused not on the scale or the speed or the energy, but rather focused on building a community that strives to be the best version of themselves and truly love who they are in all areas of their lives. And thus, in 2012, the Jenny Schatzle program was born.

RAGAN: Her unique fitness and nutrition program has earned a committed following and received countless awards and media recognition. Not one to rest on success, Jenny has expanded the local program into a global movement of people looking to harness their passion and commit to themselves. The movement’s approach is, Don’t just change your body, change your life. A statement of empowerment that blends results, positivity and fun.

RAGAN: So without further ado, I’m so excited to be here with Jenny Schatzle. Hi.

JENNY: Hi. Thank you for having me.

RAGAN: Welcome.

JENNY: Thank you. I’m excited to be here.

RAGAN: This is really cool.

JENNY: Very cool. Yes.

RAGAN: I feel very connected to you already. I haven’t really known Jenny before today, which is so fun. I’m meeting here today for the first time. I have researched you a little bit and followed what you’ve been up to. I’m looking into Jenny’s eyes right now and she has a very bright, bright soul and it’s such a pleasure to be with people like this in this world. It’s someone that you can really look into your eyes and just see that positivity and feel your light shine forth. What a blessing for me to be with you today.

JENNY: Ah, I feel exactly the same. You are an incredible energy and I’m excited to be here.

RAGAN: So this is cool. We’re going to be talking about a topic today that I feel like you would be pretty connected to as well based on what I’ve researched and learned about you and heard about you, all the good stuff that I’ve heard. So, we’re talking about choosing change and really choosing to truly live because of change.

RAGAN: I wanted to share with you a little bit about my story because I think we have a lot in common. I want to hear more about your story as well as I want to tell you a little about mine because I think it’s, I feel like the story of our past is not who we are, yet it has shaped us tremendously.

RAGAN: So, in my life I experienced a great deal of… Coming into this world, very bright, very light, very awake. Through competitive sports, after kind of becoming awake, I was in a family that was very driven and go getters and wanted to teach me to give it 110% at everything I did. I took that into a world of perfectionism, world of trying to be the best and winning and competing and becoming great at whatever I could be great at.

RAGAN: In that respect, the conversation I had with myself, with my family really led to me not creating a balance within myself around that, right? I am not in any way in judgment of my family. They did the best they could. That’s nothing of what I’m speaking of, but I feel there was this imbalance inside myself that was created.

RAGAN: I really began to live more with the ego rather than the soul. I started to really let the ego take the forefront. I’d like to dive into that a little bit today because for me, what that led to was this overriding energy of really needing to win at everything, and there was no acceptance of myself unless I was winning.

RAGAN: I really felt that if I wasn’t earning someone’s love or earning someone’s approval, then I was pretty much worthless. That happened over the course of time. It didn’t happen right away. I think that’s an interesting place to head to today with you, a little bit maybe how these choices that we’re making consistently are shaping our lives, and choice by choice by choice around age 15, it led to me more and more going to sleep, losing myself, not knowing who I was anymore.

RAGAN: Then kind of getting very sick, leading into an eating disorder that lasted for quite a few years in this life. So, I’d like to kind of explore that with you because I feel like you have something similar that happened to you in your life.

JENNY: I absolutely do. Yes. And I think… My story is, I’m seven years sober. I have a drinking problem, I’m an alcoholic. I think a lot of my life, you say the perfectionism is just this underlying, that I was never good enough. The sports thing with my father, it was, “Yeah, you’re good at that, but you’d be better at this.” Everything I ever did was never enough.

JENNY: It’s funny because as an adult I would catch myself not doing things that I wasn’t good at, right? Like I only like to do things that I was really good at. So, I was holding myself back in a lot of ways. For me, it was with the underlying of that “I’m not good enough” came that no matter what I did, I never accepted that that was a success or that was great.

JENNY: So, as an adult it was really just, I kept that story going that I just always needed more and because I didn’t accept who I was and what I was doing, nothing was ever good enough. And so, yeah, that’s… I’m losing my thought. Yeah. Nothing was ever good enough. I was dismissing a lot of things in my life.

RAGAN: It’s interesting you were saying how this element of becoming, basically judging yourself is not good enough, it’s a judgment, right? It came from, it started with your family. It started with this idea that, whatever you did wasn’t enough. So, it comes from this idea that we have to do something to receive love. We have to do something to be approved. We have to do something to be liked, to be loved, right?

RAGAN: This whole egoic trap that so many people are living in right now today, and the constant striving to do something rather than internally start to connect with themselves and their internal worth, their internal value, it’s so dismissed. I think that that’s another place I wanted to have with you because I know what I’ve learned about you is you’re all about, to do this work, to become positive, to become accepting of oneself, it’s an inside job.

RAGAN: It’s an internal experience. It’s not an external experience. It’s not about what we’re doing. It’s not about what we’re achieving. It’s not about winning. It’s not about being the best. It is this inside experience, it is this inside job to start to get in touch with who you really are at the core of your being. That isn’t always easy, right? I mean, it’s a process.

RAGAN: I feel like you, just like myself, I work with clients and classes and programs, it seems like just as you do, are aware that it’s a process. We don’t just wake up one day fully healed and the egos transcended and you already know that you’re acceptable. There’s a process to that. I’d like to hear more about how you would address the process of helping someone move into acceptance for themselves.

JENNY: Absolutely. My background is in fitness. I’ve owned a gym for six years, but I have been in the fitness industry for 18 years. What I realized was, you can lose all the weight in the world but if you don’t like who you see in the mirror every day, your life is never gonna change.

Justin: Being in the fitness industry, I had people every day coming to me saying, “If I just lost this last 10 pounds, then I’d be happy. If I just change this, if I just, if my stomach was flatter.”

JENNY: So what I did, as everyone did in the fitness industry, is I gave restrictive diets. I worked them out as hard as they could. What would happen is, yes, they would lose the weight, but they still weren’t happy. To be honest, it wasn’t sustainable. So, I saw this, what I now say is a toxic anchor and is a toxic cycle going on around and around.

JENNY: I wanted to be the change in that. What I realized was, you can’t change other people, it has to start with you. So, I began changing the conversation for myself and it led into changing the conversation for my clients and where I want to go in this world, which is to help people feel good about themselves and to change the conversation about fitness and body image and self worth because it’s not about weight loss goals.

JENNY: The problem I found is, we’re so obsessed with constantly being better and constantly being perfect that even when you are at that goal, you don’t realize it, because it’s not about the weight loss, it’s about the acceptance. And so, that’s where we’re really changing the conversation.

JENNY: I’m a new mom, I have two year old twins. What I’ve also realized is, we want so badly to change the conversation for our own children, our own family members or the younger generation, yet we can’t expect them to do the things that we aren’t doing ourselves. So, if we want to make change, it has to start with us. Just exactly what you do, we have to undo and unlearn the story that we’ve been carrying with us since we were little kids.

JENNY: And that’s really hard for people to hear because a lot of people aren’t living their own truth, they’re living their dad’s story or their mom’s story or the thing that the kid said to them on the playground in fifth grade, and they have created this whole story of not being worthy, not being worthy of love, of success, of money. It was never their story to begin with, and until that changes, those toxic anchors and those toxic cycles are going to continue.

RAGAN: Yeah. It’s powerful what you’re sharing. There’s just such a big contagion on the planet right now of so many adults that are currently looking like adults and maybe they’re 40, 50 years old and inside them is still trapped as a child, a child’s still inside them.

RAGAN: What you’re saying is, basically what I work with so often is the inner child where quiches, I’m constantly working with this child within various, I mean I work with 67 year old sometimes clients as well, and literally they still have a small little girl or boy inside them that still feels unworthy or not valuable.

RAGAN: It came from something really simple like some comments like you’re saying on the playground, or a few messages they receive from their parents of feeling that this whole life has been about that, about this lower energy, this dense energy that is of the ego, of the subconscious that is not who they are and it never got let go of. They’re still living with this pain and this trauma and they think that they are not, and they still are.

RAGAN: Once that starts to move, some of that starts to release whatever modality that you find that works for you to help to heal your inner child, which there’s specific work around that, that I love to do, and there’s other ways to do it as well. But to heal that part of ourselves, parts of ourselves, sometimes there’s multiple parts that are really holding us back from knowing who we are, really actually knowing who we are as a soul. Truly moving forward in this life, doing what we want to be doing, our passion, our purpose.

RAGAN: I’m sure you know how much this work can help someone reawaken to who they really are, to the point where they might look at their life and go, “Wow, I’m doing this thing. I have this job, I’m dating this person and I don’t even know if I’m happy. I don’t even know if this is what I really want.” I cannot tell you how many times they start to work with me and they start to go, “Okay, now that I started working with you for a while, so strange, I don’t even like my job. I don’t even like this hobby I have.” Right?

RAGAN: They’re literally like, “Oh, I like painting. I’m a writer. I know I had no idea I love to sing.” Right. Just this reawakening, and the same with what you’re doing. It sounds like it’s same through the work that you’re doing in the world. There’s this reawakening to oneself, one’s true self, and it’s through this idea of letting go of the past, changing the story.

JENNY: Yeah, absolutely. I really believe that our past is not a life sentence and we think it is. One step is, I think we all have to recognize the story that happened to us. So for me, very quickly it was, I’ve done a lot of this work, that’s what I feel so connected to you. I know exactly what level you’re on and how… Thank you by the way for the work you do in this world, it’s incredible.

RAGAN: Yeah, thank you.

JENNY: So, I’ve been through all this childhood and one thing was, when I was six years old and I was going to my tee ball game and my dad who was an alcoholic showed up and he was too drunk and my mom wouldn’t let him go to the tee ball game. At that moment, as six years old, I witnessed all of this and I started the story that I wasn’t good enough for him to stay sober.

JENNY: So my entire life, that underlying that I’m not good enough came from that story, which in the bigger picture was my father’s story. I had to forgive him for that and I had to give him his story back. Till 37 years old, I was living his story. He wasn’t good enough for his mother. A lot of times we don’t go down the line, we’re so angry at our mother or our father, especially now that I’m a parent.

JENNY: Every parent is doing the best they can with what they know. What we don’t realize is, our parents use the tools that they got from their parents, and it goes so on and so on. When we can step back and look at the bigger picture and say, “Wow, all I ever wanted my entire life was my dad’s attention. It actually wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know how to give that attention because his mother never gave it to him. But the thing that I can do is not pass that on to my children, is not marrying my father.”

JENNY: I married a man that is completely opposite of my father because I did my own work. I got myself right, and then the right person came into my life. That’s how I look at it. So, I think a lot of times we need to just step back and look at the bigger picture and we need to maybe have a little bit more empathy and forgive and start doing our own work. That’s the steps to moving on. And realizing that it wasn’t our story and that we’re allowed to give it back. So, when I gave it back, I got sober and I changed my life and it was the greatest thing I’ve ever done.

RAGAN: That’s amazing.

JENNY: Yeah. Thanks.

RAGAN: It’s amazing.

JENNY: Thank you.

RAGAN: Congratulations.

JENNY: Thank you.

RAGAN: That’s awesome.

JENNY: It’s taken a lot of work and I continue to do the work. I think it’s the same reason we’re both in this work as coaches and teachers. Is because we’re going through it ourselves, and that is my biggest thing in this, especially if you follow me on social media, my platform, is authentic, is real. I am not the person that is editing things and playing by the book. I talk about the things that you’re not supposed to talk about.

JENNY: And that’s a huge platform for me because I don’t want to live a perfect life that’s perfect pictures and edited perfect and makes everything look great because that’s not reality. I want to connect with people and make people feel valid, but also not to a point where we sit in it, that we validate one another and then we get to move forward. We get to evolve, we get to transform because that’s what you’re allowed to do.

RAGAN: Thank you so much. Yeah. I want to go back to what you were saying too around taking off the finger of other people and stop pointing and shaming and blaming and thinking that that’s going to somehow make you feel better or help you move forward or create change in your life in any way because it’s not, right? My specialty of course is to continue to see those as traps that were laid once again by the ego, which we all have until we don’t. Until we don’t, we all have one of those.

RAGAN: So, this powerful journey of turning within and recognizing that we hold the key inside of us to stop doing that. It’s not going to become from one day your parent or your friend or your beloved that it didn’t work out with saying to you, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I did this to you.” Like they’re waiting for that day, right?

RAGAN: It’s finally going to be that day that they get that one person or that thing to happen where now I can finally forgive. It just doesn’t work like that.You could be waiting your whole life and even when you finally have that moment or that experience, it doesn’t do what you hoped it would do. It doesn’t relieve the situation, doesn’t make the pain go away.

RAGAN: So, we get to, I think, choose to change and we get to choose to change layer by layer, recognizing what’s within us that’s still inside of us that is causing us pain and being really brave with that journey, and knowing that when I say that it’s a process, as I said earlier, that as I feel you’re saying, it can take some time. It takes some effort. It can take some energy to do so. And it certainly takes courage.

RAGAN: And with all that being said, moving into a program that works for you, for instance, Jenny Schatzle program, right? You can make that change. You can move into first off saying, “I do have a problem, or I do have issues, or I do have pain, or I do have suffering that’s going on.” Just saying that out loud, right? It’s the first step. You really cannot change something that you cannot see.

JENNY: Or that you won’t admit.

RAGAN: That’s right.

JENNY: Yeah, I love when you said, the day my life changed was when I finally said I’m an alcoholic. The most beautiful thing was, I have a business partner and the day I said to him, “I’m an alcoholic,” he looked at me and said, “Finally, now we can move forward.” There was no guilt. There was no judgment. There was no shame. It was, okay, now we get to move forward. And literally from that day on we’ve moved forward.

JENNY: A lot of things, first of all, I’m a huge advocate of therapy. I think it’s one of the greatest gifts anyone can give themselves, or working with a spiritual teacher like yourself. A beautiful thing is my mom who is now 70, and I’m from Minnesota, we’re like very Midwest Values. Therapy was, oh, I’m not crazy or I don’t need; we have those kind of taboo things on therapy.

JENNY: Finally I got my mom into therapy and at 70 something years old, she just texted me a couple weeks ago and said, “I can’t believe it took me this long. Therapy is the greatest thing I’ve ever done.” It is about doing this work and in today’s society we’re all looking for a quick fix, and we all know the quick fix doesn’t work.

JENNY: I mean, let’s take it to, my whole thing is changing the conversation on body image, self worth and fitness. The first thing is, I use fitness as therapy. Fitness movement changes your energy, your mind, your attitude. When you take away the, I need to, I have to go work out. When you task yourself something, you take the joy out of it.

JENNY: So, if everyday you wake up and say, “I have to go work out, I have to run three miles, I have to burn this many calories, I have to do 60 minutes.” And instead you change that into, Oh my gosh, first of all, I get to move today. There are a lot of people who can’t. I have the opportunity to move today. I know that if I even go for a 10 minute walk, I’m going to feel better.

JENNY: I have on my Instagram, every Monday I do these five minute movements because when I had kids, I realized I own a gym, and I can’t make it to the gym all the time. What I realized was, doing even five minutes of movement got me in a different attitude and a different mind frame. So, I really promote that any movement is good movement, and that stop using movement as a weight loss tool, that’s a bonus. That if you really want to change your body, you have to start changing your movement by being more accepting of the fact that you are able to move.

JENNY: And the other things of self awareness. We’ve got to be nicer to ourselves. We’re our own worst enemy, and it comes from the story of not being good enough. Trying to do everything perfect, trying to be the best at everything. So many of us are saying, especially after having kids, or just as women as we get older, “Oh well, I used to weigh this much. Well, I used to be this fast. Well, I used to do that.”

JENNY: Or thinking, well, by this time I should have been here or I should look like this. I should make this amount of money. We’re thinking so much of who we used to be or who we think we should be that we’re literally missing out on our lives right now. When you can accept where you are every day, that’s when you’re living your life. But we’re letting it pass us by because of the expectations of who we think we should be or who we think we used to be that we need to be there again.

RAGAN: The expression stop ‘s****ing’ all over yourself.

JENNY: Oh my gosh. Right. Yes.

RAGAN: Stop ‘s****ing’ all of yourself, and then also the idea of the have tos, need to, shoulds, consistent way of thinking and being, this is such a huge contagion on the planet. The way people are thinking; I have to, I need to, I should, I got to, I suppose to. It’s exhausting, is what it is.

JENNY: It’s exhausting. I think another element of it is social media. We just get sucked into this social media hole, where if you put your phone down and maybe go move for five minutes, instead of comparing yourself, I tell everybody this, if you own a business and you’re constantly watching other people’s businesses, it’s not going to make your business better.

JENNY: If you’re constantly following people that make you feel insecure about your body or how you’re raising your kids or your marriage, you need to unfollow them. We have this power to be surrounded by positivity yet a lot of times we choose to do the things that don’t make us feel good, like sitting on social media for an hour, where we could have done a lot of other things in that hour.

JENNY: So, my biggest thing is, you should follow… I mean social media isn’t going anywhere, so if you are engaged in it, follow the people that make you want to evolve, that make you want to be better, that make you want to do better instead of the people that make you second guess who you are.

RAGAN: Yeah, that’s powerful. Yeah, there is definitely a lot of wonderful, positive, cool outlets on the planet and I do 100% love to move. You’re talking to a mind, body, spirit, wellness kind of girl. I feel that movement in my life has been profound. It’s just so important to me.

RAGAN: It has changed and it’s evolved over time. As I told you, I came from athletic sports world and then that moved into yoga and plottings, and fun classes. Now I’m kind of in a place where, and I think I’m getting this from you too, it’s this place of just like checking in with yourself each day and seeing where’s your energy at?

RAGAN: And just do some movement, whatever it may be. Just move your body. It doesn’t have to be for hours every day either. For me, I just love how far I’ve come. I’m really proud of myself because it used to be so restricted, it was like “oh, today I will work out for two hours and I’ve got to burn this many calories, and I don’t know, I’m going to check the scale”.

RAGAN: I haven’t seen the scale. For me, I haven’t looked at the scale for years. Yeah, it’s beautiful. Some will say, “Well, how much do you weigh?” I’m like, “I have no idea.” It’s so liberating because I really don’t care. I know that that scale is such that the number has actually become for so many how much they value themselves through that number, right?

RAGAN: Gosh, I feel like it’s so important, and I think that hopefully our listeners are hearing us today, which is that you’re not saying, I’m not saying we need to be pro athletes or even do a three hour class or a one hour class, just do something with your body, move it, get it going, get your adrenaline going, get your heart rate moving, right? Feel the impact of that in your life. Feel how that really gives you that beautiful boost in endorphins.

RAGAN: I do have a story. I have a couple who came in my life that I have really turned away from exercise completely that absolutely love it. And it’s because of what we’re talking about. Every time I inspire because I know that if you, to this world, as you know, you cannot tell someone what to do and say go do it. Unless they choose to do it, they’re doing it, right?

RAGAN: People don’t like to be told what to do. So I just do my best to inspire and in couple of times I’ve gotten these individuals to get back up there and do a little exercise and then they lit up like a Christmas tree. It’s just amazing to watch the difference in their energy, their aura, their excitement for life. Just overall, just wanting to live.

RAGAN: I can just see them change and it’s interesting. It’s interesting watching that happen and then they see it, I see it. And then it’s still maybe not quite up back on the horse to do the full exercise, ritual, a few times a week. So there’s this process again of watching someone to, I guess I’m saying this out loud to everyone, so someone maybe who’s out there listening has kind of fallen away because of what we’re talking about.

RAGAN: They just kind of get burnt out or lose their interest or start to compare themselves to others. No, I need to do it this way. I should do it this way. Maybe I’m too many pounds overweight, it’s gonna be hard to get back up on the horse. Just get started. Just get started again.

JENNY: Absolutely. I really am talking about changing the conversation, because I can talk about all these things because I used to be this person. I used to get up every morning and weigh myself and I was either going to have a good day or two hours in the gym, depending on how much I weighed.

JENNY: I was obsessed. Food obsessed. Constantly on every… And of course diets always start on Monday, right? Every Monday starting the new fad diet. I mean, anything that’s out there, I have done it. What I really believe is any kind of restriction leads to bingeing, period.

JENNY: Any kind of restriction is not sustainable. That’s not a life change. You can tell me all day long that now not eating carbs is your way of life. I don’t believe that’s sustainable. I don’t believe you’re never going to eat a piece of bread for the rest of your life. And I don’t believe that that’s a way to live also.

JENNY: No judgment, I believe to each their own, you got to do what makes you feel good, but that’s exactly it. Why aren’t we doing more things that make us feel good? I used to be this person who had to work out 60 minutes a day, this amount of calories, and my body started to break down. It wasn’t sustainable. Especially now with kids, I don’t have 60 minutes. In some days I have 10 minutes.

JENNY: What I’ve really found is that movement equals joy for me. And so, that’s when it’s a positive thing. But also with the, like you were saying, the comparison, we talked about this earlier, we would never put a child on a scale and say, “Now I’m going to determine your worth. So by the number on the scale, I’m going to tell you if you’re successful, if you’re beautiful and if you’re worthy.”

JENNY: We would never do that to a child. Yet as women, we will do that to ourselves every single morning. We’re taking our own power away. We are giving power to a number on a machine. That machine cannot tell us how kind we are, what a great person we are, what a great friend, a great mother, how compassionate, how much empathy we have, how hard we work.

JENNY: That we are allowing our power to be taken away from us. That is why I’m so adamant about these acceptance goals, and like you said, this doesn’t happen overnight. We have to unlearn and re-train ourselves, especially things that are constantly being bombarded. I mean, think about how women bond. We actually bond over the things we dislike about our bodies, right? Have you ever been in a conversation with a woman?

JENNY: Oh, I know I’ve put on so much weight. Oh, have you seen my thighs? Oh, I know… We are the powerful beings on the planet. How dare we sit around disrespecting ourselves to each other and heightening that level of what’s wrong with us? We should be sitting around saying how beautiful we are, how strong we are. We literally create humans. We are the strongest humans on the planet.

JENNY: My whole changing the conversation is, I do not have the same body I did when I was 25 and that’s okay. I created two humans inside of me. I am strong, I am powerful, I am fit, I am healthy, I am happy. Those are the things that I tell myself to start my day, not the number on the scale.

JENNY: So, when we can try to start to change that conversation, and the thing is, these thoughts are going to come up. It is impossible for someone to be a 100% 100% of the time. You’re going to have negative thoughts. So how do you deal with that? Well, the biggest thing is, it’s up to you whether you give those negative thoughts life and power.

JENNY: So when those negative thoughts come up, what do they do? Like, Oh Jenny, there’s some cellulite. Oh, you need to lose this weight, or you’re not doing as much. You’re not being as much. I stop and I say, “Not today.” And then I move forward.

RAGAN: Awesome. Yeah, I am super excited about what we’re saying because in reference to the thinking, the power of the mind, it is this human computer that is consistently storing information, right? And some of it, and it does not know what it storing. It’s just storing whatever. We do have the power to say yes or no to what we decide to store.

RAGAN: I like what you’re saying in respect of, it really doesn’t have to be that challenging and hard to decide what we decide to store in our mind. We are the masters of our mind if we choose. Our mind is not to be the master of us. It’s just a really great positive reminder to everyone out there that when those thoughts come in, right? You can absolutely say, “Not today. No, thank you.” And change what you’re thinking.

RAGAN: Change. So, it gets back into this topic that we moved into today, which is choosing to change. And I think that change is not only, it’s internal I guess. And the internal change within ourselves in that way of thinking and the way we’re being with ourselves and how we’re talking to ourselves and what we’re choosing to put inside of our mind, which for me, Gosh, I’ve stopped watching scary movies.

RAGAN: I’ve stopped watching… I’m really not a fan of social media, although I am grateful to social media. Thank you so much and I don’t spend any time on it. Thank you Justin, for all my team that does. So, it’s what we decide to store, and what we decide to believe in. I am also a firm believer in having these positive, uplifting beliefs that are stored within ourselves, right? It really is up to us what we decide to bring in and to let become our way of life, our way of thinking.

RAGAN: When it comes to the idea of change, from that internal change creates our external reality, right? It’s our internal creates our external reality. And so, if someone wants to change their body and they want to change their life, I can not tell you. As you can feel, and I can feel and we can all feel here today, it’s all about what’s going on inside of us.

RAGAN: It’s all about that internal environment you’ve got going on. That being said, it’s really not this intense like, how do I do this? Who’s going to help me? Who’s the next person who’s going to help me do this? It’s you, it’s us, it’s ourselves, right?

RAGAN: I love that because it’s so empowering. It’s not outside of you. And yes, thank goodness for great teachers and therapy and programs and workshops and classes; all of these wonderful things to guide you, to inspire you, to get you excited about it. At the end of the day though, we choose, right? I get to choose. You get to choose Jenny.

RAGAN: We get to say, “Okay, yes, I’m ready for this. I don’t want to suffer anymore. I don’t want to not love myself or like myself. And it has nothing to do with the scale, has nothing to do with this number on the scale. It has everything to do with what I feel about myself. How much I like myself, how much I love myself, how much I care about myself.”

RAGAN: It’s just so often I know that everyone’s trying to see like, okay, so that person loves me. That person likes me. Oh, I’ve got all these friends. Oh, now I’m lovable. Now I’m likable. And everything you say, it’s something I say to a lot of my clients. You come in here alone and you leave alone, and the only thing you take with you when you transition out of this life into the next part of your journey is the growth, is the learning. That’s it.

RAGAN: What you came here, what your lessons were, how much you learned them. A lot of us, I’ve learned, and this is myself included, my clients included across the board, most all of them as a soul have come in with the lesson to learn, to love and accept themselves unconditionally, without conditions. Not about whatever; how much money you make, how good you look, how pretty you are, how successful you become.

RAGAN: These are perks to that experience. If you feel like you like yourself, you’re a pretty, you did a good job taking care of your body and you’re fit, great. But the most important thing is how much did you truly love and accept yourself without those conditions.

JENNY: I think a good way to sum that up is, everyone out there if you’re listening, choose you.

RAGAN: Yes. I love that. Choose you. Yeah, I’m really happy I got to be here with you today, Jenny. This has been super awesome.

JENNY: Thank you. You’re fabulous.

RAGAN: You are as well. I was looking forward to this today.

JENNY: We did something great. Thank you so much.

RAGAN: And thank you to everyone for joining us, all the listeners. This has been a true privilege and a blessing once again to do this podcast and to serve you in this way. So Jenny, do you have anything you would like to tell our listeners that you have coming up?

JENNY: Well, I would love for everyone to follow me on social media. It’s just Jenny Schatzle on Instagram and Facebook. I am in the process of writing a book.

JENNY: Yes. And then for all our Santa Barbara people, I would invite you to come and take a class at Bond Fitness. It’s a very positive, encouraging all level, no judgment. We help people feel good about themselves and my coworkers are incredible. I have a team that is just, I couldn’t do any of this, we all work so hard together. So, I really want to invite everybody to come experience that and meet my team members because they’re the best.

RAGAN: What kind of classes do you have going on?

JENNY: I love that. So it’s circuit training, but it’s circuit training on all levels. So we have everything from spin bikes to TRX to rowers, and literally it’s all levels. We have from walkers to runners. It’s nothing but a high five and great job. Again, we’re all there just to feel good about ourselves and it is truly the most positive community I’ve ever been a part of. So I’m super grateful and I would love for everyone to come in and meet my team and the coworkers because they are incredible.

RAGAN: Cool. Thank you.

RAGAN:        Today’s episode is brought to you by The Consciousness Network. The Consciousness Network’s mission is to establish, promote, and advance conscious communities. It contributes to local and global well-being through its ongoing programs, which serve as meeting spaces, training grounds, resource pools, and a support network to help the Santa Barbara and Southern California community fulfill its potential and impact the world. The Consciousness Network strengthens the bonds between all of us, creating relationships through which true healing, service, and transformation can take place.

For more information and to sign up, The Consciousness Network® may be contacted at

So if you enjoyed being with us on this podcast today, I would really love it if you joined me on my website. It’s and on my website you’ll find any upcoming events. If you prefer to get into an event, there is even a place that you can buy your tickets for the events as well as testimonials you can check out there, as well as audios and podcasts. This is all free on my website. I have been hearing repeatedly from people not only and locally and around the world that they’re getting a lot of benefit out of hearing the audios which are offering wonderful hearing techniques for you to bring into your life. So I hope that you also join me and partake in these free offerings. As well as you can follow me on social media at Ragan underscore Thomson. That would be so wonderful.

RAGAN: Wow, that was such a great experience today with Jenny. She has such a beautiful energy. I really loved being with her. Looking into her eyes truly was a gift. She has a bright, bright light coming out of them. So thank you so much for joining me with Jenny today.

RAGAN: And so, now that we’re wrapping up this podcast today, I would love to move this into a closing prayer together. So if you would, if it’s possible, I would encourage you to take a seat. If you cannot sit down, that is totally fine. If you’re moving, absolutely okay.

RAGAN: If you are seated, closing your eyes, placing your hands with your heart would be wonderful. Again, if you’re not seated, that’s fine too. All right, so we’re going to start by taking a couple of deep breaths. Moving the breath in through your nose, out through your mouth. Once more. Good. Moving into prayer together.

RAGAN: So I thank you, I thank you, I thank you so very much. Mother, Father God, Goddess for this beautiful divine blessed day. This time right now in this space and place, this present moment that’s happening. For in this moment right now, it is true that this is the best, the most beautiful moment there ever was, for it is the moment that we’re all living in and breathing in. There could be no better moment than that.

RAGAN: I’m so grateful for this day, this bright experience that just happened with my guest today, Jenny. I’m so grateful for the energy that came forward, the light that came forward, the messages that came forward of truth and consciousness that is here to help all of us, to awaken to who we truly are, to begin to live our life from a place of truly loving and accepting ourselves unconditionally, without conditions. Just loving ourselves just as we are, as a unique and divine expressions of God that we truly are.

RAGAN: We already are worthy. We already are successful. We already are enough. We were born this way. Nothing has ever changed and there’s literally nothing that you’ve ever done, nothing that I’ve ever done that is ever changed this. As unique divine expressions of God, we have limitless potential, limitless power, limitless possibility available to us at all times. There is no lack. There is no limitation.

RAGAN: It is true that sometimes we feel this way. Sometimes we might feel this way, less than or not enough. These are judgements, and it is true right now we have the ability to let them go, to fully forgive ourselves completely, totally and immediately.

RAGAN: So I ask you Mother, Father God, Goddess, help us all to move into a greater experience in this lifetime of fully letting go of anything and everything that does not serve us, to fully forgive ourselves for anything and everything that we think that we have done that was wrong or bad, that has somehow tainted our being.

RAGAN: This is not true. This is not true. This has never happened for any one of us. We are as we are, beautiful and divine. There’s nothing wrong with any one of us. We get to choose day by day our life and what we want to look like. There’s nothing stopping us from having the life and the relationships of our greatest dreams.

RAGAN: If there is anything that’s standing in the way of you, any kind of internal obstacles, any blocks of any kind, any kind of fears, doubts, worries, and securities, judgments, limiting energies of any kind, needy energy, irrational beliefs, anything at all that is ready to be removed from your body, from my body, let it be moved right now.

RAGAN: Thank you so much. Thank you so much for this assistance dear Mother, Father God, Goddess. With this clearing that is happening right now, I am grateful. And with these words I say, and so it is. Take a deep breath. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Have a beautiful rest of your day. Blessings.


To Know Thyself, Is to Love Thyself ❤️ with Adam Hall

To Know Thyself, Is to Love Thyself ❤️ with Adam Hall

How well do you know yourself? Do you feel confident with your ability to make the right choices? Are you ready to fall in love with yourself and your life?


In this podcast episode, Ragan invites Adam Hall to take a deep dive into the power of knowing yourself, and how this knowledge affects the choices you make in life.

Adam is an inspirational speaker, author, and founder of “The Genius Process”. Tune in to listen to his key insights on how to discover your genius, take control of your life, and love yourself as never before.

We hope you enjoy Ragan Thomson’s Free Monthly Podcast!


Make sure to subscribe at Apple Podcast or where ever you listen to Podcasts.

We would also love if you could review us on Apple Podcast, it really helps new people find the podcast and discover the Ragan Thomson Community.

What did you think of the episode?


Send us an email through our contact page on what you thought about Mays “To Know Thyself, Is to Love Thyself ” Podcast with Adam Hall. We would love to hear your thoughts, feedback, and especially suggestions for upcoming guests Ragan should invite to talk with in the future!

Thank you and have a spectacular month,

-Ragan 💜

Audio Transcript

Below is an edited transcript for all of our bibliophiles and hearing impaired community members. We hope you enjoy!

Ragan Thomson: So hello, hello, hello everyone, this is Ragan Thomson. Thank you so much for joining me on this podcast today. As usual, I’m just really excited and ready to explore a new topic with you.

Ragan Thomson: Today my guest is Adam Hall, and I’m really looking forward to exploring the topic around to know thyself is to love thyself. This is a topic that I find to be probably one of the most important topics of my journey in this life. To really get to know myself has been kind of an intense experience. I thought I knew myself coming into this planet, and I did know myself pretty well, and then along the journey of getting to know myself, I also lost myself for some time and I had to reawaken to who I was and that was a process. So I’m looking forward to launching into this topic with Adam here today, thank you so much.

Ragan Thomson: We are going to take a deep dive into this topic with our guest, Adam Hall, an inspirational speaker, and author and founder of The Genius Process. Today, Adam is going to share some key insights on how to discover your genius and love yourself as never before.

Ragan Thomson: But before we begin, let’s start with some questions to our listeners.

Ragan Thomson: So the first question I have, are you ready to fall in love with yourself, and find deep love in others? Are you ready to eliminate fear once and for all? Yes, I am.

Ragan Thomson: Do you feel confident with your ability to choose wisely in your life? Did you know our choices affect our relationship with ourselves?.

Ragan Thomson: My guest today is Adam Hall. After 24 years, he is the founder and CEO of Los Angeles based Middle Market Real Estate Investment Bank, and succeeding at making millions of dollars. Adam lived what most people would believe was a picture of success. Yet deep inside, he felt lost, he felt empty, out of control, and found himself questioning the future. He realized he was living a life that was inauthentic, unsustainable, and lacking the freedom he thought he would have when getting to this place in his life.

Ragan Thomson: In 2004, Adam underwent a profound awakening. This began a period of exploration, research, and study. Through this process, Adam came to a comprehensive understanding of consciousness, the nature of reality and how this knowledge can be accessed and applied to one’s career and personal growth. Yes. It sounds so good. Now Adam empowers both individuals and organizations to align purpose and mission, to activate potential, achieve extraordinary results, and create a lasting legacy. I like that. It sounds so good. I’m looking forward to hearing more about that.

Ragan Thomson: Well, thank you so much for coming here, today, Adam. I’m so happy you came.

Adam Hall: I’m so happy to be here, Ragan. I look forward to our conversation and deep dive and exploration. Let’s see where we go with it.

Ragan Thomson: I just really love being with Adam. I’ve met him many times now and we have a relationship that’s gone on for a few years. I don’t really remember exactly how long now.

Adam Hall: Three or four years now.

Ragan Thomson: Three or four years, yeah. And every time I see him, he has such a bright light that I see from such a far distance. And it’s people like this I really am fascinated with because I know that to obtain that sort of light, that light capacity, it’s an undertaking. Especially amidst the planet that we’re involved in right now. Our beautiful planet, Mother Earth. I know that we are up against different strifes, and challenges, and circumstances right now on the planet that are not always easy. And one of the challenges we experience, it’s not only with the external circumstances of the planet, but what’s going on internally inside of us. Right? So we’re dealing with both.

Ragan Thomson: And I want to explore that with you. Because today’s topic is around to know thyself is to love thyself. And I know for me that has been, like I said, it’s been an undertaking to get to the place where I’m loving myself more and more. For those who know about my journey, I experienced a great deal of light coming in, very awake, very blissed out, very excited around people who didn’t necessarily understand that light and really just wanted to figure out what to do with me really. And with all that energy and light. So they guided me towards what they thought they would be the best thing for me, which would be more competition oriented, sports oriented. And slowly but surely, my light went out and I became the best at something. So therefore the ego kind of leading the way, right? So then the process of awakening after that. That’s kind of the summed up version. I’m curious about your story of how it began somewhat and what’s happened for you to get to the place where you are today. So somewhat of your summed up version as well.

Adam Hall: Well, Ragan, thank you for having me today. And I always enjoy meeting you and celebrating your light and the love you bring to the world. So I’m honored to be here with you.

Ragan Thomson: Thank you.

Adam Hall: And to know thyself is truly to love thyself. And that’s the journey that we’re all on. And what an amazing journey it is, if I do say. And we do live in … This is an extraordinary time. We’re living in a very unusual time of great change and transformation both in our outer landscape and also in our inner landscape as you referenced. Yesterday, as a matter of fact, someone asked me, “So, Adam, what do you see as the greatest challenge facing the planet right now?” And I said, “Believe it or not, it’s not the elephant we think that’s in the living room, which is our climate. It’s really the inner landscape.”

Adam Hall: And the dramatic shift that I think many of us are feeling, perhaps you are as well, and I know I am, that things are really shifting in a very powerful way. And as a, I guess, an initiator or a pilgrim on this path for, well, now 15 years, as you referenced, I’ve never quite felt the intensity of the transformational process underway, which really leads me to get a little bit more into what you asked me around really what was the death and rebirth of my own personal journey because ultimately I was living that quintessential American dream. That hard charging capitalist lifestyle, really unconscious capitalist lifestyle. Many referred to me as kind of a more of an Earth conqueror than an Earth lover. And ultimately, as you referenced, that I didn’t feel well.

Adam Hall: And I hit a very powerful choice point in my life. And I believe that we’re all confronted with these choice point all the time in our lives, but some are real seminal events. And I hit one back in 2004 at the pinnacle of my success at seemingly the greatest place that I could’ve ever imagined in fulfilling my dreams of a big home, and a family, and the business, and the clubs. And all that, the whole nine yards, so to speak. But it didn’t feel good. Something was missing, as you were referencing. So it’s been a real journey of having to love myself to learn deeper and to the depth of my soul of who am I? And why am I here? And perhaps most important, what is my life’s mission? How can I serve others and how can I serve this planet? So hopefully that gives you a little bit of insight into the journey.

Ragan Thomson: Yeah, I read in your book about you were saying you became from the Earth conqueror to the … How did you describe? The Earth-

Adam Hall: Keeper.

Ragan Thomson: Keeper. So as your book is called. And I really appreciate that because, wow, if more of the people on this planet started to do that, what a different planet we would have, right? So I also really connected with this key point that you were talking about with the choices that got made along the way and how they didn’t feel good. You could see that some of your choices, there’s just this visceral feeling, in which I know I felt as well, that came over me, that even though I was at also the peak of my career, and playing tennis, and looked as being the next Capriati or something, right? It just blew everyone’s mind when I decided to stop playing because something inside of me was saying, “This is not who you are. This is not your path. This is not gonna bring you to a greater place of understanding yourself. This is not gonna give you a greater sense of knowing yourself. You’re not going to …” I remember feeling like you’re not going to be able to stand next to someone without competing with them. There was this ultimate competitive nature that that whole world offered me. And for some, maybe that really works. And for me, it just, it didn’t. It wasn’t a part of who I was in my sole self.

Ragan Thomson: And most importantly, I also heard you say through this awakening process that you also went through as I did, the most important reason why it sounds like you chose to do that Is you wanted to figure out how could you be of service to humanity? That was one of your greater … It sounds like that’s what you were saying. You realized that was more self-serving and to be more selfless.

Adam Hall: Yes.

Ragan Thomson: And I think that what I’m getting to is how powerful that is in respect to knowing oneself. These choices that we make that lead us down this path or lead us down this path.

Adam Hall: That’s right.

Ragan Thomson: Right? And so one path, although it may look good and people around you are like, “Good job. You’re doing well. You’re earning, you’re approving, you’re achieving, you look good, you sound good.” But at the end of the day, how do you feel? How do you feel about yourself? And I think that’s the key point for so many people in the planet, they’re doing something that doesn’t truly light them up on the inside. And they’re saying they have to do it, or they should do it, or they need to do it. These have to, need to, shoulds, right? And so, wow, I mean, what a contagion around the planet around what I just described. And so it takes bravery. It takes a lot of bravery to say, “No more.”

Ragan Thomson: And regardless of how good this looks, I really, really appreciated learning about your back story because it reminds me so much of my back story and the respect of I was getting a lot of praise, I was getting a lot of rewards, I was getting a lot of accolades, I was getting … I had this supposed path that would bring me glory or something like that, right? And so it was also external and it was based on what others thought of me. And so when we make these choices, not always easy, but maybe the right choice for us.

Adam Hall: Yes. And I think that’s important is to reflect on that path that we’re on. Because ultimately one of the things that I recognized is that as I begin to awaken, or begin to be more introspective into my own place of presence, my own place of light and joy, it really was a journey and it was full of trial and tribulation. And by no measure, Ragan, was it easy hearing from you about some of the challenges you have. And we seemingly want the magic pill these days, but ultimately, it’s work. But the work is really becomes the joy. Once the presence of that light and that energy becomes a real experience for you in life because that, for me, it became really about more, not only an interpersonal connection, but in really connecting with others in a more purposeful way. So the relationships that I had and experienced in my life have become so profound and deep. And when we really see one another and honor one another.

Adam Hall: But it’s easy to say what is the current status of my life in the presence of that, but I wouldn’t want to for one minute walk over, or skip, or not remember what this journey’s been like. And to honor others that support us on the way. That’s the beauty. Have you found on your journey that others come into your sphere, maybe synchronicity, or they’re supporting that awakening in the Earth school, so to speak?

Ragan Thomson: Oh, thank goodness. Yes. I mean, I’m so grateful for the teachers, the guides, the mentors that … I mean, just because I was open to, and I was ready for it, and I said yes to that. I thank goodness for being a part of competitive sports because I’ve always had a coach, right? So I’ve said yes to someone who’s gone further ahead than me since day one almost, right? Because I believe that to have a structure and a strategy in place where you have mentorship, or you have a healing program of some sort, or some sort of, yeah, some sort of teacher or guide in your life, I … Based on each segment of my life, I watched someone come in or a couple people to assist me on the journey. And I think that that’s a big part of getting to know thyself as well because so much of this journey isn’t always easy. And a lot of us have a lot of pride. We’re still working with pride. And we feel that asking for help, asking for assistance on this journey to get to know oneself is maybe a sign of weakness or no one’s gonna know how to work with their story, maybe it’s too dark, it’s too dense.

Ragan Thomson: So when it gets into what I’ve gone through to heal, which was not easy, and continues to be a process of fully resolving, I thank goodness for the assistance because I know for a fact I wouldn’t be here where I am today. Which, of course, because of this great assistance and saying yes to it, I am sitting here with you, right? So it’s just such a gift to, I think, first, number one, saying, “Yes, I am open to the assistance and I want that.” And I believe as soon as you do that, there’s this divine assistance that presents these people to you, or these programs, or a strategy that could possibly be in place for you to help you get the help you need to wake up. To get to know yourself better. And that’s what I really want to support for everyone because myself being a coach, by no, I’m not meant to work with everybody. So I want everyone to find whoever’s ready, to find who they would like to have in their life to help them as well and continue to move forward because it’s been priceless in my life to say yes to help.

Adam Hall: Yes. Yes to all of that. Beautifully said. I would imagine you, like I, have teachers in our lives even to this day. I mean, it is essential to call in those guides and those wisdom keepers. And I referred to them in my traditions as Earth keepers, people that are really helping to steward on not only our individual lives, but our collective lives. So I really honor that about your journey and just to hear that. And also, it of course, it allows us to be in our humility. And to really recognize that it’s okay. It’s okay to call upon others. And whatever our walks of life or whatever your means are, or lack thereof supposedly, the Earth school, so to speak, the place we walk on, the Earth walk, I would say, offers us so many people that come along. Maybe it’s somebody that smiles at you walking down the street. Or somebody that offers you an insight, or you read something, or you’re intrigued by an animal while you’re walking in your garden or a flower. And you were listening deeply to that support that we get in the universe. And I shouldn’t be amazed, but I’m in such deep gratitude every day about the gift of life and what holds us. And I would imagine you’re finding the same in your walk of life.

Ragan Thomson: Sure have. It’s been a process to not only be appreciative and grateful of that because of falling asleep at some point and then waking up again, right? And going, “Oh my goodness.” What it’s like to not feel that. To have that juxtaposition between really being in the dark depths and feeling hopelessness, and depression, and whatever. All those deeper, darker feelings that I went through. And to rise back out of that and to really have so much appreciation for the flowers, and the trees, and the, gosh, smiles on the street. Just anyone being friendly. Me being friendly, noticing just how good that feels. And I take such … I really notice that. I really notice that. And the world, the simplicity of life. And I think I’m kind of honing in on that because I think so many people out there feel that the little things don’t really matter. And I think that we’re kind of diving into how can we really enjoy life and kind of take life by the horns more by simply just noticing and having gratitude for the little things.

Ragan Thomson: And I certainly know that I didn’t always have this gratitude. It’s interesting, I just gave a gratitude practice to a client recently. And it was 21-day practice. Right? It was just 21 days. And every day to write down 10 things that they were grateful for each night. And if you forget, you gotta start over again. It sounded really easy, right?

Adam Hall: 199, what was the first one?

Ragan Thomson: Yeah, exactly. Well, this is right. And so 21, every day. Just write down 10 things at night. And that’s the practice. And every night, that was asked of this lovely person. And five days went in. And ego got in there and was like, “You don’t need to do that tonight. Why don’t you go out with your friend?” Totally forgot. Starting over again. Initially there was this criticism of oneself. Right? “I can’t believe you forgot, da, da, da”. Anyways, this beautiful thing happened where that started to get out of the way, the gratitude took the hold. Every day, had to start over a few times. Maybe the gratitude practice now turned into 90 days. And now I know this person and they are practicing gratitude every day. And it has been so life changing, if that was not the only practice that they brought into their life. Literally, at the beginning, it was like, “What am I grateful for? What is this life about? What do I have to be grateful for?” I’m scanning over their day, really trying … I’m grateful for … You always had to be very specific, try to figure it out. And it just became, wow, there’s so much to be grateful for.

Adam Hall: Indeed. Indeed. And I would encourage everyone to tune into gratitude not only in the way that Ragan just shared with us, but in a way that really is very powerful as an act of forgiveness of another. Because ultimately, when we recognize someone even though we feel the pain of our intersection with them to varying degrees, because obviously things can be very verbally, or physically abusive, or traumatic, or just emotionally debilitating in many ways. But ultimately when we recognize, well, what is it within this other person that I can find some gratitude? And the balancing of the pain, and the tension, and the trauma that comes through just a grateful piece of someone and that seemingly brought difficulty into your life is a very powerful healing process. And it’s something that is so easy to invoke.

Adam Hall: And I was working with a very talented, quite powerful millennial, a woman recently. And she was going through a divorce with her business partner. Kind of a multi-million dollar kind of business relationship. And I felt the tension. It was very clear and evident in her process. And ultimately, I said, “What is it, when you sign your papers, are you going to celebrate with her?” And she used … That stopped her in her tracks. And of course, we turned that around to say, “What is it that you feel so grateful to her about?” And it relieved the tension. It began to allow those things that no longer serve us.

Adam Hall: Because as you know, we often live today based on our past. We think that way. We act that way. Everything we do is often predicated on our life’s experience. And this is what we’re really talking about today. About knowing ourselves and really stepping into the love of who we are because ultimately, we’re unleashing. We’re kind of unwinding the old structure of who we are, really that kind of old 1.0 version and installing this upgraded system of who we are through this process of, well, self-awareness, self-actualization, awakening. Whatever we want to call the journey. I mean, that’s a very powerful place. And to let go, and to use gratitude, and deep forgiveness to do that allows us to get more into the depths of who we are. And that’s the beauty of this journey. And we reference so wonderfully. Just even in walking down the street or being in the presence of another. Being here with you today to see the light within you. See the expression or what something that maybe is really indelible. Maybe it’s a color. Maybe it’s whatever it might be. But to see that in other because ultimately, we too want to be seen and we want to be recognized for our light. And when we are seen and recognized for what we share in our gifts, it really, really amounts to a place where we are in a deeper connection. Not only with someone else, but within ourselves.

Adam Hall: So real simple test of this is if you’re walking out and you feel the you and I. You feel the separation with another, then we’re immediately finding ourselves defaulting into either a defensive place, a place where we may feel fearful, or where we’re not really connecting in the gratitude of the life, well, we all share together. So I love that as always as a starting point with people to play with that and have fun with that part of the journey.

Ragan Thomson: That’s so beautiful. Yeah, that’s really beautiful. And I was hearing you kind of explore how we have this connection with everyone really innately. Whether you know it or not. Walking down the street, we’re all very connected. I mean, whether we have spoken to them or not, we’re just gone in the body. We’re all this beautiful universal force of energy that’s connected on this planet, which is so beautiful. And there’s so often there’s these blocks within us that we feel or think that we’re separate from the, and we’re different, we’re so different. And so often it leads to very little conversation between people at times, right? They kinda pass each other by like, say, “Hey, how are you? Good morning?” And I answer.

Adam Hall: I’m not even.

Ragan Thomson: Exactly. I’m not even. And it’s funny, I think maybe it’s the Midwestern girl in me because where I’m from, someone says, “Hey, how are you?” And we’re actually waiting for an answer. And so I just want to encourage our listeners to regardless of what the response is from others, regardless of whether they smile or not, or regardless if you get that response you want to hear, still ask, “Hello, how are you?” And say, “Hello, how are you?” Still practice acts of kindness, still do without expectation. I know, I remember. I remember this really, the time when I left the Midwest, came to California, and then I realized the difference between the vibration, right? As far the friendliness and the openness. And there was a couple years where I was really like, “Oh, that’s too bad. That’s a little sad.” And then thank goodness for some good transformational healing work and just starting to say, “You know what? I know who I am. I am the core of my being. A loving, friendly, kind person. And just because others outside of me sometimes aren’t, I’m not gonna stop that. I’m not gonna stop being who I am.”

Adam Hall: Yes.

Ragan Thomson: Right? So I think the key point here that I’m saying is that inside of every soul in this planet, we have unique traits, unique personality … Let’s do a note. I’m gonna delete the personality here. Inside your soul, within your heart center, there is these beautiful traits. The style of your being, perhaps, as you like to say. And your soul wants to express a certain way and has beautiful characteristics. And to know those and to celebrate those without wanting others to celebrate them with you is such an important thing because that can be one of the obstacles that I’m describing.

Adam Hall: For sure.

Ragan Thomson: And letting go of any expectation of what you’re going to receive when you do express your soul self. And then you know what’s super cool that I’ve noticed is that the more that you do that, the more that you do start to attract others who also celebrate who they are … And I remember a time where my whole family, my spiritual family around me was a little bit smaller. And I thought, maybe on this hand, one hand I could really be authentic with these people. That’s it. And as I became more authentic, as I got to know myself better, as I began to let go of what doesn’t serve me whether it be around my money, around certain relationships that were unserving that were heavier in my life, whether that be with … Gosh, I don’t know. Endeavors, jobs, that I take, and just things I just was … You know what? This does not bring me joy. This is not making me happy. And this person I’m with, it’s a heavy energy, you know what? I’m done. To let go what does not serve you makes room for what does, right?

Ragan Thomson: And it just … I remember, it just started to change. It started to change. I started to watch my whole external realm change. And how it transformed was I started to see what I did want to have come into my life. More of these real, raw connections, these authentic connections that I could really enjoy, and have a great time with, and just be myself. And I think that is one of those obstacles where there’s a lot of lovely people out there sitting in their homes right now wondering if there are these type of people out there for them. And I know for a fact that the more that we get to know ourselves, to how we tick, what we like, what we enjoy, who are we, no apologies, this is just who I am. You know what? I really do like this. You know what? Actually I don’t like that. That’s so funny, I thought I like … It’s not bringing me happiness. It’s not bringing … Why am I doing this? Right? And I’m not saying that to make that change is easy.

Adam Hall: No.

Ragan Thomson: Not always easy.

Adam Hall: It’s certainly not. And I think to embrace our fearlessness and encourage … And thank you for sharing there. And it just feels very real and deep. And it’s so important for all of us to know this really indelible truth of the challenges of the journey and to also recognize even in our connection with others and in our working to break through beyond the separate self or the idea of everything seen separately is to always remember that it’s not about you. It just isn’t. And the main thing is for us to just be in the presence of who we are because that develops our skills.

Adam Hall: And if I could tell you just a little quick story about an obstacle, and about a place I came to in this place of feeling so separate, ostensibly having it all but ultimately feeling having nothing. That everything was really nothing in the oddest, most paradoxical way. And I’ll never forget. I went to a, well, a really nice holiday Christmas party. And there was a palm reader there. And I always … Oh, palm readers, and tarot cards, and feather people, and new agey stuff. And my wife at the time said, “Go, go. You got to go over there. You got to do this.” I said, “Okay, I’m going to go.” So she really … She said one thing to me and it landed super hard. It was separation. Separation, you’re living a life of separation.

Adam Hall: And it was so mysterious that I became really obsessed with the word. And well, I mean, I need to separate from my wife or do I need to separate from my work? What does this really mean? She only said enough to repeat my curiosity. But ultimately, what I recognized, and certainly this is relational, that I needed to know myself on a much deeper level because I had no idea what this idea of separation was in the first place. It was really a subject, me, object, everything else.

Adam Hall: Well, wait a second, we know today that there’s so much more to our journey. That our inner connected and our oneness with another. But then I had no clue and I felt that separation. And the idea here, and just to kinda make that long story short, is ultimately that catapulted me onto a path of making very difficult choices. And in some ways sabotaging the life that I was living, my marriage, my work, and all that came with it. But ultimately the calling of my soul to emerge into a deeper truth, that I needed to go into that dark night of the soul. And that did result in separation from my wife and even my family very painfully. And all the darkness that came with that, the pathologies of drinking and all the excess that came along with all that was a place to continue to hide away in burying my pain and the darkness that I was feeling in that journey. But ultimately, the decision was made that that’s too important to ignore this call and that if I did, I would’ve just been walking dead.

Adam Hall: And to all souls that are listening today, if you feel a bit alone and you feel like life is not bringing you to your highest joy, I can assure you that the moment has come to really embrace this greater love of who you are and to do so through the journey that you speak of is to know thyself. Because we’re beautiful in our hearts and our souls. And even in the midst of my pain and challenges, the journey to wholeness, to oneness, away from the separation was so worth it. And I would imagine you found the same from hearing your story.

Ragan Thomson: Yeah. Absolutely. Thank you so much for sharing all that. Just, I know, I can feel the level of transformation that came from you entering into that intense period of your life of really the dark night of a soul and I am married currently and have children, as whether or not my listeners know that. Some of you do. And that’s a … It’s a challenge in itself to just be married, and have children, then also have that … Leave your life for some time and transition out of that experience and just that pain that that causes. I’m just accentuating that because of those out there, our listeners who have dealt with divorce, who have dealt with losing their families because of divorce, and then turn to addictions and these ways of hiding and masking their pain. I certainly know about all that. I’ve done all of that. I don’t know what addiction I haven’t tried.

Adam Hall: That’s pretty good.

Ragan Thomson: I tried all of them. That didn’t work, that didn’t work, that didn’t work either. Hmm. Let me try this. So for those who have some sort of addiction they’re working with today, just like myself and Adam. Everything and anything can be worked with and healed. There is literally nothing that’s going on inside you that cannot be worked with and brought to the light. And that’s what I heard him say. And honestly, some of our deepest, darkest hours, if we wish to, we can turn those into our greatest teaching moments of helping us learn who we are. And I honestly think that those moments somewhat are for that. And I know that pain has been greatest teacher. I am looking to change that more and more over time. And I believe that we’re coming out of a time where that was the way it was. And I’m seeing that it will be changing over the course of the future. And until then, if you are experiencing pain right now, just know that there’s support available and nothing is too dark and too deep that it cannot be worked with.

Ragan Thomson: I am so happy that Adam came here today with me. I have gotten the opportunity right now to be sitting with him in this lovely room looking into his bright eyes and really it has been such a gift for me. And I’ll treasure this experience for my life.

Ragan Thomson: Thank you so much, Adam, for coming on today. I just want to give you an opportunity now to share any offerings that you might want to present to your listeners.

Adam Hall: Well, thank you for having me. It’s been an absolute joy to be in your presence and to share these most important moments during these most important times that we live in this planet. And yes, anybody would like to visit with me, feel free to check out my website Adam Hall at AdamHall.solution. AdamHall.solution. So you can find me there or you can find me on Facebook or Instagram. I’d love to hear from you. You can connect with me, you can see my work and some of the things I’m doing on my website at

Ragan Thomson: Nice.

Adam Hall: Thank you.

Ragan Thomson: Thank you.

Adam Hall: Blessings.

Ragan Thomson: Blessings.

Ragan Thomson: We’d also like to thank our sponsor for this episode, The Impact Hub at Santa Barbara. Impact Hub is a coworking space for change makers and entrepreneurs to collaborate, be inspired, and make an impact. Located in beautiful Downtown Santa Barbara with spaces on State Street, Chapala, and in the Funk Zone. Members have a multitude of resources at their fingertips, making it easy for them to focus on their purpose. Use the code, RAGAN, which is R-A-G-A-N 10, all in caps, to get a 10% discount on your first month of flex, part-time, or full-time membership. Offer valid through June of 2019.

Ragan Thomson: So if you enjoyed being with us on this podcast today, I would really love it if you joined me on my website. It’s and on my website you’ll find any upcoming events. If you prefer to get into an event, there is even a place that you can buy your tickets for the events as well as testimonials you can check out there, as well as audios and podcasts. This is all free on my website. I have been hearing repeatedly from people not only and locally and around the world that they’re getting a lot of benefit out of hearing the audios which are offering wonderful healing techniques for you to bring into your life. So I hope that you also join me and partake in these free offerings. As well as you can follow me on social media at Ragan_Thomson. That would be so wonderful!

Ragan Thomson: So thank you so much for listening to my podcast today. This has been such a treat to be with you all. And I hope this was beneficial for you. And I look forward to sharing more podcasts with you in the future. Thank you, blessings. Thank you.


Who Am I with Dale Halaway

Who Am I with Dale Halaway

What are the benefits of knowing who you are? What are the disadvantages of not knowing yourself? What do you know about you?


In this podcast episode, Ragan invites Dale Halaway to answer these questions and discuss the topic of discovering oneself. They explore the different ways to start the journey of inner-transformation, and guide you through the steps to achieve self-discovery.

Who am I with Dale Halaway

by Ragan Thomson

We hope you enjoy Ragan Thomson’s Free Monthly Podcast!


Make sure to subscribe at Apple Podcast or where ever you listen to Podcasts.

We would also love if you could review us on Apple Podcast, it really helps new people find the podcast and discover the Ragan Thomson Community.

What did you think of the episode?


Send us an email through our contact page on what you thought about Aprils “Who am I?” Podcast with Dale Halaway. We would love to hear your thoughts, feedback, and especially suggestions for upcoming guests Ragan should invite to talk with in the future!

Thank you and have a spectacular month,

-Ragan 💜

Free Gift as Mentioned in “From My Heart To Yours” Podcast

Audio Transcript

Below is an edited transcript for all of our bibliophiles and hearing impaired community members. We hope you enjoy!

RAGAN: Hello, hello, hello. My name is Ragan Thomson. Thank you so much for being here with me on this Podcast today. Today we’re going to explore the topic of who am I? This incredible question, this deep profound question. We’re going to take a deep wonderful soul dive into this question with my guest today, Dale Hallaway. This topic, this is incredible for me, in my life. It’s really I’m almost speechless honestly. The words don’t come to me because of how important this topic is. It is the premise of awakening to change and transform oneself. It’s to let go of what does not serve you and I think that that question is yes it’s the ultimate question, it’s the burning question. So many people as soon as I ask it, I just asked it a few times recently, they look at me like, “Can I be with that for a little while.” I understand if you’ve heard this question today.

RAGAN: Please to all my listeners that you are deeply in a state of reflection right now about your life and that is what it certainly takes to really take that deep dive into your own life and just take a look at yourself and be courageous and see where there might be some change that’s needed and to really move forward, like I said, with courage. Because it is required and is so exciting to see yourself transform in a way that is possible. To really lighten and brighten your life. I am so grateful to Dale. This is such a meaningful experience. I’ve been working with him, like I said as my teacher in my life for a few years. To have this experience where I am now sitting here is not done without a great deal of effort, and a great deal of my own courage my to let go what does not serve me. Some of that has been very difficult to let go of and here I am. Here I am sitting with Dale. I’m just really taking a moment to bring that in and feel excited about that, and not let myself feel that.

RAGAN: Because that is such a lesson for us all to truly feel what we feel and to give ourselves that credit and to give ourselves that time to really know the victories that we have in our life. I’m noting that for myself right now. I am truly grateful that he decides to say yes to come on to this podcast with me today. I do want to say before I continue something very important. There is some really beautiful free offerings at the end of this podcast today. Please do not to leave until the end so you can receive this free blessings. They are available to you so please stay on, so you can find out about what they are. Yup, it’s a surprise. I would really love to move into doing some grounding work together before I continue. I find that to be extremely important for whatever work I do. Because I feel it’s important for us to just get into space together and let go of whatever is going on in our day and get more centered, more calm, more relaxed in our spirit before I continue on.

RAGAN: Because I think what we have to say today is very… Can be very life changing for you as well as hopefully very helpful for you in your life. Let’s all take some deep breaths and that’s I’d like to move in to the ground we work together. I’d like for us all to begin by taking some slow and deep breaths. If you’re not seated, please take your seat right now. Thank you. Just reword rest your hands over your heart space. Good. Just taking those deep breaths, slow and deep breaths. In through your nose out through your mouth. Just beginning to get into more of a rhythmic breath with your breath. Breathing in through your nose out through your mouth. Starting to notice your breath, where you’re at with your breath today. Whether it’s flowing or its perhaps a little restricted. No matter what it is today, can you just relax into it. Just allow yourself to have whatever is going on with your breath, rather than trying to make it be something.

RAGAN: Here in a moment I’m going to take us into one, two, three count and we’ll move into a slow and deep breath in through the nose out through the mouth and on the out breath please make a sound. One, two and three. One, two, three. We’re going to do one more. One, two and three. Really let it go. Good. Thank you so much. Returning back just do a normal breath. Letting yourself just. Breathe normally Now just getting in recognition of whatever you might have going on within you. That might even be coming up now because of that breath. Any kind of emotional energy, any feelings that might be rising. Just take note of that. I’m letting it rise. Acknowledging the feelings and then just allowing yourself to be here. Thank you so much.

RAGAN: I have some questions for you all and I would love to ask you these questions and I just want to encourage you to take a moment with each question and really reflect upon each one as best you can just for the moment that we’re moving into for moment to moment here, hopefully this will be helpful for you throughout the podcast to keep in mind as we have our interview together, Dale and I and see how these questions might move you or inspire you or even possibly offer you some more wisdom in your life to help you further transform. I really do hope that these questions can help you as well as they’ve helped me in my life. As I have repeatedly asked them to myself over the years to also find more of myself, more of my true self, more love, more joy, more peace. These are some of the results of repeatedly asking these questions to myself so I hope they are helpful for you as well.

RAGAN: These questions I’m going to move into them now. Do you remember coming into this world feeling awake and knowing who you are? Was there ever a time you remembered who you were but then you somehow forgot. What do you know about you? Who are you? That is that ultimate burning question today. Who are you? Who am I? That’s pretty powerful. Just taking a moment with that question. What makes up the magnificent soul that is you? How do we begin the journey of either remembering for the first time who we are or remembering again who we are? What’s some of the reasons for feeling challenged by knowing who we are? What is the detriment of choosing not to know one’s self? What are the benefits of knowing who you are? What are those benefits. Those are some nice benefits. They does keep on coming. I can tell you it is not always easy to come to the benefits and it is very, very, extremely worth your time to do so. Let’s explore that together today with Dale.

RAGAN: My guest today is founder and director of Dale Hallaway International and Sage teaching. Dale has been influencing the lives and careers of thousands for almost 40 years. He’s one of the world’s leading authorities on personal and business transformation. Entrepreneurial success and real leadership development. Dale is an International speaker, author, master teacher success coach, strategic advisor and transformational authority. Dale is the best selling author of also a wonderful book called Being Called to Change. It’s really about helping you to let go of anything and everything that does not serve you in your life and really come in to your full potential. This is super cool. I’m excited to talk to him today and let him share more about that book with you to as well. Welcome everyone and we are exploring the topic of who am I and really diving, taking a deep soul dive in fact into this ultimate burning question of “who am I?”.

RAGAN: I know for me it’s been a big journey to discover who I am. It’s been a tremendous journey and not always an easy journey and I know I’m still on it and I’m doing my very best to continue to let go of anything that is not me so that I can truly be the me that I came here to be. I’d like to speak with Dale about this today and really let him begin by sharing a little about himself and what it’s been like for you in your life to start to explore that question.

Dale Hallaway: Well that’s a great question. My gosh. We might need a couple of days.

RAGAN: I know.

Dale Hallaway: To answer it. But we’ll do our best here at least in the next few minutes to see if we can get some gold nuggets or assure some gold nuggets that would be helpful for people that are listening here today. Like everybody, I came into this world with certain amount of remembrance of who I am and where I’ve come from and why I’m here and shortly thereafter meaning my arrival here, I began to drop into a state of amnesia. And began the process like pretty much everybody has done where we forget who we are, we forget why we’re here and so on. That then took me on a journey for the next we’ll say 25 years or so and where my life started to become a little on the louder side with regard to health issues and other different issues that were showing up in my life and the problem was back then is at this point I have forgotten who I was. I didn’t know who I was. Which really in a lot of parts of my life at that juncture I was trying to be something that I wasn’t.

Dale Hallaway: I have discovered since that time of having done all the work I’ve done with different people around the world, is that most people struggle with this. Once they forget who they are, once they drop into their own state of amnesia, then it’s about trying to be something that more than likely they’re not to be. Trying to be someone else that they really aren’t. Then at some point when you do that long enough your life just doesn’t work as well as it could be working. The beauty here is our life serves us as a gauge on your dashboard of your automobile. It let us know how well we’re doing with regard to how well do we know ourself. How deep do we know ourself? What kind of a relationship are we in currently with ourselves. All of this becomes very important once that question comes upon your life or comes upon your heart around okay, who am I? Do I know. Who am I is a question that dates back tens of thousands of years ago with the earlier master teachers who found themselves asking the exact same question.

Dale Hallaway: In many cases they would ask this question in some … Like a couple of decades. The reason why is because the question begets an answer and then if you do a little bit of work after you get the answer little, a little bit of inner work that is, and you ask the exact same question, who am I? There’s a likelihood you’re to get a different answer yet again, as you know. In this process just goes. It’s on going. If you turn it into a lifestyle which obviously is something that we recommend you do, you turn this into a lifestyle and this puts you on this path of constant self discovery. Where you’re discovering more of who it is you really are, partly by a coming to realize who it is you’re not. You’re out there in the world and you put on a hat, you put on a mask, you think that’s who you are. You start to convince others that’s who you are.

Dale Hallaway: You even start to convince yourself that’s who you are. When you start to look at your life and the results are manifest in your life at some point you possibly either recognize this in a way where your conscious enough and you say, “Something is not right here, something is missing. There’s a disconnect here.” Because I keep on landing in the same place doesn’t make any sense to me. Or the other thing that happens is pain P-A-I-N. Where something happens in our life that becomes painful and then if we don’t get it there then sometimes it happens again and it becomes even more painful. All designed in a way to help us get to this answer around this question who am I for real. Around that then there’s a couple areas to look at. There’s the practical area, who am I? Then there’s the more spiritual area, the more etheric area, who are you? Who are you beyond just this physical form? Do you know who you really are? And have you dropped into a deeper state of knowledge? As an inner knowledge, inner wisdom and as to who it is that you really are.

Dale Hallaway: Because that’s what produces the confidence as you do. Again another gauge on your dashboard as you become confident and not the type of cocky kind of confidence, the confidence that just sits in yourselves. It’s easy for you to relax into it. Now when you asked the question who am I? And you get the answer back so to speak, there’s this relaxing into your body, there is this becoming very comfortable in your own skin with that answer because now you know you’re no longer trying to be someone. Rather you’re now becoming that someone. It’s a really significant piece along our journey in uncovering who it is we are going through this process of reawakening, coming out of this state of amnesia and waking ourselves up or being woken up. Sometimes as you know we talk about the significance of somebody showing up in our world that becomes very powerful, a powerful force in our world for the good that is. Their significance is such where they literally are there to help wake us up.

Dale Hallaway: Next thing you know we start to wake up to this answer or to these answers that come over time to this same question. This constant question that runs for a consciousness like a thread, who am I? So now who am I today? Who am I a year from now? Who I’m I 5 years from now, when we’re truly growing evolving, being woken up again. This answer is constantly changing until eventually we get to the deepest answer in answering that question, who am I?

RAGAN: You know I just was really hearing also this key point that you were saying from the beginning of when you spoke and shared, you were really diving into how there is some of us going asleep and then waking up again. So many of us have done that and I think that’s a big issue in the planet that don’t realize that even happened. They don’t realize that maybe they came in a little more awake and then they went to sleep and then they woke up again or they’re working to wake up again, at least, right? That’s the goal or maybe they’re not even aware of that being a goal for them yet. I think when it comes to that, it’s so important to educate people around that. Because I know for myself I certainly came in very awake. I came in very bright. My mom mentioned I was smiling as a newborn. The doctors were saying I’ve never seen a newborn smile. I clearly came in, I felt like I wanted to be here, was ready to be here again and I was excited to be with whatever family that I landed in.

RAGAN: I think that is what happens for many children. They come in with this bright eyed, bushy tailed, ready to come in and then they end up maybe in an environment or a family where it doesn’t really cater to them staying awake. I myself being the parent of four children I have a mission to keep them awake, right? I’m just sharing that because in reference to watching them, this has been one of my greater … They’re my greatest teachers in some way. Because I’m watching myself as a parent watching them expand and become who they truly are and what I thought that was or what I wanted it to be I had to take off the table. Most of us as children we didn’t receive that. We received we want you to be this way, this is what I approve of. This is approvable to me as a parent. Not a conscious parenting. I need you to earn my love, I need you to prove yourself. At least that’s the message that we heard. Whether or not they were saying that specifically but it wasn’t this feeling of unconditionally feeling loved.

RAGAN: Therefore it lends to this feeling of I’m not enough, I’m not worthy and I need to prove myself and I need to earn love. Therefore that could be just some of the ways that we start to fall asleep. I share that because it’s such a big deal going on the planet right now. Worth issues and not feeling good enough and there lies this forgetting of who we are and lens to this in authentic life. We’re trying to figure out how can I get loved, how can I get liked? If I have to change myself and become whatever I need to be so that someone will like and love me then I’ll do that. Because I am so desperate. I’m so desperate to feel liked and loved that I’ll literally forget myself completely and begin to fall asleep. As I did age 15 was the age I remember that I turned the lights off per se. Since then I’ve been attempting to fully wake myself up again. To really express to all of you who are listening that you too no matter what has happened to you, no matter how much pain that you’ve experienced just like Dale is describing P-A-I-N, pain.

RAGAN: You too can wake up again and it does take time and it does take work and with good help I think and assistance and a strategy and structure, having a good teacher, I know that that’s what you are to me. This is what Dale is for me. He’s an extraordinary teacher that’s been in my life. Someone that’s gone further ahead of you so that you can begin this journey if not you haven’t already began it but that you are on that journey to accelerate that path and to not try to think that you have to do it on your own. Whereas it in today’s humanity, what’s happening on the planet, there’s so much more assistance, there’s so much more available resources to get the help you need to do exactly that to wake up, to remember who you are. My next question or you then is in reference to this process of awakening. What would you say would be the number one issue that’s going on in the planet right now that is stopping those who are on that journey, they just get stuck. Why are they getting stuck? Because I’m hearing that a lot right now.

Dale Hallaway: Well-

RAGAN: They’re on their way and then there’s that.

Dale Hallaway: Well it’s like anything in life. Until you get momentum you can not achieve critical mass along your path of trajectory to wherever it is you’re going. What happens when you begin that process of being woken up or awakening yourself that you’re not out of the woods yet. You’re just simply in that process, you’re beginning. If you think back even in your own life Ragan where when you said at the age of 15 is when you really took the fall, meaning fell into your own state of amnesia. Then from 15, you didn’t really start to wake up right away, you are now asleep. Not only were you sleep you didn’t know you were asleep. Not only did you not know you were asleep, but there were something else now going on and that is now everything has been set. Everything’s been seeded and now you’re going to start experiencing life in a way that’s going to turn out to be painful. That’s going to go on for … For you, you already know how long that went on for.

Dale Hallaway: For some people it goes on for a long time. Because now they’re in this slumber and because they’re in this state they don’t know that they have fallen asleep and so therefore they stay in there and now they’re struggling. Only they maybe don’t even know they’re struggling trying to be something that they’re not going to be. There’s now a disconnect between how they’re living their life and who they really are. This idea of getting stuck is just … It’s high up on the charts. It’s part of the challenge and that you are … We all are navigating through until such time that you achieve a certain amount of momentum. Momentum means you’ve got energy behind you that’s now supporting you to continue on moving forward on the journey that you’re now on of being woken up. Because the significance of that is because that then leads you to the next step which is achieving a state of critical mass.

Dale Hallaway: Critical mass is you pass that point of no return. There’s no way you can go back to sleep again. No matter how hard you try, no matter what now happens, once you have fallen asleep, once you’ve been reawoken and you’re far enough along your pathway you can no longer fall back asleep. For you have now passed that point of no return. What happens between the time that you’re being woken up and to the time where you pass that point of no return, this is the dynamic or the area, the phase in which people often we all have. I know I sure did way back when. You get stuck and then you maybe sit there for a while. Now when your stuck you’re probably going to notice a couple things. You don’t have a teacher in your life or we could say maybe have a teacher but not the right teacher to really hone in on it. Or maybe don’t have the right program. The program that’s well structured enough to support you in your journey of waking up or transforming yourself. Maybe you’re lacking in that area or maybe you have a program but again it’s not the right program for you in light of what would work best for you.

Dale Hallaway: If you don’t have that going for you and now you’re stuck, well now you’re kind of an island all to your own. To try to figure this thing out when you’re stuck. Now that would be the easiest way of getting unstuck. Is recognized that I either don’t have the teacher I don’t have the programmer or I do have a program but it’s not the right program or the right teacher. Then you go you can correct that. The other part is when you are stuck so to speak, your life begins to reflect that back to you. As it’s reflected back to you you’ll start to feel like you’re either in quicksand you’ll start to feel like doors are closing on you. You’ll start to maybe even feel depressed. You’ll maybe start to feel less motivated to do different things that two years ago you had no problem being motivated to do but all of a sudden now you’re struggling.

Dale Hallaway: These are all signs that are showing that something is off and that you do require some level of support. If you don’t access it that way then there’s that again P-A-I-N that pain somehow someway life will partner up with us and life will co-create some kind of and experience in our life that will become even more painful. Now please understand when this happens that pain, it’s one of the things I say in the book. I talk about pain, pain for most people is their greatest teacher because they haven’t gotten this point yet of having the right teacher in their life that could maybe help to smooth things out a little bit. There’s stuff do their own work, there’s stuff to learn their own lessons, there’s stuff to do all that but it just makes it a little easier when you have somebody that’s going ahead of you a little bit to shine that flashlights so to speak. To let you know maybe go low here, go over here, go up here. That type of thing and also to have that kind of support can make a huge difference as you know.

Dale Hallaway: What happens here is that person say doesn’t have any of that in place, so now life comes in and supports them in a way by helping to teach them. To show them through this act of pain where something happens in their life and all of a sudden they end up in financial pain, they end up in relationship pain, they end up in physical pain, there’s maybe a health issue or business pain, career pain. There’s all different levels of pain that can show up in our life. More than likely if this is how we’re going to learn, it’s going to go into an area that we most value. Whatever that is. If we really value our finances more than anything else, that’s probably where it’s going. If we really value our relationships that’s probably where it’s going. If we really value our physical energy as in our physical health, that’s probably where it’s going.

Dale Hallaway: You get the idea from there. This is a big thing because we’ve been plagued with this on the planet as a humanity for thousands of years and now the good news is we do have more beings on the planet in current time as in right now that are truly doing their inner work. They really have stepped up to the plate and accepted this personal responsibility for their own transformation for their own awakening for their own evolution like no other time in history, it really is something that we could all be excited about. Because of that that brings us back to what I was talking about that momentum. As a humanity now because we have more than ever before on the planet that are now doing this, are finding their way with the help of usually someone else in their corner. Because this is happening we’re starting to strike a place of momentum now. What does that mean for all of humanity, the rest of humanity is going to be able to access this.

Dale Hallaway: They’re going to be able to ride off of this extra energy that’s being created. That’s being accumulated as a result of more of us not just being in our journey but more of us are moving the needle forward when it comes to truly be in woken up to who we really are. All that we already are.

RAGAN: That’s super powerful. I got really excited about what you’re saying because I think at the end of the day many of us are struggling with feeling that we’re not a part of this bigger hole that’s going on. A lot of loneliness going on in the planet really. A lot of people feeling very alone. When I heard you I just really got excited about this … The microcosm versus macrocosm experience, where we’re actually going to move more into this truly feeling unified as one. So that’s happening. I heard that and then I also want to reflect on this, just time period as we were talking about when I had to have the pain that was inflicted upon myself after I fell asleep. I think so many of us have had that time period in this life where once we fell asleep we experience a time period where there was pain that we’re experiencing, all types of ways. Not only inflicted upon ourselves but it appeared other things happened to us.

RAGAN: It’s really interesting when we dive into this topic because it takes us into this deeper reality which is that life wasn’t happening to us. That we were creating our life the entire time. It takes away this a victim mentality. That you know I’m a victim and life is just hard. I think that when we do the work we’re doing right now together I hope this inspires others to feel that if that was not created by the world and the world’s not against them that they can step into this new way of thinking and being. Which is that then they can change it. They have the power to change it. They hold the key to, we all hold the key to changing our reality. Changing and creating what we want to going forward. Again if we were able to create the pain them we certainly can create the healing. We are powerful beings that can do either or. I laugh about my willpower because we’ve been talking about this together and I have so much willpower and I’m very powerful. I have access to a lot of power and I came in with a lot of power.

RAGAN: That can be used in whatever direction I want to take it. For many of us to start accessing the true divine nature of our being which is what’s within us, what’s true, what’s real, what’s God and then to utilize that for the good. Stepping into I say this in my prayers and I will continue to say this in my prayers. Which is everything we wish to have, everything we seek everything we desire it’s already within us. This idea that we have to go searching, we have to try to find it. Yes there is action steps to take to discover who we are. Like you’re saying your results do not lie. You’ll see that through the manifestation, what’s happening outside of you. Before creating those results, started to steepen in this truth. The truth which is that you already are everything that you seek. You already are all that. There is no lack, there is no limitation.

RAGAN: Our story, our old story will tell us, no that’s not true. Look at the pain that’s been inflicted upon you, look at your parents, look at what you went through, look at the trauma, look at the challenges. Life is not serving you. This has been happening to you. You did not create this. That’s the ego, it’s this trap, this trickery that we experience. The truth is we can absolute transcend that any time we want, it’s just easier said than done, so I’m also going to reflect on what you were saying in for reference to having the right teacher or the right program. To help you move through that trickery and those traps that are consistently being laid. As they say the ego who you’ve given an inch they’ll take a mile and so many of us are getting trapped inside the ego. Before we end the podcast today, I’d like for you just to take a short dive into the ego and how it’s causing the havoc that it is in our lives and attempting to stifle us from expanding, from becoming who we truly are.

RAGAN: As this mechanism that’s not to be judged as wrong or bad simply doing its job which I like to say that it’s in place to help us master love like a little game that were playing. That hopefully by the end of his life we’ve moved through all the different facets of that game and mastered it and learned to master love. How do you feel about what I’m sharing?

Dale Hallaway: Well, you said a lot of wonderful things there and very true things. The ego likes to get us to believe if it can, that life is doing something to us. From the egos respective that is true. Life is doing something to us but from the soul’s perspective which is also inside of you and the soul knows that life is doing everything for us. That there’s a pattern of perfection that is encoded in the energy or in the DNA of the soul. In the so called DNA of the ego, the ego operates more with in the lower rung. It does mean to say that it’s bad, it just operates in a lower energy field. In that lower energy field, it attempts to get us to believe in things that are alternately going to limit us because if it can get us to believe that we are limited then we disconnect or shall I say we further disconnect from our source. Our source being who it is we really are. What it is we really are. All that it is that we really are. Once it succeeds in that endeavor, and in light of the conversation here today in a Podcast around this idea of falling asleep, once we fall asleep from that point on, the Eagle pretty much has full reign.

Dale Hallaway: It influences us, it influences our choices. The Ego doesn’t make choices, we make choices under the influence of the ego or the soul. In most cases when you’re falling asleep it’s probably going to need more under the ego. The ego is designed to keep us safe. The ego is designed to make sure we don’t move forward because forward movement is always risky, meaning that you might get hurt. There might be pain there so the ego is always on the lookout to cents if there’s any danger ahead. The type of danger that’s going to cause us pain. It’s clearly one of the reasons as to why why we resist change. Because change is never comfortable. Ever. Change is always uncomfortable. Just think of the last time you moved your house or moved your belongings in your house or your office from one place to another place. There’s nothing really comfortable about it.

Dale Hallaway: It’s uncomfortable and if you can learn how to make peace with that then the move can go a little smoother. If you haven’t made peace with that, your move is probably going to be pretty choppy and pretty rough, because you’re in a fight with this thing called a move. The ego, that’s what the ego does. If the ego can get us to do things like fight with life then it causes a distraction, a distraction from what? A distraction from maybe waking up. A distraction maybe from doing some good equality inner work which then leads to more waking up or reestablishing a connection with that of your soul. Your true self. Again this part of you that is real. Then lastly I would say there’s so much we could say about the ego office late as well as we can say a lot about the soul or the true self. The ego what I’ll say here in the context of our time together is that the ego is like a tricky little devil. It’s got so many tricks that it learns along the way and it toughs them up it sleeve. Whenever it’s appropriate to stop the person in their tracks from moving forward, it’ll always be the same thing from moving forward.

Dale Hallaway: Expanding their life, moving into new territory in their life. Choosing to no longer play it small but rather now start to play it larger. Play it bigger. Whatever it is. Anything to do with forward movement. It’ll throw other trick out at sleeve on the table and see if it can trick you. If it can trick you then it can trick you. As I often say. If you can be tricked then get used to it because you’re about to be tricked again. Because you can still be tricked. It could be because you’re under that belief that life is doing things to you versus seeing life from a higher perspective that just maybe life is doing it for you. Life is there maybe that help you, to support you, to empower you, to help awaken you back to your truth in terms of who you are. Who you are is already in play. It’s already here. However what’s happened is a lot of us are disconnected. We are in a wound of separation. Somewhere along the way when we took that fall and fell asleep there was a painful experience that was traumatic.

Dale Hallaway: In that trauma there was a separation that took place. Separation from what? Separation from our true self. Most of us when we are born, we were born in at least with a clear aspect of our true self. Somewhere from the time we were born this includes our parents as well and their parents. This has been going on for thousands of years. Somewhere shortly after they’re born is when they take this fall. As we’ve been talking about here today. When they take this fall and they fall asleep this disconnect, this pain that starts and is the pain of separating from who we are. From that point on then we try to be something based on whatever our beliefs are, based on whatever their opinions are of other people around us, those that are really significant. What others think we should be, that sometimes we take that stuff on but they might be off.

Dale Hallaway: In fact in most cases they are off, because they don’t really know what’s going on inside of us. But we take it on as if its the truth and next thing you know we’re going down a path where we’re trying to be something again that we’re never going to ultimately be. But not only are we going down that path, where we’re never going to be that ultimately but something on a much deeper level is going on. We’re moving further and further away from who we. That’s what causes the unnecessary problems. That’s what causes the muck in life if you will. The mud, the thickness, the heaviness. It’s that separation from who we are. When somebody comes into our lives and says it’s very simple you already know you are and you already have everything you need. Well, that is true but what might not be acknowledged in that moment is there’s a major disconnect going on between where you’re at and how you’re living your life right now and who it is you really are, that’s not lacking anything

Dale Hallaway: If there’s any truth to what I just said in your life that there is that disconnect than that disconnect will costly produce a pain in our life. Somehow someway that pain will get manifested, it must get manifested there’s actually a universal law that governs this until of course we become aware of what that is and we learn how to realign properly with that and begin on that pathway of once again being woken up and then eventually starting to connect again, reestablish that connection again to who we are, by usually establishing a connection to an aspect of who we are and that we bring that in, we start to embody that, then we do it again and we do it again and we do it again. Over time we start to find ourselves, we’re really now connected with ourselves. More importantly we are now becoming ourselves as in our true selves.

Dale Hallaway: We’ll know when we’re there, and we’ll know when we strike that place because at that point the ego will have calmed down, the ego will no longer have the same level of influence over us, as it used to have. Partly because the ego now has been trained. The ego has been taught to come along with you because alternately when we become our full on true self a significant part of what happens with the ego, the ego then is transcended. It doesn’t die. Even though it’s going to feel like a death, but it gets transcended, it gets integrated into who you are. Everything that’s good about the ego, everything that the ego has learned believe it or not it gets transcended. Now you as a true self, not only are you your true self again but your true self has just become wiser.

RAGAN: There lies the next piece and the final piece maybe which is kind of leading into more of what your book is about. Being called to change. Which is when I’m hearing is in order to become who we truly are there is this inevitable process if we did what we have said today that maybe we did move into a state of amnesia and fall asleep. That there was a lot of things along our journey that we possibly picked up that is not us. Right? Ways of being even possibly going to school for something that we don’t even want to be doing. Getting a masters in psychology meanwhile you might be an actress. It’s just like, “My God I’m an artist. Wait a minute. Now ima doctor, how did this happen?” I know this well, I was [inaudible 00:42:49] traveling the country, thought I was supposed to be an athlete. That turned out to be a part of who I am that taught me some really amazing lessons about life, not who I am. Although my identity was wrapped up in this idea that I’m a tennis player. I am a female, I am that. I’m these things.

RAGAN: My identity is this. This is who I am. In fact, now I’m going to make everyone love me for that. Letting go of that led to many … Many athletes in fact, this experience of letting go of this sport. It’s just an ultimate crisis of not knowing who they are and feeling extremely lost because their entire identity has been based on something that is not really who they are. It’s something they did and not to be their whole identity. This letting go of what does not serve us is what I’m leading into. That in order to do that, to be fearless about change. I don’t believe that you start fearlessly, you start making these changes incrementally and going, “Yeah I made that change, I did that with courage and look what it did for my life.” It’s kind of this process of making that first change or making that next change and just saying, “wow, look how my life is transforming.

RAGAN: I love your book for that reason because it really dives into change and how to do that and the traps and the trickery that can lead to you being stifled and moving forward and changing your life and moving towards letting go of things that you might quite possibly be really, really wanting to hang on to. Because supposedly it’s offering you peace or safety or really I think this idea of embracing what’s uncomfortable is scary, so we just rather live in the uncomfortable rather than be courageous and let go. The book really dives into that and it’s huge because as much as I thought earlier in my life that I was really really great a changing and transforming. Because I talk about it, I am that. I love transformation, there have been certain things that I’ve had a very challenging time changing because there is this part of myself that’s like, “No, you are that. Don’t let go of that. That means that you let go of you.” I was like, “No, that’s not true.”

RAGAN: That’s what the message is. That’s the message that the ego is sharing with you. In reference to that, my final question for you is if there was something you could offer to the listeners today in reference to change. A beautiful, maybe inspiring message moving forward around change and how that is effective and helpful in people’s lives, what would that be?

Dale Hallaway: A great question Ragan. When it comes to change it’s really important to have a reason as to why we’re changing. It’s like when you’re moving again your home from one location to another location you have a reason for doing so. If you didn’t have a reason, you were just doing it all for him you might do it once or twice but after a while they get really old because it doesn’t really result in anything that would be new. We move because of a change. In whatever part of our life. We live in a society that for the most part up until most recently has resisted change like the plague. Like somehow change is the most awful scariest most challenging thing on planet earth. Yet when you really look at it, there’s actually a group of universal laws. One of them is the law of change or the law of transformation change. It’s very specific where it says change is a constant. In our natural state of being, we are all to be changing. Our evolution is completely dependent upon our ability both individually and collectively to actually embrace change.

Dale Hallaway: What we’ve been doing as a race for the most part up until most recently is resisting it. Resisting it with a lot of our energy. In fact with people that as you said you’ve been to a lot of different seminars. You see this from seminar to seminar. Some people are just so exhausted, they’re only 35 years of age. Then we come to find out that they’ve been resisting their own changes and as I often say, is resistance is tiring business. When you’re in a state of resistance whether you’re consciously aware of it or not it is tiring because it takes energy to resist something that you’re really to be stepping in to. It really comes down to are you resisting change in your life from happening because of whatever your reason is. Which usually traces to all the way to fear or down into the root of fear. Then you got to be specific with what kind of fear is that. As in the fear of you’re afraid you’re going to be rejected, you’re afraid you’re going to be betrayed.

Dale Hallaway: You’re afraid you’re going to be taken advantage of, you’re afraid you’re going to succeed and what’s everybody going to think of you if you start to succeed. You might surpass them. I just goes on and on and on. What happens here is when we are resisting change, then whatever it is we’re resisting it gets louder in our life. That’s where that pain comes into play. If we reverse that and we actually learn and choose courageously to start embracing change. To literally recognize when it’s knocking on your door and your life for your soul or the universe or God is saying time to change, knock, knock, knock here’s change. To be able to recognize it and obviously in recognizing it, it’s probably not going to feel very comfortable, might be a little scary, you might catch yourself trying to create a distraction under the influence of your ego to stop yourself from really stepping into the embracing of this change, therefore to be met by resistance.

Dale Hallaway: What we want to learn how to do is recognize when we’re resisting, learn how to let go of that resistance and replace it with a conscious intentional act to embrace the very thing we’ve been resisting. To embrace it. To step into it and really embrace it. Take a deep and yet slow breath and just go into it. The moment you do this, whatever that energy is that’s been kind of locked up or sometimes where you might even be stuck in it, it starts to move. It just starts to move. Think of anything in your life. Think of something you’ve been resisting. You’ve been resisting making this move to whatever. Resisting, resisting, you’re getting more tired, you’re feeling heavier about whatever that is. Then at some point you make the decision, however you get there, I’m just going to do it. Then once you decide and you start with that first action step, all of a sudden it starts still lift. That’s the energy, is starting to lift because now you’re honoring that change. Lastly I would say to this, again coming back to there’s a reason for everything.

Dale Hallaway: When it comes time for us to change, there’s always a reason behind the change. In this case when it comes to our life, the reason is we are to be growing into our full potential. Our full potential in light of the theme of today’s show. Talking about amnesia, being woken up from it. Really waking up, really embracing that process. That ongoing process over time. This is all about stepping into your potential. You as in your true self has a rich pocket a potential just waiting to be realized. It’s waiting to be embraced, it’s waiting to be embodied, but it can’t be embodied if you’re still resisting. You see. But how do you do that? How do you grow in your full potential? How do you start to realize your full potential? You’ve got to be able to identified the very thing that you’re hanging on to, the very thing that you’ve been resisting the most and choose to show up differently around whatever that thing is. The difference would be is I recognize I’ve been resisting this, why have I been resisting this?

Dale Hallaway: I’m afraid. Afraid of what? Narrow it down, break it down a little further. Then say you know what, I’ve been resisting as for X number of months, X number of years. This day I’m going to change. I’m going to change by embracing whatever this is and more specifically no matter what I’m going to learn and I’m going to choose how to let this go. However long it takes. Because it’s through letting that go that’s the doorway into stepping more into your unrealized potential.

RAGAN: Thank you. Thank you very much. I love you, I’m so grateful. You are a divine beautiful radiant being. I’m just, I feel very honored and blessed to have you in my life and for having you here today with me.

Dale Hallaway: Ragan, this is such a pleasure to be here with you today. I am so proud of you. We’ve traveled quite a journey together to this point in time and in these as you said a few years or a lot of years I would maybe even say, because we’ve been together for quite a while now and to see even just this as a manifestation. Your own show. I am just delighted, so delighted and so happy for you. I know I say this often to you but it turns out that I love you more.

RAGAN: I’m not going to dive into this one. I’ve decided he wins. Because his capacity to love himself is enormous so I’ll just let him win on that one.

Dale Hallaway: Yes, thank you.

RAGAN: Thank you so much.

Dale Hallaway: My pleasure, my pleasure.

RAGAN: Thank you. Now we’re at that place we’re going to be talking about the free offering we spoke of at the beginning. It is a phenomenal offering from Dale, he has a wonderful book as we are speaking of called Being Called to Change and the offering is he’s going to be giving a free sample of the book as well as the audio version of the book. Here in a moment he’s going to tell you more about that and where to get it. I will let you know where to get it. Here we are. Dale is going to speak about that.

Dale Hallaway: Yeah, I’d be happy to. The book is adjust … It’s done so well since it’s first release a little more than a year ago. It became a best seller in less than 48 hours. Since then has sold out three different times. It’s just done really well and we constantly get letters and responses and emails and people for the most part find the book very beneficial in their life or it’s supported them somehow, some way. In fact, probably the most common comment we’ve gotten is the book, the message of the book has come at the perfect time for them. In terms of supporting them along their journey wherever they’re at. What we’ve chosen to do since the book release more than a year ago is a have a free offering around the book. So that people that are new to this or people that are new to the book period. Can come in and just check it out and benefit from it.

Dale Hallaway: What we’ve done is we’ve got a real nice sample of a book that we put together. We’ve also got the audio book. The audio book went live just last month on Amazon and it’s doing really well. We’ve also got a sample of the audio book for those of you that like to listen to audio in your car while you’re driving around town. Leaving your home, going to your office in the morning and turning your car into a university on wheels if you will. You can listen to a part of the book via the audio book in your car if you like. We also went ahead and put together another package in there and this is all free by the way. This as all our gift to you. Once you go to the website that Reagan you can talk about, where to access this and you get signed up. It’s very simple. All you do is you go get signed up. Your name, your email address. I think that’s all we ask for. Maybe there’s one more thing in there. I don’t even remember exactly what it is but it’s very simple.

Dale Hallaway: Right away you get access to what I just mentioned. Then over the next couple of days you get some more free stuff. Of different lessons are teachings that we share via an audio program to anybody that takes us up on our invite to take advantage of this for absolute free. Then at that point if you decide that you know what, I do like this book or I like this audiobook or I want to go even deeper into it then we will point you in the right direction on where to go to do all of that as well.

RAGAN: Wow, thank you for that generous offer. Take it up.

Dale Hallaway: Yes, take it up. Exactly.

RAGAN: Wow, it’s so beautiful. Well, this is so exciting. Now to get that free offering please go to On my website you’ll find up menu bar, please go to the menu and go to Podcast. Click it and go to the link. The link will be there, it’ll be easy to find and you can put your information and receive these phenomenal free offerings. We all love free stuff, I say yes to that. Great, thank you so much Dale. This is awesome. This is so nice. This has been fun. We’d also like to thank our sponsor for this episode. The Impact Hub in Santa Barbara. Impact Hub is a co-working space for change makers and entrepreneurs to collaborate, be inspired and make an impact. Located in beautiful downtown Santa Barbara with spaces on state street Chapala and in the funk zone, members have a multitude of resources at their fingertips. Making easy for them to focus on their purpose. Use the code Ragan, which is R-A-G-A-N 10, to get a 10% discount on your first month of flex. Part time or full time membership.

RAGAN: Offer valid through May of 2019. Please if you will, I would love if you would go to and just check out my website. On my website you will find some really lovely effective healing, actually audios that I offer you that are free and they’re available to you right now. I’ve done quite a few and I’ve heard some really great feedback about how they’re helping people in their lives tremendously in fact. Some really wonderful feedback, so please go to the website to enjoy those. They are free to you as well as my Podcast are also there including this one will be there. You can listen to the ones that I have already offered to you which are also free to listen to. Please follow me on social media at ragan_thompson. Thank you so much. All right blessings.

RAGAN: All right. We’re going to move into closing prayer together. I’d like us all to close our eyes please. Just take a couple slow and deep breaths. One more. Please if you don’t already have your hands placed over you heart, of that feels good to you do so. Please sit down if you’re not already seated. Thank you so much. Moving into prayer. I thank you, I thank you, I thank you so very much. Mother, father, God, goddess. For this beautiful divine last day. This beautiful experience right now in this space and place that I’m having here with Dale Hallaway. Dale Hallaway. I am so grateful for the many, many blessings that has come into my life because of the work that has occurred within myself. Within my being of coming into a greater place of transforming and letting go of what does not serve me. This is what. This is what I ask for every human being on this planet.

RAGAN: That we all begin this journey of awakening, to remember who we truly are. To know thyself as to love thyself. I ask you mother, father, God, Goddess, please I ask you to give courage and strength to all those who are also on this path of awakening. That they know like I have come to know more of the truth of who they are and letting go of all that they are not. Please I ask you to send forth courage and light and strength and bravery as we move forward. Not only within our own individual consciousness but within the entire consciousness of the collective on this planet. I ask you mother, father, God, Goddess please help us to know more of the many beautiful facets of ourselves and to see what is not us and have the courage to just simply say goodbye to it. So that we can move into a greater space of more energy, more vitality, more peace, more love, more joy, more beauty, more bliss, more faith, more compassion, more gratitude, more abundance, more prosperity.

RAGAN: Everything and anything that is available to all of us. That in some way along the way we forgot this. There is no lack, there is no limitation, other than ourselves. That we remember this, so as we walk forward we know that life is not happening to us. We are creating our lives. I ask you please for divine assistance of all angels, guides and masters of mind. Right now to not only assist myself but anyone who is also on this podcast today hearing this prayer. To assist them as well, as well as their angels and guides and masters to come forward to help and assist them. Calling for this divine party of beings to help us move forward, to help us let go, to become our true divine soul selves. So that we can be not only of great service to yourself, to truly awaken yourself as this gift that gives us. This gift of awakening that is contagious to others.

RAGAN: They feel us, they see us, they’re inspired by us. We help them by helping ourselves. We become who we are which inspires them to know that they too can become who they truly are. We are not only a gift to ourselves, we are a gift to all those around us. Let this be the inspiration to do this work. Those that we care about, those that we love they also received this gift. I call forward the greatest and highest amount of love and compassion to be available for each one of us right now in this moment. So that if there is anything that is already ready to be moving in your life, changing your life that is ready to come up and out, that this love and compassion act as the two grand vehicles to move out the energy with as much ease grace and love as possible. Thank you so much for this assistance. Taking a deep breath.

RAGAN: Calling for that because of this time together during this podcast that only, only the greatest and highest good occurs for each one of us. In all those concerned in our lives that we care about. Let this work. This information, this knowledge, this wisdom. It seeps into every cell of our bodies. It permeates to all those that we deeply love. That is the gift of this time and this prayer. Thank you so much and with these words I say and so it is. Thank you so much.


Align With Your True Self with Nancy O’Reilly

Align With Your True Self with Nancy O’Reilly

This is my second full-length podcast!

Ragan’s mother, Doctor Nancy O’Reilly,  drops in for a meaningful conversation about the harmonization of the masculine and the feminine.

Dr. Nancy O’Reilly is an international philanthropist, skilled horsewoman, and trailblazer for women’s empowerment who believes women supporting women does change the world. A successful author and educator, she recently completed a new book:

“In This Together: How Successful Women Support Each Other in Business and Life”

available for purchase on Amazon.

Align with Your True Self and Express Your Divine Essence with Dr. Nancy O'Reilly

by Ragan Thomson

We hope you enjoy Ragan Thomson’s Free Monthly Podcast!


It would mean a lot to us if you joined our amazing community through our social media pages or by email subscription (available in the right sidebar or below on mobile). 

What did you think of the episode?! Send us an email through our contact page on what you thought about February’s “Align With Your True Self” Podcast. We would love to hear your thoughts, feedback, and especially suggestions for upcoming guests Ragan should invite to talk with in the future! 

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Thank you and have a spectacular month,

-Ragan 💜

Audio Transcript

Below is an edited transcript for all of our bibliophiles and hearing impaired community members. We hope you enjoy!

RAGAN: Hello, hello, hello (Ragan laughing). All right. Thanks, Mom. I can’t be normal now. Of course, this is what happens when your mom comes in. All right, shh, everyone.

Hello, hello, hello, everyone. This is Ragan Thomson. I’m so happy to be joining you all today on this lovely podcast, exploring a topic that I’m really excited to share with you today, as well as bringing in my guest speaker who is my mama. I will share about her more in a moment. So happy that she has joined me today.

Today’s topic is around expressing your divine essence and aligning with your true self. This is a highly profound topic, and I found to be nothing short of amazing to truly do this in my life. It’s really become my life’s work, which is to really align with my true self. So, we’re going to explore that further today.

So, I want to start with some questions for our listeners today. These are some really important questions I’d like you to be with before we dive into our topic together and invite my mom here. Do you find yourself in a disconnect between your current self and your true self ever? Just kind of feeling into that question right now. How do you think the masculine, the feminine energies in our day-to-day lives can work better together? Where do you feel you are at currently today with where you are leading, from with your masculine or your feminine?


You being a man or a woman, typically that would mean the man leads more with his masculine and accesses his feminine when appropriate, and a woman would lead more with her feminine and accesses her masculine when appropriate. Where are you at with that? Have you thought about it, what’s your journey been with the masculine and feminine inside your body, which really is your natural essence, your core energy, the style of your being? Where are you at with the masculine and the feminine within your body and how you access it?


How can we empower ourselves to find harmony and embrace our collective power and strength instead of competing against each other? The masculine can be seen more as competitive, and the feminine can be seen more as cooperative. So, it is true that in the workplace, in our relationships, with our friends, our loved ones, our family members, we are consistently accessing one of these energies more than the other. So, thinking about where are you at with accessing those energies, why are you accessing them, and when you find yourself accessing more of one energy versus another, right? So, maybe in the workplace, you constantly say, “Oh, I have to be masculine, this is how it is.” Or could it be that accessing your feminine is just as appropriate to be leading in the workplace? Maybe there is just a misperception around the feminine in general. So I’d like to help you clear that up today.


In the meantime, I want to also invite my mom into the podcast now and introduce her. My guest today is an international philanthropist, skilled horsewoman, and trailblazer for women’s empowerment. My mom, Dr. Nancy O’Reilly, who believes women who support each other in abundance and joy, is the key to equality. A successful author and educator, she recently completed a new book: In This Together: How Successful Women Support Each Other in Business and Life. If you are interested in purchasing the book you can find it on Amazon. Thanks mom, thanks for coming in for this podcast today.


  1. NANCY: Thanks. [crosstalk] just a little additional information you can give, the book is available in all the bookstores now too.


RAGAN: Ooh. That’s exciting. That’s awesome.


  1. NANCY: Yeah. Hardcover. Many books don’t come out in hardcover so [inaudible]. I’m so happy to be here, Ragan. Thank you for having me. This is exciting. I never thought I would be doing this and IT is truly a treasure to be with you today.


RAGAN: I was really feeling that, before this started today, I had this strong, just really grateful as well we would be able to enter into this space together and have this be happening. It’s really a great topic to also bring in around, even what we’re bringing forth, the topic, as well as with our relationship. I think we both, as we’ve talked about, we do speaking engagements together, and we have entered into space where we’re starting to help women awaken and empower the divine feminine within themselves.


Really when I talk about one’s true essence, I’m really talking about one’s true style of being, one’s true natural core energy that they Are meant to be leading from. What I have seen for myself is I used to lead more in my masculine. My mom and I have really discovered that as women, heterosexual women, were meant to be leading in our feminine and to be accessing our masculine when needed. This is such a huge issue on the planet still because of the historical past of this planet with the more dominant patriarchal society that we have lived in, not only in this life but also the many lifetimes before this where that is just what it was, dominant patriarchal society.


So now women today are doing their very best to start to lead in their feminine. And most importantly, start to even understand what their feminine is and to take the judgment off it, take the pain off it, take the irrational beliefs around it, off of it. We’ll explore that a little bit more deeply here in a minute.


What I can say is because of leading in our divine feminine essence, your true core soul essence, what happens is you start to tap into the true authentic power of who you really are. You start to really know yourself. You start to feel really comfortable in your own skin so that way you can kind of start to celebrate yourself.


So I’d like to explore this topic with my mom today. The first question I have for my mom is what has been your journey in reference to your essence and the masculine and the feminine in your life? Kind of where it started, what’s it’s been like for you to kind of go through that experience to start to know yourself better?



  1. NANCY: You know, I think Ragan when we get together with women or we are speaking together, I think the first thing that we often hear is how wonderful it is to see a mother and daughter that are literally working and helping each other and standing and sitting in front of other women… I think even last night we had a woman say “I wish I had a relationship like that with my mother.” I think that’s the most important thing that we need to understand as women is that when we do support each other… – and going back to again, the whole essence issue my own mother, my grandmother, I mean, we learn by what we’re surrounded by- we become the people we spend time with.                    

Again, probably for me, there was a conflict. My relationship with my own mother had been conflictual and it seemed a little bit competitive. I often hear that women will say, “What do I do about that mean woman? What do I do about her?” You know, somebody at work or a relationship, but women, again, when we do support each other, – and I think that’s been the most wonderful part about you and I coming together – we are really helping other women see the extreme value. When you have a positive relationship and you really do care and support each other, anything is possible. We see that over and over again. We’ve watched women grow and become so fully aware of who they are as women.


But again, I had to understand that, that feminine part of myself was not how I was leading at all. You helped me tremendously to do that. So I really want to thank you for helping me to understand that.


RAGAN: Well, thank you for honoring me that way.

  1. NANCY: Absolutely.


RAGAN: I wanted to kind of explore with you a little more deeply around this conflictual relationship you had with your mom when you said she was more competitive. I think it’s really important for those who are listening to kind of dive more into that deeper healing experience that you have had with your feminine. Because I think there’s so often this talk about it yet, there’s not really an understanding of how to get there to that next place where they too can begin to understand their feminine, lead in their feminine as the ultimate goal. It’s not, as you know, it’s not been an easy undertaking.


This has been a lifelong journey for you as well as it’s been for me. Just to mention that in the healing of myself, which has been this integration process of becoming who I truly am and learning all these parts of myself and coming into loving all these parts of myself, it’s been a process. The work of discovering that I want to lead in my divine feminine did not come right away. So I believe that first, the question is around your past, your childhood with your mom, and then if you can just lead that into this exploration like “okay, what does that mean?” Now I really want to dive into something that maybe wasn’t modeled for you.


  1. NANCY: I think the one thing that is extremely important for women to understand is the biases they have towards themselves and they have towards other women. Oftentimes this is below the surface. As you’re talking, we’re talking about the essence. We’re talking about cores, that many women are not even understanding at that level, that they’re not valuing themselves. They don’t have self-esteem. They don’t have confidence. Fear. There’s a lot of comparing going on.


For me, my mother had a conflictual relationship with her own mother. One of the things that were so extremely valuable for me, I became very close to my grandmother and learned a lot about my mother through my grandmother, which helped me to really start to have more of a softer kinder thought towards her. It was interesting. The more I supported her, the more I showed love for her, the more I showed her compassion, I received that as well. That was something I think she was almost a little bit confused by because that conflictual relationship she had with her mother, which never ended, by the way, her mother passed and I don’t believe they ever really ended up … I know they really loved and cared about each other, but not that loving, caring, nurturing, that warm, cuddly feeling that they could have had for each other.


I had that towards my own mother before she passed. I believe that was probably the beginning of a journey for me, to understand that that was so important that I have that relationship with my own daughters, all three of you, is that I was going to be a different kind of mother and that took time. It’s still taking time to understand that we as women have this unbelievable power… We come into this world with power. The power to, not the power over, the power to. We have these wonderful skills to develop relationships. We see the big issues. We see ways to take care of those issues.


Women have been solving problems for centuries. That’s what we do. We’re problem- solvers. We rock the cradle. We take care of things, with our support, our love and our understanding of what we need to do as far as the nurturing. But we also have to nurture ourselves. And I think that’s what we are saying to women over and over again. You need to take care of yourself. You need to love and care about yourself. The self- esteem, self-confidence, self-awareness that we have is so extremely important. Then we can share that with our daughters.


I mean, you’re a beautiful, wonderful woman, Ragan. There’s no doubt about it. I watched you grow and you know the love that you have for yourself, you exude with other women as well. I think that’s what we all need. We need those role models. We need those mentors. We need someone to help to show us the way, but we also have to say this is what we can do as women. We’re wonderful as we are. Our femininity is what makes us so very special.


I mean we have children. I mean let’s face it. We have such a huge responsibility, but the responsibility that we really have is towards ourselves first, and then we can share.


RAGAN: Thank you. Thank you so much. So in reference to the deeper dive that I’m asking you about, in reference to some of the pain that you might have been feeling regards to your mom being in this conflictual relationship already as you said, with her own mom, so being in that situation with your mom in that circumstance, really inside your home where she wasn’t nurturing, she wasn’t being compassionate and kind perhaps, and maybe feminine really. I mean, not that that’s all that the feminine is … and that’s something else I like to clear up. What is the feminine? What is the masculine and what are those energies? How are they working in our lives? It doesn’t feel like that sense of cooperation versus aggression versus more of that doing energy versus being energy. The doing is more masculine, the feminine is more being. It’s like there is a lot of doing, going.


I’ve met my grandmother many times. I became close to her before she passed. I wouldn’t say I was extremely close to her because I don’t feel like you were extremely close to her in my life, you know? So I remember thinking “I don’t know her that well”, but I got to know her a little bit more towards the end of the journey before she passed.                    

What I could sense is that something she said to me, which really always stood out to me that I knew she must have said to you probably 101 times was this, that she says, “You just gotta keep going. You just got to keep going.” What I heard when she said that always was a red flag for me, based on what she said and what you experienced was this lack of just being and just resting in her spirit. It was like, you gotta go, you gotta do. What I hear about that is there’s a lack of really feeling your feelings and that is the feminine. That is really, this … I’ve done so much psychological processing of my old stories and so much of trying to figure myself out through this, what I’m doing in the world. I think that for women … also, this is a topic for men today as well, but men are meant to be leading in their masculine. This is for anyone who is a man or a woman, what’s their core essence? What’s the style of your being? Who are you really? Where are you meant to be leading from?


So today, obviously in this audio or this podcast, we have me here with my mom. So we’ve got two women. We are exploring more of the deeper dive into the feminine. Point being is that we’re attempting to figure out within ourselves, who we are. So based on this experience of who we are, some of our energy of trying to figure out in the past through the doing, through what we achieve, how successful we are. Like, “Look what I’ve done. Look at this success … ” You know, that’s masculine. Men are very much about achieving something. Their life purpose, their mission. They want to get something done. It’s very, very common. So I kind of sensed, when I heard your mom say that, I felt like very masculine energy from her and didn’t feel feminine at any point, honestly in my relationship with her. So I can only imagine that that modeling for you has been an interesting thing to kind of unwind out of and see where you fit into the balance of really the harmonization of the masculine-feminine within yourself.


I know that with clients that I work with now and the goddess work that I do, as you know, I facilitate Goddess Gatherings, there are so many women that really have no idea what the feminine is. If they feel like they know what the feminine is, they are so confused by it being something more of a weaker nature and an energy that is not going to get things done. Which is really interesting because when we tap into our true divine essence, it is this ultra-empowering, energizing experience. I know that when I am leading in my feminine, it’s like there’s this vital vast source of energy and a well that I can just access and access. Then I go to bed, I feel very fulfilled and I did get a lot done. So there’s this misperception that you can’t get much done if you’re leading in your feminine and for the masculine, they certainly go, “I don’t have feminine energy. I’ve got stuff to do.” It’s like “whoa, whoa. Where’s the journey about getting in touch with their feelings?”.  Men are supposedly more thinkers, right? Women are feelers. We’re both meant to be doing both. It’s not just one or the other. It’s just, where are we meant to be leading from. So my question for you is, the journey of being in your house and moving from, you know, maybe leaving the house and this very masculine energy, and then moving into your own world, how long do you feel like it started to take on your journey? What was that like for you on your journey to start, again, to harmonize the masc and the feminine, to bring it into balance more in your life? What was that? What did that look like for you?


  1. NANCY: Well, the term that keeps coming up as you’re talking is a vulnerability. This is something that women really do have difficulty with. Again, it’s because of the models. It’s because of what they’ve seen culturally. Again, going back to those biases that they have to be strong. That they have to be … As I said, you said, my mother said, “You have to keep going.” To me, that also felt like you had to support yourself. You had to do it on your own. You had to do it alone. I think that feminine essence is actually, you don’t have to do it alone. You’re never alone. There are always people out there if you ask for help, if you ask people how you can help and ways that you can also help and be helped. I mean there’s something so valuable as asking someone, “Could you help me?” I mean, how many people would say, “No, I won’t help you.” But women, as we become even more feminine, we can turn around and say, “Ragan, how can I help you? This is a wonderful thing that you’re doing, but I’d really like to be a part of that.”


I think that’s part of it for me was learning that I’m not alone, that there are many people out there that are here to assist me in this lifetime. That I don’t have to do it by myself and it … You know what? It’s a lot more fun when we have support and we work with each other.


No, I mean I think that was it. I think there are many women out there right now that have their superwoman T-shirts on underneath their clothing and they believe if they have to ask for help, somehow they’ll be targeted or they’ll be even more vulnerable than they’re afraid they’re already. But that vulnerability is the feminine, that vulnerability is reaching out, is being that softer, more feminine side.


But again, there’s something amazing when we all work together when we’re all in it together. That’s why the book is called In This Together because we really are not alone. I think that’s, for me, the feminine has become more and more that … I mean, we watch it over and over again when we bring women together. There are so many women that are thrilled. They’re absolutely thrilled when they find that somebody is saying, “Well, how can I help you?”, when we ask that question, “What do you need? How can I help?” That’s what we … if we can all do that, men included.                    

You’re talking about leading, but men have the ability to lead with their feminine side too, because we know. We’re seeing more success occur with relationship building, when we develop those kinds of relationships and those kinds of ways of working together, the outcome is always positive.


RAGAN: I think that’s where it gets into this idea of harmonization, right? For each sex, male and female, to start to just kind of intuitively tap into what energy is most appropriate to bring forward. So rather than this kind of old way of being that we need to do in a certain way. There’s a stereotype against men and women, right? Men shouldn’t cry and women need to be superwomen, right? These are just two examples. That being said, that lends to this level of inauthenticity. Really I think the pain that people feel around when they’re not leading in their appropriate essence, right? The essence is their natural energy, their natural, like I said, the style of their being. I just love the way that sounds because it’s really tapping into this who you are as yourself, not like anyone else, then tapping into when it’s appropriate, which energy within you, you want to bring forward.


As you start to kind of be comfortable with that, start to not judge that or again, you know what I should be doing, what other people think I’m supposed to be having to be a certain way, leads to this inauthenticity. When you feel that inauthenticity in yourself, you end up de-energizing yourself. You feel this kind of lack of vital energy, which leads to a lot of the less-than energy, a lot of the worth issues on the planet. You just don’t feel good about yourself. You feel no matter what you do, and that’s the key word is do versus just be, you feel that it’s never enough. There is no end to that journey. So we do have an opportunity to bring these energies into balance within ourselves and start allowing ourselves to naturally feel what we feel.


I might be talking a little bit more about the feminine right now with the feeling-oriented energy, but then again, men have feelings. You know, it’s been such an intense journey with certain men I’ve known in my life for them to come into being okay to have their feelings. Really they had a lot of feelings that were just pushed down by a controlling, perhaps masculine mother, by society, what they thought society would want to have them be more of, this strong, thinking driven masculine that supposedly that denotes that they’re worthy.


  1. NANCY: Yeah. You’re talking about being authentic, but I think probably for men and for women, when we truly start to allow ourselves to have that self-value, that self-esteem, that confidence in knowing who we are, it gets to be a lot easier around men and women working together and living together and being together, when you don’t have to be on guard. I think that’s probably what happens when you’re not being authentic and you’re not in your true essence, is that you’re on guard. You’re afraid you’re going to say, or do I’d like to … that would-have, could-have, should-have thinking, which I call it stinking thinking. It’s when we’re on guard and we’re … I remember when I’d go back sometimes after, and this was again, did I do the right thing? Did I do the right thing? I think that’s when you come into your own and you start to truly know and understand and value yourself, you don’t question that. You don’t even think about that. You don’t later on go “Oh my gosh, why did I say that? Why did I do that?”.


When you’re on the right path, you meet the right people. And that’s when you feel good. Like you said, when you’re energized. I mean even our event last night, I went home feeling really good. When you’re on the right path, you feel good. You don’t question yourself. You don’t ask questions like, “Oh, what did she think of that?” Or, “Should I have done this?” Or, “Should I have done that?” When you start questioning yourself over and over again, you need to stop and go, “Wait a minute, why am I doing this?” Because this is not truly who you are. Who you truly are, is that your life is smooth and it’s easier and things just come easily, I mean, when you’re on the right path.


I’d like to think that’s how I value what I’m doing is, that time flies by. When you truly love what you’re doing, and you truly love the people you’re spending time with, time just flies by. It’s almost effortless to be in that space. We as women can feel that. Men can feel that as well. So maybe if we all stop would-have, could-have, should-have thinking and start really believing in who we are, and getting past that, something amazing can happen.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we were all on the same page? Wouldn’t that be amazing?


RAGAN: Yeah. It would be amazing.


  1. NANCY: No poverty. Everybody educated. We’d be healthy. Would be a wonderful, wonderful planet.


RAGAN: It would be a wonderful world.


  1. NANCY: Let’s work on that.


RAGAN: It’s happening. It’s happening.


  1. NANCY: Yes, it is.


RAGAN: It’s happening. So in reference to kind of the masculine and feminine, I wanted to take a little ride on exploring those more deeply. So the doing versus the being. The masculine, the aggression versus the surrender, this more feminine, analytical versus intuitive. Concrete versus abstract. Obviously, the first one is the masculine. So aggressive, doing energy, analytical, concrete, all about more of the competition versus cooperation. So it sounds like the masculine is life driven, driven to or for a purpose to accomplish something, to make something happen. It’s that doing. Go make it happen and achieve something. And the feminine which is again, it’s interesting because you can see that, obviously,  there are many women on the planet that are doing some wonderful things, right?


  1. NANCY: Absolutely.


RAGAN: They’re accomplished in one or two things and highly empowered women, that are out there just being their true self and getting things done, right?        

So I think there’s this interesting misperception we’re constantly trying to clear up on this planet because there’s been like I said, such an imbalance with this, that women feel that when they tap into their masculine, that’s when they get things done. So great. I love that because that’s true. We can access our masculine because it is doing energy. But as soon as we are done with the doing energy to come back into the feminine to lead in it, to reside there. That would be your place of power, your seat.


The same with the masculine, for them to go into their feminine when it’s needed and to access that. Maybe that’s something that they want to access more often with a relationship with their beloved, or with their children or within their work partners, with their work partners at their business, really kind of diving into what’s going on behind closed doors, with someone who may be struggling, one of their friends.


So anyway, I just wanted to bring that forward and see how you resonate with the differences between the masculine and the feminine in your life.


  1. NANCY: There are words that come to mind when you’re talking and one of them is value. Again, growing up in a conflictual relationship with my own mother, there was that questioning of my own value and my own worth. Maybe where the masculine comes into play is trying to figure out how you can get that value, how you can get that, approval. But where the feminine comes into is actually valuing yourself and knowing that this is who you are.


It shouldn’t be surprising to anyone when somebody comes up and says, “You’re a loving, caring, kind person”. But I think there are women that will go, “What? What?” I actually love that and I’ve actually had somebody say to me before, “But you’re such a nice person.” I say to them, “Why shouldn’t I be?”


We in our society have some unusual thinking about when we actually do talk about the more feminine side, which is loving, caring, and valuing. I mean that, again, going back to the whole issue of vulnerability, but that it’s when we have that experience more and more with people, it’s just amazing what happens.


I mean watching people last night support each other, and seeing surprise sometimes on the faces of some of the women there. In fact, that’s where I began doing a lot of my podcasts. This woman, I said, “Well, Mary, how can I help you?” This little voice came back and said, and it was almost as if, “You mean you want to help me?” I said, “That’s exactly what I want to do.” We as women can do that, but men need that as well. So we are constantly … we have to find that balance between our masculine and our feminine.


We as women have this delightful opportunity to come out. I mean, we get to be women now. This is the exciting thing in work and in corporations. We get to dress as women. We get to act like women. We get to wear makeup and wear beautiful clothes.

When I was working in, I dressed as a man. I wore a tie. This was back when, but that’s the way I got it done. I had padded shoulders and I wore a tie, but now I can walk out with a dress. I can have beautiful hair and jewelry, but actually, this is a wonderful time for women and women that can actually be women and not have to lead as men or pretend to be men.


We see too many women out there that are leading as men and they’re not getting the job done. They’re actually causing more harm and they’re not lifting other women up as they go. I think that’s what’s so important: we lift as we go.


RAGAN: So, in reflection to what you were sharing, I think it’s just a little, it would be interesting to dive a little deeper into as well now around vulnerability, which has been a very kind of intense feat for me, I know, to fully become vulnerable and still at times wanting to be strong or wanting to show myself as “I got this” kind of thing.                    

So I think that what I’ve learned about that is for most men and women, to be vulnerable brings up a great deal of fear. I think that it’s important to note that fear is a pretty large contagion on the planet right now. A lot of these insecurities and fears that rise up, especially by becoming vulnerable, is real.                

Again, to advise to everyone who’s listening to just note what your fear is. What are your fears? What are your insecurities? To be vulnerable is to do that. Is to say, “Okay, yeah, I do have this going on inside myself. I still feel like I’m not enough. I still feel that I’m not worthy. I have a fear that if I’m vulnerable, someone’s going to hurt me.”                

Because that’s really what’s happened for most men and women is, at some point, you did attempt to be your true self. You did try to be who you were and those around you said, “No, it’s not working for me” in some way. Whether that be your parents or a sibling or it was a beloved, a partnership that you were in of some sort where someone said to you, “I hear that you feel like you can talk like that or say that or be that. I don’t like it. In fact, I need you to stop that right now. You’re too emotional. You’re too sensitive. You’re too silly. You’re too aggressive.” Whatever you were, you were too much. Typically, that starts to shut us down. Then our vulnerability is the first thing to really go. We just, “Oh no, I gotta put on this protective shell. I’ve got to wear this masculine shell or this feminine shell. I need to hide inside of it and wear these masks so that people can’t really see who I really am. Because I’m afraid if they see who I really am, what’s happened before is going to happen again.” So what do you have to say about these masks that individuals are wearing and how to take them off?


  1. NANCY: Well, the first thing I’m going to say, and I say this quite often, don’t believe everything you see and you hear. Check in with yourself as far as your beliefs. I think that’s, again, going back to a lot of those biases that, what we’ve been taught is not necessarily true.


Again, I think unfortunately in our society, fear is how we motivate people to do things. We do it in marketing. I mean, if you look at marketing, the best way to get women to buy anything is guilt. So we have a huge number of women that are depressed because they have impossible comparisons that they’re constantly being saying, “You need to look this way. You need to act this way. You need to wear this, you need to do this.” So we have to understand that everything we see and everything we read and we hear, we don’t necessarily have to believe. But be aware of how it’s affecting us. Again, I think that’s where they’re actually attacking the feminine because they’re saying you’re not good enough. That vulnerability, they’re going right to the core of that.


But I say this, women, we have this wonderful core of vulnerability, but also, sometimes growth is uncomfortable and getting past our fears. Once we get past our fears, anything is possible. I don’t think you and I would be sitting here right now talking in this podcast if we hadn’t gotten past some of our fears.


I find as a woman, my fear has helped me to understand myself even better and that vulnerability even better. Once I conquer one of those fears, and you may call it masculine but I call it also that feminine, which is … Again, just think of the history that women have gone through for survival and for their children to survive. We’ve had to push forward and use those feminine strengths, and those caregiving and nurturing strengths to be where we are today.


But again, don’t believe everything you hear, and you see, and you read. Understand how things are affecting you. You have a right to have self-worth. You have a right to be valued. You’re worth it. Don’t ever, ever forget that. Your own value is so extremely important. That feminine part of yourself? Yeah. I think it’s absolutely the most important thing to women begin to understand the strength and the value.

There is a strength with being feminine. In fact, the term feminist is now a valued term again. Being a feminist is a valuable term.




  1. NANCY: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely yay.


RAGAN: What I was hearing when you were speaking was this strategy to question everything. Versus believe what someone might tell you and worry about what they think and what they say. Instead, you question everything within yourself. Again, by questioning everything, which is also kind of this spiritual-based principal, you certainly get to know yourself. You certainly get to know who you are and what you like, what you feel is important to you, what you enjoy, what makes you happy. Then also to know yourself is to know thyself is to love thyself. So there’s this idea of getting to know oneself, loving oneself and then starting to diminish fear through basically seeing the truth in everything.

It just becomes a natural byproduct of like, how do I really diminish fear? It’s really getting to the truth. How do you get to the truth if you don’t authentically know yourself?    

Because then you start to believe what everybody else is saying. You watch the media, Looking at the paper, looking at the TV. “So and so said this to me. I don’t really know myself. So now I’m going to take on what they think is to be true”, which is bringing up fear for me because it’s not my truth.


  1. NANCY: I love that. Getting to know yourself, that’s extremely important. I believe every life is about learning. I’m here to learn. Every day I’m here to learn something else. So yeah, knowing thyself, that is a lifetime journey because we’re constantly faced with change.


People say they love change. Well, I know as a psychologist that’s not necessarily true, but I can guarantee you, tomorrow will be a different day. Today’s different, but tomorrow will be a different day.


RAGAN: I wish more people loved change. I really do because change is the only thing that is constant and most people really resist change actually.                    

They just resist it like it’s the plague. It is actually the most important thing to really become great at in this life. Because we are required to change and to grow in order to know thyself, to love thyself. It’s literally required because what we’re really doing over the course of time is we’re letting go of all that old unresolved stuff inside of us… that’s limiting in serving, right? These energies, these fears, these worries, these doubts, these insecurities, these judgments, these limiting patterns and limiting beliefs-


  1. NANCY: Makes me tired.


RAGAN:… all this stuff, right? So I hear you that you felt like you were tired when I said all that, Mom. And what I want to say is, it is a day-to-day, moment-by-moment process.


  1. NANCY: Yeah, absolutely.


RAGAN: It literally, if we could just be patient and just rest in the now of this moment versus the doing, right? Getting out there outside of ourselves.        

“Oh my God, when am I going to be healed? When is it going to be enough? When am I going to be enough? Finally, will someone appreciate me? Approve of me? Like me? Love me? I’ve done enough.” That is this imbalance with the masculine and the feminine we’re talking about.                

You know, if a woman is thinking that way, she’s denying herself of just being. A man, the same. If he’s constantly trying to do, to be approved of, and he’s forgetting about his feminine, same thing. It’s really the same thing. It leads to feeling low energy, not feeling vital energy. We all know what that feels like.


There are days where you wake up and you’re either on the right side of the bed or the other side of the bed and you feel how did this happen? Why did this happen? We’ll just check on what happened yesterday. What were you doing for the last few days before this? Was there any presence? Was there any relaxation? Was there any self-care? Was there any self-nurturing? Was there any resting in your spirit? Was there any of that?


Sometimes they’ll say, “Oh no, you know I took a bath on Tuesday”, well that was like four days ago.” Where’s the daily practice of that? I think that that is self-loving. That’s self-nurturing and that is for men and for women.            


I know many men who have a very solid self-caring practice of baths and massages and manicures and pedicures. I’m not talking about men that are not straight. I mean that are masculine,  that are taking care of themselves. So they have learned to harmonize their masculine and their feminine. And they do not see self-nurturing, self- care as weakness. They see that it’s just truly taking care of themselves.


  1. NANCY: Absolutely. Yeah. We’re not promised tomorrow. Yesterday’s gone, tomorrow’s yet to be, and that’s why they call it the present. Today. Today’s where we are.


RAGAN: Right. Yeah, that’s absolutely true. Well, thank you so much, Mom. This has been such a joy and just an honor to be with you today. I had a lot of fun and this conversation really was enlightening and stimulating. I just really positive, good energy in my body. Thank you so much for joining me.


  1. NANCY: I just love when we come together. Gosh, did you ever think we’d do something like this? This is so amazing. I just absolutely love this. Now, this is truly what I love to do. I mean, and it’s so great that we can do this together. So I’m absolutely thrilled. You can have me on any time.

Any time.

RAGAN: I feel like I’m going to have to call you again.


  1. NANCY: Yeah. Okay. Thank you so much, Ragan. This has been delightful. Ah, yes. The book is available in all the bookstores. It is called In This Together- which we are- In This Together: How Successful Women Support Other Women In Business And Life. It’s available in your local bookstore now. Buy a copy for yourself, your best friends.


It’s really a say-and-do book. We talk a lot about things, but we don’t talk about what we do support each other, anything is possible. Also, go to and I have podcasts and I have information and blogs on women’s leadership, women empowerment and just how you can truly, truly be your authentic self as well. Remember how special you really, really are.

Thank you, Ragan. This has been delightful. Let’s do it again.


RAGAN: Thank you so much.


We’d also like to thank our sponsor for this episode. The Impact Hub in Santa Barbara. Impact Hub is a coworking space for change-makers and entrepreneurs to collaborate, be inspired and make an impact. Impact Hub, Santa Barbara helps members find their true self by giving them the tools to succeed as entrepreneurs and thrive in all of their ventures. Use the code Ragan10 to get a 10% discount on your first month, the flex part-time or full-time membership offer valid through May of 2019.


All right, so I’m going to move us into a closing prayer right now. What I’d like us all to do, if you aren’t already doing this, please take your seat somewhere. Please sit down, just resting your body and please place your hands over your heart space. I’m gonna move us through just a couple of deep breaths and then we’re going to move into prayer together. Thank you so much.


So on three, I’d like you to take a breath in through your nose, out through your mouth and on the out breath please make a sound. We are going to do three deep breaths today. Starting with our first breath, one, two and three (deep breath).


One, two and three (deep breath). One, two and three (deep breath).


Okay. Good. Return to a normal breath now. Just a little bit of a deeper normal breath. Just letting yourself rest in your breath right now, letting it center you, calm you down. Thank you so much.


Moving into prayer. So I thank you, I thank you, I thank you so very much, mother, father, God, Goddess for this beautiful, blessed day, for in this day and this moment here in this space in place, it is true that I know and I know that we all are this. We are all divine expressions of God. If that is true and it is true, it means that everything that we seek, everything that we desire, everything that we wish for is already within us. All the love, all the joy, all the beauty, bliss, faith, compassion, gratitude, abundance, prosperity, clarity, you name it, everything is there. The only thing that is standing in the way of us remembering the truth of who we are, the truth that these energies exist within us, is yourself.


What happens within ourselves sometimes we start to buy into what’s called the ego. We start to buy into these fears, these doubts, these worries, these insecurities, these judgments, limiting energies, limiting patterns irrational beliefs, feeling that we are these lower energies and we lead from these energies. So I ask you, mother, father, God, Goddess, help us all to remove anything and everything that is ready to be removed from our bodies that do not serve us anymore. Anything that’s limiting. Help us move into this deeper union with our true self, our divine core essence, our sole essence, who we really are, who we came here to be.


Simply being as we are would be enough. Letting go of any kind of not enough energy, not worthy energy, clearly seeing that as we are in this moment, we are enough. Thank you so much.


I call for the divine assistance of all angels, guides, and masters of mine and anyone else’s who’s on this podcast today, your angel guides and masters as well to be with us right now, to assist us in any way, to let go of these energies that might be unserving. I’m so grateful for your assistance and your presence.


And please, I ask you, mother, father, God, Goddess, if there’s an imbalance around this diving into our true soul’s core essence such as our masculine or feminine, our natural state of being, our natural energy, the style of our being, please I ask you, anything that might be standing in the way of this happening for each one of us, to bring this into harmony our masculine or feminine.


I ask for assistance to remove all blockages, all obstacles that might still exist within. I’m so very grateful. Thank you so much. With these words I say, and so it is.


So take just one moment here, take a deep and slow breath (deep breath).


Thank you so much for joining me today on this podcast and this closing prayer. It’s been such an honor and a privilege to be here with you all. Thank you for joining me. I hope to be serving you more in the future with these podcasts.


If you liked what you heard now, I would invite you to please join me on my website, There you’ll find information about me as well as upcoming events. You can buy tickets for the events as well as listen to my audios. Podcasts are there. I’m finding that women and men are telling me that they’re getting quite a bit of benefit from listening weekly to these. So please join me on as well as follow me on social media @ragan_thomson, please. I appreciate it. Thank you so much. Blessings.


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