Do you know how to begin to be your dearest friend?

It is in the journey of beginning to let up our feelings that we start to be the most special person in our world. We hold the key to creating the most beautiful relationship in our life which is within self.

Our feelings hold information about us all and they want to be acknowledged as well as heard. Men and women alike have feelings.

When we become in a better relationship with these feelings it is then that we come into a better relationship with ourself!

Become Your Best Friend

by Ragan Thomson | Weekly Message #32

Audio Transcript

Below is an edited transcript for all of our bibliophiles and hearing impaired community members. We hope you enjoy!

Ragan: Hello. Hello. Hello everyone. Good day. Good day. Good day to you. Hi. Hi. Hi. How’s it going? How are you feeling today? What’s happening in your body? What’s happening in your spirit? Are you feeling light, carefree? Are you feeling emotional, stressed, anxious? What are you feeling right now? Seriously now, let’s just take a breath. Take a nice big breath. Get in touch with that feeling you’re having. What is it?


I feel sad. I feel mad. I feel tired. I feel peaceful. Just get in touch with that feeling. I just want you to voice it out loud. Now I feel Dah, Dah, Dah, Dah, right? Whatever it is. Thank you.
Take another deep breath. Now I want you to trace that feeling back to some sort of catalyst that brought that feeling on currently in your life. The catalyst, meaning what began that feeling inside your body? Was it something that happened with a friend, a partner? Something happened at work? Maybe you have a fear and anxiety. What’s kind of stirred and became this catalyst for this feeling?


So then I want you to finish that. I feel sad, this is the example, because I had a fight with my boyfriend. Take a deep breath, finish that statement. And now can you just relax into it, that you have this feeling that’s now come up, it’s being worked with. It’s being recognized, it’s being acknowledged. Just notice how it feels just to acknowledge that feeling versus just kind of try to hide it or stuff it. It’s so powerful to just shine the flashlight on our feelings. Let them be heard or let them be seen. Just notice how it just feels good just to do that.
Now I want you to go a little bit further here and we’re going to take a couple more deep breaths. One, two, three. Take a deep breath. One, two, three. Do it one more time. I wanted to really let go on that breath. One, two and three.


Good. Now working with the feeling is that feeling needed something from you right now to help it, what might that be? What does that feeling want? What are you hearing? Maybe it’s compassion, love, assistance to be heard, to be worked with more often. Whatever it is, can you just listen and can you respond to that energy? If it’s asking for love, can you love that feeling right now versus judge it or shame it or blame it? So often we’re shaming, blaming, or judging ourselves. And that includes our feeling.


Just allow yourself to feel and hearing yourself. Good.


So give that to your feeling now. Whatever it is that it needs, pour it on. Very good. Taking a deep breath when you’re done.


The world of our feelings. Wow. How powerful, huh? We are so often determined to not feel our feelings and the only thing that our feelings one or to be heard. And it is so powerful and we start doing this as a practice. I’m telling you, I talk about this a lot as a coach and as a teacher because it is so often that everyone is trying to run, deny, resist or react to their feelings. It’s like their feelings are out to get them, right?


And there’s nothing farther from the truth that’s happening. Your feelings are a part of you. They are a part of you. And they come and they go. And I want us to start to have this really beautiful relationship with our feelings on a daily basis. And if there’s any part of you that’s resisting what I’m saying right now and says, oh no, I’m consistently feeling what I’m meant to feel and oh, I don’t like my feelings. You know, I’m a man, I don’t feel feelings, I’m a thinker.


Guess what? Men have feelings too. They have lots of feeling. And men want to feel and they have almost a harder time with it, right, because the stigma of this kind of where we’ve come from is men don’t cry. Men that are strong don’t have feelings. Men are meant to be the rock, right? The rock doesn’t mean that the rock doesn’t have feelings. The rock has feelings. The way they got to be a rock, by the way, is because they decided to become better in relationship with themselves, with their true self.


How does a woman become more steadfast, more solid in her core? Because she too got to know herself so well that she started to know that she’s okay in this world, she’s safe in this world. And how she did that it should be came in close relationship with her feelings. She started to feel what she was feeling. She started to be there for herself.


One of the greatest practices I offer consistently, and I do talk about this often, so if you heard it before, you’re hearing it again because I don’t know how many reminders we need to start doing this. As soon as you start to feel the feeling, you close your eyes. We’re going to practice this right now. You close your eyes and you say to yourself, okay, I am feeling, and I’d like you to place your hands over your heart right now if you would. And it’d be really great if you could sit down. Just take a moment for yourself and just take a seat here. Thank you.


So maybe you have a new feeling rising up. Maybe you just had the feeling from before. Let’s work with us healing, okay? Let it rise. I am feeling tired. And then I want you to say to yourself, I hear you. Really hear yourself on this. I hear you. I hear you feel this way. And now I want you to say I see you. Okay, I see you. And then the last one, I feel you. It’s like you’re acknowledging that energy. It’s just energy, right? It wants to be heard, acknowledged, have you want to take it one step further.
And I love you. It’s like you’re saying to yourself, I love you regardless of what I feel, my feelings are not who I am. Do you understand that you are not tired, you are not tired as the truth of your being? If you’re feeling sad, you are not sad as the truth of your being. You’re temporarily feeling sad, right?


But we so often we judge ourself when we feel that way, right? Oh, I’m not supposed to feel tired. I’m not supposed to feel sad. I’m supposed to be vibrant and amazing and on and people like me and love me more when I’m this way. So I just got to be good. I got to be great. I got to be on. I got to be vibrant. This is what people like. No, no. This is not what you like because it’s not authentic. It’s exhausting.


You want to become your true authentic self. And that may mean at this point right now, your authentic self sometimes is very sad right now. And guess what that means? As you really start to feel that sadness and know that sadness and get to know that sadness is just to release. It starts to want to be let go of. It doesn’t want to stick around anymore because it’s wanting, now the energy is moving. That’s what happens when we hear and acknowledge our feelings. We move the energy, it moves. It just wants to move.


And then something replaces that energy with another energy, right? And maybe the new energy is, it’s happiness. That sadness is replaced with peace. Sadness replaced with happiness. Isn’t that amazing? It can be replaced with a new feeling once the old feeling is moved out.
Gosh, I feel so liberated talking him about this. It has been such a journey for me to really just start doing this. I came from a family that just said, I want you to be happy, just want you to be happy. Whatever it is, just happiness. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t trying to be authentic. It wasn’t trying to be who you are. It was just happy. So I was always trying to be happy. And so I was putting on the happy face, putting on the happy smile, how you doing today? I’m good, I’m really good. I’m fine, yeah. Even though underneath I was crying out in pain.


If you feel pain, just share it with the world, that you know you can share with someone that will hear you and love you and not judge you. If you’re feeling pain, number one, share with yourself. Let you be your best friend. You be your best friend. How amazing does that sound? Sounds so good to me. I want you to state that out loud, holding your hand over your heart. I am my best friend. I am my dearest friend, however you want to word it. I am my dearest friend. I have my back.
I love you, stating your name. I love you, stating your name again. Just notice right now how you’re feeling right now from I’m doing that. What is that feeling that you’re having? Can you just let it rise? Maybe it feels so good. Maybe it feels new or awkward. Just let that feeling rise. Let all feelings rise. That’s all I want to do. Rather than be pushed down.


Let’s stop pushing ourself down from this day forward more and more. Let’s make a vow to that right now. I vow to stop pushing myself down and just hear my feelings, hear me, all of me. No matter what me is, just me. Letting me be heard. That feels so good.


Thank you so much for hearing me today. I just really felt a need, just genuine a need to share about this because it is a large contagion on the planet of people just not knowing themselves because they’re just so afraid of their feelings and afraid to know themselves. They’re afraid if they go into that rabbit hole, they’re not coming out. I promise you are. And it gets easier, better, lighter and brighter the more that we do it over time, I promise you.


Thank you for hearing me today. Sending so much love and have a great rest of your day. Blessings. Bye Bye.

 

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